Author's note: Right this is gonna take some imagination on your part… basically my idea came from me thinking about what makes people bad, I was thinking about Snape at the time. But kinda shifted to Bella I love how next to ol' Voldie shes basically the epitome of evil and a woman at that.
So as a child her parents went over to the death eaters n that changed them (not sayin they were ever goodie two shoes but…) then she was all confused and left to find her own path.
She's desperate to be noticed n for power and sleeps with Snape (just an Idea I got from DH where voldie says something bout him soon finding better women than lily n the way Bella n Snape interact) has a Son n he dies a pointless and young death in battle then it sort of goes backwards and the conclusion is that she's dolaly ….anyway I'm going to shut up thought I needed to explain it a bit but think im making it worse… :-/ (p.s don't think too much about how this actually fits into the authentic story line I was messing around havin a bit of fun n forgot 2 worry about Hogwarts etc but say we skip that part, so childhood bits b4 hogwarts n everything else as a young adult?)
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The din of the battle roared and the stench of blood filled flaring nostrils, seeping through the skull and implanting its sour presence upon many a parched tongue. The ground flowed as an infinite mire, mixing panic with carnage where the brave stumbled in their haste to retreat and the foolish plunged forward in their rush to greet their passing.
In amongst the confusion there knelt a woman and upon her knees lay a young boy, his death was close and his breathing laboured, and for the first time since she had given him life, his mother felt regret, sorrow and love for her son.
Ambition had blinded her and now her mission, through him, was ended and an overwhelming sense of loss was descending upon her heart, the cruel consequence of her dealings was only now at its culmination, revealing itself, and as she sat in the mud holding her child in her arms she cried, and only ever then with the release of his last breath did Mordred witness his mother's love.
She lifted her proud pale face to the moon, her tears reflecting all his glory, and instead ridicule she could heave sworn that approval, or at least tolerance shone form him as he bore witness to his queens triumph.
Her story was full of hardship and neglect, a tale of love lost and trust betrayed. In those rare moments of clarity Bellatrix would think back and cry and yearn and yet there was nothing she or any one else could do, for past is past, the world had deceived her. You must hear her story and decide for your self what is good and what is bad, you must search for the truth.
Looking past the reflective window Bella could see a perfect night sky, clouds like angels cradles drifted past obscuring a bright moon which had shone brightly in her eyes her only companion. The whole world seemed to be sleeping but she could find no rest. Since moonrise, she had, in a small voice talked through all the tales which her mother had told to her on warm sleepy nights.
Legends of wonderful adventures of beautiful princess, wicked witches and handsome, brave knights; these however did little to settle her, she was sure she remembered the endings incorrectly. Bella's young mind reasoned that for all these tales to end 'happily ever after' was highly improbable and for the most part decidedly impossible.
And yet she couldn't help wanting the impossible, she longed to be woken from this fearsome reality by a charming prince, by her saviour. She remembered the time in the not too distant past where her nights were full of happy dreams, with golden beds covered in silken sheets and fluffy pillows made soft with down.
Thoughts of soft lullabies forced Bella's small voice out into her cold stone prison, and brokenly she sang a song strangled with tears as her mouth barely mimed the first words before a shallow whisper emerged "sleep now I watch o'er you…t-the moon is here and the s-stars adore you…" the tune eluded her and far from bringing comfort the disjointed song only made her feel more forlorn and alone. Tears spilt soaking the dirty face of a small girl as she despaired; finally she fell in to an exhausted slumber one filled with dreams. Admittedly they were little worse than the night mare that her life had become, her parents choice's had changed her world so much, they had drained away the colour and left nothing but dark loveless shadows.
It was there in the dark, cold mansion that she had once called home, that Bellatrix hatched her plan, there that her schemes and hatreds surfaced through the walls of her mind, she heard the truth, she searched it out, and it set her free.
There in that abysmal prison she grew untainted by the influence of man, deprived and alone but not lonely, never lonely for there her mind came to life, there horrors that no sane child would have dreamt came into being. And as she sank deeper and deeper in to her insanity the plot fell into place.
Her revenge seized its perilous form. She would make them notice her, they wouldn't ignore this. She had witnessed deeds of such ferocity executed in the dark lords name, she had heard the fear he could inspire and she yearned for power.
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She lay, naked and wide legged, across the covers of the bed. The boy, sallow skinned with hair as dark as her own, lay sprawled over her in the heavy abandonment of pleasure. His head was between her breasts, he was not asleep, but the next thing to it, his face close and quiet, his blind mouth searching her flesh as a puppy nuzzles for its mother's nipple.
Bella held his head cradled, and about her body was the same heavy languor, but her face showed none of the tenderness that the gesture seemed to express. And none of the pleasure. It held a secret exultation as fierce as ever seen in a warriors face in battle; the gilt-green eyes were wide and fixed on something invisible beyond the dark; and the small mouth smiled, a smile somewhere between triumph and contempt.
A bitter wind snatched at her ebony hair, hauling the heavy mass out behind her as she ran. She was following no path, plunging through the shadows. Vainly attempting to hide away, to disappear, but the darkness offered no cover and her attempt proved futile, for even the trees bore witness. Their emaciated limbs reaching for her, mauling her flesh, engraving offence in to her very essence; scarring her lest she forget the treachery which she had accomplished this night, yet still she plunged on, skeletal hands groped at the filmy gown that hung limply upon her form; concealing nothing, and at the tresses that hung behind her, until she was ensnared. Cloth and flesh clung together held in place by thorns that ripped at flesh until blood stained her soft skin and dyed her hair black.
The pale moon a great silver orb observed her in silent abhorrence, scorning her in his superciliousness. Like a judge he held his high position, as well as a great empathy for the ill-fated individual unfortunate enough to be debauched, and yet averse to the idea of assistance.
Abruptly Bella ceased her struggle; her intense emerald orbs met and held the gaze of the moon. Her eyes narrowed, and a violent loathing exploded in her breast, in a deadly whisper she began "Then you improve on me," her lips curled and her eyes were wild, the beautiful face contorted with revulsion and her tone rose still ominously calm she resumed her tirade "Instruct me! For I shall certainly follow! Mould me and carve me till my very heart doth bleed and I shall hold mysilence, your willing vessel!" She flung her arms out above her, her upturned face bathed in moonlight as her judge watched her unblinkingly.
His gaze was full of scrutiny, he was trying her, testing her, and finally he found her wanting and coldly rejected her, disappearing behind a blanket of thick cloud. She fell to her knees and a heart wrenching howl tore from her soul, filling the air like that of an abandoned wolf, but no pack would flock to her relief. She was alone, desolate and unsure. A mere child in a world of colossal monsters.Ugly and snarling filled to the brim with hatred and boiling over with rage.Repulsed by any pure of heart, they were determined to sculpt all in to their form. Hideous and vicious, they would break any who stood against them.
Tears spilt down her perfect fact burning hot tracks over cold skin, the moon peered out from its hide away causing the tears to glisten silver in his light. Bella glared hating the silent observer, she would never again be alone, she had sealed her fate, and she no longer lived for her self, but for vengeance and power she would have madness as her constant companion.
The battle had begun. And she felt terribly inadequate. Again she looked to the moon for satisfaction her desperate words echoing through the still night "why do you curse me with my womanhood? This weakness of my mothers! Blindness in this world of men!" taking a deep breath she trembled and sobbed, her wide questioning eyes searched the moon; her voice became distant, timid "Who cares about me? about the choice I make, Better had I not been born."
Her shoulders squared and her voice became stronger, surer "No…no I shall show them all my femininity will turn out well my child will know me, and we shall have command"
Her wet eyes darted in madness; grinning wolfishly she began to laugh a cold, harsh laugh that rang with insanity. Over head the grey clouds intensified in their menace, conspiring in some secret dark deed. Her cry of hysteria abruptly changed tone; an intense shout of agony escaped her soft lips. Her eyes widened and her scream caught before turning savage she tore at her flesh with clawed hands. And she screamed, she screamed in anger in pain and in despair.
She tore at soft pink lips; they split and were stained crimson by her blood. Her body arched as her heart ached, and her limbs stretched out in agony. She screamed and wept until the tears that had made her weak ran dry. The sky poured out its heavy burden soaking an exhausted Bellatrix. She fell limply to the ground, where her shoulders began to shake softly, not in anguish but in elation. And so there she lay laughing alone, with only the moon to bare witness to her lunacy.
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So there you are I enjoyed writing it at any rate, sorry if it left you baffled was unsure how it would come across to someone who didn't know what I was thinking, bit nervous about posting it it nearly stayed hidden in my documents, hope it wasn't too wishy washy (know it probably was) I appreciate you taking the time (and effort in this case) to read it.