Phil's POV:
September 23rd, 2014
Everybody has secrets, some that they won't even tell their best friend. For me, the last statement is true. I have a secret that I'll refuse to tell another living soul, even to my death bed (Which I greatly hope is fast approaching). The only evidence of it will probably by this next sentence. I'm gay. Yes, the one that you all watch weekly, Is gay. It's been like this for a while, but of course nobody really knows.
But goddammit I love Dan so much. He is my 'everything'. I honestly could not live a day without his presence. He's the only one who really keeps me going each day. I wish he was the same 'way'…
After writing in my journal, I set it aside; well hidden under stacks of unread books and fan letters. I put my ear against the wall to Dan's room to make sure he was still occupied by making a video. I heard faint mumbling of his casual videos. I walked to my dresser and opened the bottom drawer. I fumbled through some band shirts and jeans until I found my blades.
Yes, I cut; At this point, cutting is the only way to release some of this pain. I grabbed the newest and sharpest blade and crept to the bathroom, hoping not to add any background noise to Dan's video. I Shut the door behind me and curled up in the bathtub. Since it was a shared bathroom, the tub was the easiest place for me to ruin my wrists seeing as you could just rinse away the evidence.
I sliced the blade across my wrist several times until the crimson blood came flooding out. I rinsed the blade under the warm running water and sat in the filling bathtub wondering what to do next.
Dan's POV:
I finish editing my "12 Year old Dan's website video" And hit upload. I sit back in my chair as I feel my stomach feel empty. I switch on my phone to look at the time. "3:43, I shouldn't be hungry yet" I mumble to myself. I hear the bathtub filling in the bathroom. "That's weird; Phil never really uses the bathroom for any reason until night. I get off my ass and knock on the bathroom door. "Hey Phil?" No response "Would you like to play some portal?" I ask
I hear him fumbling around on the other side of the door. "No thanks" He struggles. "What's wrong?"- The room goes silent for a bit, as If he were pondering, "Nothing!" He half yells as I hear him immerse himself into the bath. I've been quite worried about Phil lately. He stays in his room by himself increasingly more nowadays, and the only video he has shot in the past couple of week was the home page welcome for the Dan and Phil shop.
I begin making some pancakes for the two of us. I switch on the stove and measure the flour and milk. Even once the pancakes finish cooking, I wait at least fifteen minutes for Phil to emerge from the bath. Once he does I call for him "Phil I made some pancakes" Knowing it is his favorite meal.
He walks past me with no interest at all "I'm good" He says bluntly, clenching something between his fingers. He goes into his room and doesn't come out for the rest of the night. Another thing that worries me about him is that he's been progressively eating fewer and fewer meals. Is he going through something?