Lose Yourself to Find Yourself
Zoe was once again firing arrow after arrow at the many targets set around her, and once again she was missing every target. Her arrows flew off into the forest, and many would never be found again. Zoe threw down her bow in frustration and sat down heavily on a nearby tree stump. She felt hopeless. What kind of Ranger Apprentice couldn't hit a target from just twenty metres away? How would she ever earn her bronze oak leaf? No one had ever believed that Zoe would become a Ranger, not even her own parents. And now, she herself was beginning to lose faith.
Zoe became aware of faint hoof beats drawing closer and she perked up a bit. She heard her own horse, Thunder, nicker a greeting. She picked herself up and walked along the short, discreet path that lead back to the cabin. She passed huge oak trees that swayed as if being pushed by an invisible current, and a small stream bubbled in the distance. Through the trees, Zoe spied the small but cosy cabin and arrived just in time to see Gilan dismount.
"Hey Gil," she called merrily. "You're late again."
"I, umm, went on a little detour to see Jenny…" He grinned sheepishly.
Zoe just rolled her eyes and followed Gilan into the cabin. She took her flint and steel, bent down by the wood stove and soon had a large fire going. Gilan had filled a pot with water and began adding chopped vegetables and succulent beef into it. He then set it on the stove and began to make coffee. As the stew cooked, a delicious aroma wafted through the air.
"So, how's that shooting going?" Gilan inquired meanfully.
"Same as always," Zoe mumbled.
"Zoe, you've got to try harder, I know that you're fantastic at all the other aspect of a ranger, but the judges at the gathering don't. And if they see that you can't shoot, they might just kick you out straight away." urged Gilan.
"I know, I'm trying my hardest, I swear!" Zoe replied.
"Are you Zoe?" Cause right now, you just aren't good enough," Gilan said gently.
"Gil, I need your support not your criticism. Can't you see that?" Zoe cried. Her emotions were running high and she didn't want to accept the truth.
"Zoe I'm trying to help…" Gilan began.
"Just shut up! I can't shoot! Why won't you just accept that and leave me alone! I know you want me to be the next 'Madelyn Altman', but I'm not! God what is wrong with you?" Zoe's words flowed like an angry torrent. She was out of control. She stormed around the cabin, collecting a few supplies and gathering up her spare clothes. She clipped on her double scabbard and slung her bow and quiver over her shoulder.
"Zoe, I…I didn't mean it that way I…" Gilan stuttered, totally lost for words. But Zoe was already out the door and retreating into the night.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Zoe shivered and huddled deeper into her cloak. She gripped her saxe tightly and her eyes never ceased to move. Every muscle in her body was tense and ready to fight. The moonlight was blocked by dark clouds that scudded across the sky, and the forest on either side of the path was dense and dark. Shadows flickered between the trees causing Zoe to lose sight of what was realty and what was her imagination.
When she first left the cabin, Zoe had sprinted as fast as possible, eager to lengthen the distance between her and Gilan. But once she had navigated her way through Wensley Village, her surroundings became a blur. She was fairly certain that the river she had just crossed had been the Tarbus. Her legs began to ache and her eyelids were getting heavier. She stumbled off the path into a clearing, and cursed herself for not bring camping supplies. Instead, she flopped onto the forest floor and rolled up in her cloak. She began to sob softly, crying herself to sleep.
Zoe was woken by tendrils of grey light creeping across her face. She sat up in confusing, before it all came flooding back to her. The cabin. The fight. Gilan. Her stomach flipped as she realised she had no idea where she was, she had barely any food and Gilan would be furious. She had never meant for this to happen. She wanted to back with Gilan, but he would never forgive her. And since she had made such a show of leaving, she was not going to just slink back now with her tail between her legs. She would keep walking, there had to be a town close by. She'd live life on the run, be an outlaw.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Gilan was to stunned to do anything. His apprentice was gone, whisked off into the night. He didn't even know what he'd done wrong! Was it something he said? Confusion forced him into panic, he gathered some supplies and raced outside, mounted blaze and galloped into the dark.
The guards heard the rider coming long before they saw him. Gilan, knowing he wouldn't find his apprentice in the dark, had ridden non-stop to Castle Araluen. The towers sawed gracefully, fluttering pennants pierced the sky and the grounds were immaculate. But Gilan saw none of this. He slowed Blaze as they approached the guards and fished his oak leaf from his shirt, granting him instant access to the castle. Blaze clattered into the court yard and Gilan motioned to a stable boy to take care of her. Normally, Gilan would have done it himself, but he had bigger issues to deal with.
Gilan dashed up the many spiralling stairs to the commandant's suite of rooms and knocked intently on the door. He heard a loud 'thump' followed by cursing, and Crowley appeared at the door. He looked Gilan up and down, taking in the bags under his eyes and the dishevelled state of his clothes. Without a word, he ushered the distressed ranger in side and called to a servant to fetch Halt and Will, who happened to be at the castle.
Moments later, the four rangers were gathered around a small table, worn smooth by years of use.
"You're up Gil," said Crowley. Gilan sighed heavily.
"We were discussing the gathering, and I told her she needed to try harder, she got offended and before I knew it, she had disappeared into the night." He whispered.
Will and Halt's eyebrows shot up simultaneously and Crowley looked bewildered.
"She just left?" questioned Will in a confused matter.
"Yes…" Gil replied.
Crowley rubbed his face tiredly and began to issue orders.
"Right, Will, find a courier and get a letter written up explaining the situation. Then take it to scribe school and get fifty copies transcribed, have them mailed to every ranger. Halt, inform the king that we have an apprentice ranger on the loose. Gil, get some sleep. It's all stations go, tomorrow, we ride east. We must find the girl, before others do."