Title: Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Summary: After school, Draco and Blaise, best friends, place a bet. Each has to seduce a woman. The first to get it done wins. Simple enough, right? Well their targets don't like this plan at all. Soon enough, Ginny and Hermione, their targets find out and decide to play a little game of their own. Loosely based on the movie.

Chapter One

Blaise grinned at the waitress as she set down thier order. The girl flushed and danced off with a lack of grace that made Blaise glad she had already delivered their drinks.

He leaned forward to inspect the frothy coffees and handed the nearest one to his companion and best friend, Draco Malfoy.

Draco nodded a quick thanks and wrapped his fingers around the styrofoam cup. The small shop they were in doubled as both a cafe and a rare book store. The books, Blaise knew, were mostly magic oriented and therefore less sought after by Muggles. Still, the cafe portion kept the owners in pretty good business.

"So, it's good to see you again." Blaise began. "How was Santa Barbra?"

"Warm." Draco replied with a theatric shudder. "It's easy to forget just how cold and damp this place can be."

Blaise chuckled, "I've missed you too. But what's your plan now? You know half the wizarding community thinks your dead and the other half is certain you're in hiding, waiting to become the next Dark Lord."

Draco winced, "I wonder who came up with that rumor," He replied dryly.

"Surprisingly enough, Neville Longbottom."

Draco raised his eyebrows appreciatively. "I have missed a lot. When did he become reliable?"

"Right after he saved Harry Potter. Just after the war, when they were rounding up the remaining Death Eaters they deemed threatening, one, your aunt Bella, I believe, tried to kill Potter. Longbottom was there and managed to stop her. It was all over the news. Longbottom became a hero and when Potter started his investigation firm, he asked Longbottom to join."

Draco shook his head wonderingly, "You disappear for a measly five years and everything goes to hell in a hand basket. What else happened?"

"What didn't happen? Pansy married right out of school and then proceeded to torment her husband."

"Who did she marry?"

"Brace yourself, Oliver Wood."

Draco, who had been in the process of sipping off his foam, choked. "The Gryffindor Quidditch Captain?" He stuttered.

Blaise nodded, handing him a napkin, "The real surprise is that they actually get along. Sure she irritates him to hell, but she has a soft spot for him and before you know it, he's charmed her into some corner to make out. They have thier first kid on the way. Let's see. Theodore Nott and Daphne are an item. He's a fishing captain now and she chartered his boat a while back. That was that. Millicent took up nursing. She's happy now, go figure and she's actually lost weight. Your former minions work security in Knock Turn Alley. Who else did you want to know about? That covers most of Slytherin."

"What about that Ravenclaw broad Potter was always mooning over?"

"Cho Chang? Her, Angelina Johnson and Katie Bell all signed onto the Masked Chariots. You probably haven't heard of them. THey're a pretty small group funded mostly by, you guessed it, Harry Potter. Luna Lovegood, that dreamy little blonde tart has been known to haunt Potter and Longbottom's firm. She's the editor in chief of the Quibbler and she covers all of their cases. Everybody knows she's going to end up with one of them. Just a matter of which."

"What about the Weasley brood? I know they didn't just drop off the face of the earth."

"Much as you might wish it, no. The eldest married and they have a couple of kids now. They spend most of their time in Egypt but we still see them about. The second one... Charlie, I think. He has been known to see every game of the Masked Chariots but no one can quite guess which of the girls he's after. Percy is pretty high up in the Ministry and, hold on to your hats, he's been trying to keep rumors of your being the next Dark Lord, to a minimal. Curious, no? Let's see now. There's the twins who are doing wonderfully with their joke shop. THey also run a small time protection agency. Doing pretty good, I might add. Now brace yourself for this one. Ron married Hermione Granger."

Draco frowned, "That's not exactly surprising."

"This part is. They divorced a year later."

Draco leaned forward, intrigued, "Oh? Do tell."

"Apparently they just couldn't handle it together. They split on friendly terms and no hard feelings."

"What about the girl? Jenny? Gerry?"

"Ginny." Blaise nodded, noting his friend's interest. Blaise was always looking for a spot of good fun and he couldn't quite help himself. "Nothing there. More or less like she disappeared after school. She's not dating Potter or any others that I can tell. Occasionally Lovegood mentions her in an article, but rarely anything more."

Draco leaned back. "That's most interesting."

"Quite," Blaise agreed. "Since we're both here, could I interest you in a game?"

(A/N: Your treat my friends! A new fic! I slept in this morning, so you only get this one update today. Still, you'll get three tomorrow!