Ignorance isn't always necessarily bliss.
By: Michelle Bonner (Ravenfyre)
Disclaimer and Author's note: These characters do not belong to moi, tear, sniffle Baroness Orczy created them first...Sobs and the song belongs to Linkin Park. pays homage to the band Got to love them. Enjoy my best fic yet, and my first song fic. Hopefully you can see what I did without me realizing I was doing it...The verses of the song are mucho important to what's going on in the story, but not always in the same context. I leave you with that. evil smirk TTFN
Warning: Slash....Slash and hey did I mention Slash?!
I am
A little bit of loneliness
A little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints
But I can't help the fact
That everyone can see these scars
Percy stood at the window, looking out, avoiding the inevitable. Andrew was talking to him; Percy just ignored him, or tried to at least.
"Are you listening to me? Percy?" He let out a heavy sigh. "Of course you're not. What else is new?"
"I thought you were leaving." He stated with a lack of emotion in his voice. It would take him all of his strength to fight the battle raging within his heart.
"No, I won't leave this time."
I am
What I want you to want
What I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do
I can't convince you
To just believe this is real
Percy bowed his head and closed his eyes. 'Walk away, for once in your damned life, just go.' He thought to himself. 'If you don't I will not be able to win this battle. Please if you value me, honor me, and just walk away.'
"I won't leave you like this. I want to know why you are acting like this. It has been going on long enough."
"Who are you to say? I will do what I damn well please. I am an adult a dignified one at that. Tell me...Andrew, why are you still here?" He forced himself to turn and look at him. He tried to avoid the eyes, the ones he could so easily get lost in.
So I
Let go
Watching you
Turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here
Cause you're all I've got
"This will be rather forward, Percy, but I can no longer hide behind my mask. I love you and always have. I can no longer see you treat yourself this way."
"And what way would that be, Ffoulkes?"
"From Andrew to Ffoulkes...distancing yourself from me? I have a question for you. Do you love me? Do you even care for me? I tell you Percy, I swear, at times I can tell and then others...you turn your emotions off and become as unreadable as a wall. Why do you distance yourself?"
His heart ached and screamed at him. 'Tell the truth you imbecile. And you call yourself the Scarlet Pimpernel? The Pimpernel isn't afraid of anything, not even love.' He shook his head as if to remove the thoughts from his head. 'Shut Up! Shut up!' But that is where the problem lay. He couldn't hit a switch and turn off his emotions, he was never able to. He slammed his fist down against the table in front of him.
"Damn it Andrew! Why can't you leave well enough alone? Yes, I care for you, hell you know that. Just...leave it alone...please."
I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal
This damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored.
"No! I can't do that, not anymore. I have held my tongue too long. Just tell me what it is."
"I wish I could. I would want nothing more...but I can't."
Andrew made a fist at his side. "Damn you for being so damned stubborn! I wish I could get angry with you, but I can't. Why do I react this way to you? Why do I torture myself so, only to be disappointed." He bowed his head and turned his back on Percy.
Percy reached his hand out as if to touch him, but pulled it back, semi-reluctantly.
I am
A little bit insincere
A little unconfident
'Cause you don't understand
I do what I can
But sometimes I don't make sense
"I-" Percy sighed in defeat. "I know my emotions are mostly closed off from all humanity, but it's something I must do. I wish I could make you understand...I do, but I just can't."
Andrew turned slowly, ever so slowly. "Can you try? For me?"
Percy drew in a breath and closed his eyes.
I am
What you never want to say
But I've never had a doubt
But it is like no matter what I do
I can't convince you
For once just to hear me out
Andrew looked down, Percy wouldn't come around. He never did. What was he hiding? What was he protecting?
So I
Let go
Watching you
Turn your back as you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here cause you're all that I got
Percy looked up at him, and took a step forward. "Sir Andrew you are a damnable fool, but I know you will never subside." He stated jovially.
Andrew looked at him more intensely. "Sir?"
"Shut up and listen or I may never be able to tell you."
Andrew shut his mouth and looked on with amiable curiosity.
"This isn't easy for me, this means taking down all walls, and being vulnerable...I hate being vulnerable."
"For the love of God, what is it?!" Andrew interrupted impatiently.
"I love you damn it! Okay?!" 'Sorry Margot...so terribly sorry.'
"What?"
"You heard me."
"I am not sure I heard you correctly." Andrew stated a smile on his lips.
"If you are going to joke at my expense I will walk out of this room, and never look back."
Andrew stepped in closer. "I heard you...bloody glad I did...Why have you been holding it in, for so long?"
"Because I am a married man! I love Margot with all my heart but it appears I love you more. I can't break her heart, I just can't."
"Who says you have to?"
"But I can't break yours either." He stated softly, completely distraught.
"Then don't."
"Are you suggesting I play both sides?" He asked a bit taken a back.
"Not like you haven't before. Besides, you will need to keep up appearances if you want to stay a distinguished Englishman."
"Baronet." He corrected.
"Right, whatever." He smiled and closed the space between them. "Shut up and kiss me."
Percy smiled, a smile that could melt anyone's heart, his dashing and sensual smile, the one all the ladies love. He leaned in and succeeded in what his heart has longed him to do for so long.