Half Full

by Of Quirky Excellence

Maeve Amell tossed and turned in her bedroll restlessly. It had been a week since the First Enchanter and several other Circle mages who were lucky enough to have survived the event of Uldred's possession had conducted a ritual to free Connor from the demon's grasp. The Grey warden had persuaded Irving to allow Jowan to be the one to enter the Fade and kill the demon. He had been successful, and the boy was freed from the demon, but of course the guards had whisked Jowan away and back down to the Arl's dungeons as soon as he awoke, and Maeve hadn't gotten a chance to speak to her former best friend. This caused her to be frequently depressed and anxious. Alistair had tried to speak to her a few times about it, but she had only snapped at him and treated him coldly.

The Grey Wardens were on their way back to Redcliffe with the urn of Sacred Ashes. Maeve had seen an apparition of Jowan in the gauntlet and he-no, it, had given her an amulet with the symbol of the Chantry on the front. but on the back, there was a shiny mirror, but instead of her own reflection, when she looked into it very deeply, she could, just for a moment at a time, see a glimpse of Jowan's face, smiling and encouraging her. She always wore this amulet of Reflection, and it was always under her robes, close to her heart.

Leliana woke her up at dawn. Maeve had tears in her eyes. "Maeve, you've been crying! What's wrong, cherie?" asked the bard.

The Warden, whose ginger colored hair was just a shade darker than Leliana's and blue eyes shone brightly in the moonlight that crept through the tent's door, sat up and sniffled. She brushed a few tears away with the back of her hand.

"I had a dream Jowan was made Tranquil…it's the third time this week." she cried.

"Oh, ma Cherie!" Leliana hugged the Grey Warden and Maeve cried into the other redhead's shoulder. Alistair walked into the tent after a few moments. He looked silently at the two women, one of which was sobbing softly into the shoulder of the other.

"As much as I hate to…interrupt," he said. "We should really be heading back to Redcliffe. We're only a few hours away."

Maeve looked up and sniffled. "Give me five minutes and I'll be out." she spoke softly.

His expression softened a little bit and he nodded. "I'll be waiting with the others. We've packed up the campsite and we're ready to go."

Leliana and Maeve waited for the former Templar to take his leave and then they got fully dressed in their armor and robes. Before heading out, Leliana asked, "Do you want to talk about Jowan?"

"Why?" replied Maeve sharply. "Talk does nothing. She placed her magical staff in its usual spot, strapped to the back of her mage robes.

"I just thought you might like to…the two of you were so close…" Leliana trailed off.

"Were?!" Maeve raised her voice a little more than she'd intended. "We were inseparable, we were like two souls joined to one! I…I love him." Then she started to cry again as the truth came out at long last, this time more loudly, showing her true distress.

"Oh, Maeve…" the bard went to put a hand on the mage's shoulder to console her.

"I've always loved him!" Maeve cried. "And now we'll never have a chance…he will be dead, or worse, he'll be Tranquil, and there's nothing in the world I can do to save him!" Then she lowered her voice. "If he is taken from me I swear I shall never love again."

Leliana sighed and hugged the younger girl again. "He deserves your love, Maeve. And he deserves a chance to make his life right in the eyes of the Maker."

Maeve sniffled and nodded slightly. "But what can I do? Jowan is doomed by the Chantry, condemned by the Templars, if the arl's men don't kill him first, and who knows what in the eyes of the Maker!"

Leliana paused, deep in thought. "Wait, couldn't you make him a Grey Warden?"

"You mean conscript him? Do you think Arl Eamon would even allow it? I know Alistair would never forgive me." Maeve said softly.

"Well, Arl Eamon has to allow it. The Grey Wardens can conscript anyone, can't they? Even a king or the Chantry could not deny them the Right of Conscription, correct?" Asked Leliana.

"I…suppose you're right!" Maeve said, but then she went pale, a look of dread appearing on her face. "But I don't want to put Jowan through the Joining! It's agonizingly painful even if you survive, and the Nightmares are something I wouldn't wish on anyone!"

Leliana sighed. "I see where you're coming from, but in case the Arl refuses to let him go, I wouldn't eliminate the Right of Conscription as a last resort. It's better than being made Tranquil, no?"

"I suppose it is." Maeve concluded. She wiped away the last of her tears and they moved outside. Her Mabari, Mouse, named after the demon she'd met in the Fade, greeted her by trotting up and nuzzling her arm. Alistair and Sten packed up their tent and belongings.

Then the Wardens led their companions along the way towards Redcliffe castle. It was about a three hour journey to the castle. When the group arrived, Bann Teagan was waiting with Isolde and Connor in the main hall. Everything sort of went by in a blur as Alistair told the handsome Bann that they had the Ashes. Then they walked up the stairs. Leliana and Morrigan walked behind Maeve and Alistair ahead, with Teagan and Isolde, who held the hand of young Connor, anxiously as they all made their way to the Arl's bedroom which was up several long flights of stairs.

There were a few Circle Mages waiting for them when they reached the door to the Arl's bedroom. Teagan and Isolde entered the room, followed by everyone else, including the four mages from the circle. Maeve did not bother to look at their faces to see if she recognized any of them from her years as a Circle apprentice. She had been a talented apprentice, and she and another girl, Fen'Asha Surana, an elven apprentice, had been Irving's star could teach them anything, except how to get along with each other. The one link between them had been Jowan, who had been a good friend to both of them, and often kept the peace between them. Fen'Asha had betrayed them, however, and informed Irving of their plan to destroy Jowan's phylactery and run away, thus causing Maeve to hate Surana even more.

There were so many emotions rushing through Amell's head as they revived the Arl. When he began to stir, all eyes were on him, even the sea-blue eyes of the red-haired Grey Warden. The formerly comatose nobleman would be deciding the fate of the man she loved, and she was not eager to conscript Jowan unless she absolutely had no choice. She watched in bitter silence as Isolde fussed over her husband and she got a pit in her stomach. Why was this sniveling, heartless shrew allowed to be with the man she loved, even though she was nearly as responsible for his illness as Jowan was?

Maeve frowned at the pair and turned away. Her priorities, she knew, were to save Ferelden and end the Blight, but it was hardly fair. She was eighteen years old, had barely been out of the Tower a few months and she had far too many other things-normal, eighteen-year-old girl things, to worry about. She was hardly world-saving material.

The others didn't really notice as she withdrew from the group and she slunk off, out of the Arl's room and down the flights of stairs the way they came. The troubled Warden made her way past guards and servants on the first floor, then she entered the final, gloomy stair well that led to the dungeon. Attempting to slip past a guard who appeared to be sleeping on the job, she nearly tripped over the poor idiot's boots.

"You blasted abomination!" she cried as she caught herself on a chain hanging from the wall of the dungeon's corridor. She'd only said this because it was common slang to call somebody an abomination. It was the most offending word she could think of at that very moment. She immediately regretted her choice of words as she heard a startled gasp and the shuffling of exhausted feet and a chain coming from a cell.

His cell.