It Hurts Every Time, a mega man fanfic

This story is rated "M" for frequent useage of foul language. It is strongly recommended that children do not read this story.

This story is told from ProtoMan's first person perspective and is narrated by him.
This story takes place inside the Ruby Spears cartoon universe.

The following takes place during the second season of the Mega Man cartoon show, before "Bro Bots"

The year is 20X2.

Another night, another mission failed.
I don't know who's to blame... My little brother, Mega Man, or my inventor, Dr. Wily.
Either way, the missions have become bigger and bigger recently, and so have the failures.
Tonight was a big failure... how big? I don't even walk to talk about, that's how big!
Of course, Wily takes it upon himself to blame me for losing tonight...
Yeah, sure!
He said I, the best fuckin' fighter he's got in his army, blew it for him... but not all of those stupid rustbuckets we've got like GutsMan and Cut Man!
No, it's all the fault of the one bot who knows what the fuck he's doing!
(By the way, I'm in a really bad mood. And when I'm in a bad mood, I cuss.)
And, of course, Wily won't blame himself... he likes himself too much.
So, all the way back to the fortress, he doesn't say a thing... which is fine by me. The less I have to hear that dumb-ass accent of his, the better.
But, when we get back here, that's when he chews me out. He calls me every name in the book and never apologizes for it...
he just eventually cools down when he's finished. I know I'm on good terms with him whe he calls me "My Boy"... if he doesn't, I know I'm still on his shit list.
When he yells at me, sometimes I just stand there and take it like a good little soldier... sometimes I yell back at him.
Tonight, I yelled back.
He doesn't like that very much... sometimes he'll threaten to hurt me with weapons and pain programs that he has personally created, but he hasn't done that yet.
He usually ends up chewing me out even more when I yell at him.
The other robots get it easy compared to me, and that's because I'm the best, so I'm expected to be nothing less than the best.
I don't have guts though to admit it to anybody... but, when Wily says these things to me... it hurts...
it hurts every time.
It hurts because everything I do, I do it to impress him.
In the early days, (back before we started recruiting genies and lion men,) it was pretty easy to impress Wily... but, now I can't help but feel like I don't impress him as much anymore.
I've found myself getting angry with him on a frequent basis now, and not only when we fail the missions.
But, I don't let it bother me... yeah... if I keep tellin' myself that, maybe I'll believe it.
There are times when I think I don't need that old coot anyway... but, where the hell else am I gonna go? Thomas Light's lab?
HA! Not likely! So, it looks like I'm stuck here

I've taken it upon myself to ignore the psychotic ramblings of my great leader Dr. Wily and make my way back to my own cozy little private hell known as My Room.
If I hold both my arms out to the sides, I can almost touch the walls with both of my hands... plush living, huh?
I crash on my flat, cheap-as-hell, piece of shit matress (no springs, mind you) and adjust my equally cheap-ass raggedy blanket... complete
with holes in the bottom.
At least I'll say this about the bed and blanket... at least they don't smell.
Unlike Wily's, I'm sure... his room has that "Old Man Smell" to it.
The moment I think about smell, I regret it, because the fortress still reeks of the putrid shit that Wily was eating today before we began the
mission, so any feelings of hunger I had when we got back here don't exist anymore... Really, that shit smelled like piss and probably tasted like
a bowl of warm spit soup...
in fact, I would not be surprised if it was warm spit soup!
I grab a nearby energy can, pop it open and begin chugging it down as I reflect on how badly the mission went tonight, and mainly my little brother...
the energy can is lukewarm. I'm sure my brother probably gets his ice cold... the spoiled brat!

Tonight, him and I battled again, and like countless other times, I tried to convince him to come join me on my side.
Do you think he accepted?
Fuck no!
It's just like all the times I've asked him to turn... he always says no. However, he's been here several times before and the living conditions
here are reason enough for him to reject Wily.
I place my free hand on my chest, right where he blasted me tonight, and my armor is still lightly scorched black from the shot.
Let me tell you, when we fight, we fucking fight.
And when he blasts me, he doesn't try to stun me with weak shots... he hits me with powerful blasts... and it hurts every time.
Doesn't he know who I am?
I'm not one of these idiotic scrap heaps that he battles like fuckin' ElecMan... I'm his own brother!
How the hell can he do that to me?
Bad guys have feelings too, you know!
From the beginning of this damn war, I've always offered that titanium blue prick a chance to join me... a chance for us to be brothers!
Hell, I'd even offer our sister a chance to join us if she just listen to me. Unlike Mega Man, I know Roll hates my guts. She doesn't even
acknowledge me as her brother... that hurts every time too.

Dr. Wily wants control of the world... but, what I want is for my bro to be here with me.
Ever since I first met him, before he wore that dorky blue armor (Really, bro... blue? Really? Why don't you wear black? It looks cooler...
where was I?... oh, yeah), I've dreamed of the two of us teaming together and kicking all sorts of ass!
Nobody would be able us if we were together... I know it.
Imagine all of the human girls we could get... a bot can dream, can't he?
... dreaming... that's what I've been doing a lot lately.
I dream that one day, my little brother will finally say "You know what? Fuck it!" and join me... that way, I don't have to fight him anymore...
because I don't want to fight him anymore.
Don't get me wrong. I can beat him! He's always gotten lucky!...
but, I don't want to fight my own brother anymore.
But, I'll probably be stuck fighting him forever... he doesn't want to have a brother relationship with me... would he blast me if he did?
Everybody thinks I hate my brother and that I want to kill him.
I'll destroy his ass if I have to... only if I have to... but I won't like it.
But, I don't hate my little brother.. not one damn bit.
He's my brother... I lo...

I lov...

Goddammit! I can't say it!

Every time I try to admit how much I lov...

I can't fucking say it!

Maybe it's something in my programming or maybe it's just because I'm a bad guy, but or some reason, I can't tell somebody, no matter who it is, how much I lo... care about them.

and it hurts every time.

Authors notes:
Yeah, this is pretty short. But, I thought it would be interesting to get a glimse of Proto's angst.
Please leave a review, if you wish. There are more Mega stories coming.