DISCLAIMER: Nurarihyon no Mago and its characters are not mine. Otherwise, I would've screwed it up one way or another.

Title: Tsurara And Rule 34

Genre: General

Rating: T

Characters/Pairings: Rikuo/Tsurara

Summary: In which Tsurara heard something Rikuo never even discussed with his mom. And obviously, he was the first person to be asked. Rated T for mildly suggestive themes. ONESHOT.

Italics – youkai!Rikuo, thoughts, means of communication with human!Rikuo

'with apostrophe' – human!Rikuo, thoughts, means of communication with youkai!Rikuo

Tsurara And Rule 34

'Ah. Peace and quiet. It's quite refreshing, that after all those fights.' The young Nura clan leader muttered as he felt his sore muscles relax. He knew it was a good idea to take a dip in one of their clan's local hot springs!

I'd rather go to a public co-ed hot spring, at least there's scenery there to look at other than mountains.

Rikuo turned red, knowing exactly what the other side of his persona meant, 'Oh, just shut up.'

What? I know you'd like that too... see? Even the little you down there agrees with me.

"Keep your perverted thoughts to yourself!" Rikuo shouted at the top of his lungs, apparently bothered by the way his other self thinks.

What? My thoughts are your thoughts. I'm just more vocal about it.

"That is not true!" The young Nura clan leader then found his self, standing, without much covering his… and the ever protective Tsurara, with an ice spear in hand, in front of him. It took them quite a while and some blinks to fully take a grasp of the situation they were in. That and Tsurara's eyes inevitably stared at the wholeness that was Rikuo. Taking the feverishly blushing faces of each other as cue, the two turned on opposite directions.

The yuki-onna's face was in deep shades of red, very much like her master, "Ri-Rikuo-sama…! I'm sorry! I thought you were being attacked…!"

"Ah, no… no…" he answered, stuttering. "I'm… uh… perfectly fine…!"

And his other self was simply entertained by this.

I wonder what would happen… if we switched right now…?

'DON'T YOU DARE…!'

Hahahaha, what's wrong? It's not like I'm going to seduce her into submission, you know?

'OH SHIT. He was definitely gonna do that! He was definitely gonna do that! I must make sure Tsurara won't fall prey for this… perverted youkai! (1) I must DO something! Like now!'

"I… I'm going to take my leave, uh, now, Rikuo-sama… I mean, there's nothing wrong right?" Tsurara stammered, although it has more to do with her burying her face in her sleeve.

"Yeah. That's a great idea, Tsurara."

'Thank you, Tsurara!' he sighed with relief as he heard the door close.

You do know that you'll be seeing each other naked in time right? Oh wait, yeah, I mean, you do know I'll be seeing her naked, and she'll be seeing me naked in time.

"Just shut up, okay!"

Someone is having pervy thoughts… oh. Right. Why haven't I thought about that?

Rikuo felt shivers run up and down his spine. His other self was thinking of something… and whatever it was… it's definitely outrageous.

Next day, right during breakfast, Tsurara asked Rikuo something he never even discussed with his mother. Or even his grandfather. Or Kana. Or Kiyotsugu. Or any human in their school.

"A-anou… Rikuo-sama?"

Rikuo turned to his now very flustered aide, "Yeah?"

"What is Rule 34?"

And Rikuo unceremoniously spurt out the milk he was drinking, with the unfortunate Karasu Tengu receiving most of the milk reject.

'How the heck did something as… perverted as that managed to get to Tsurara? Not that she was not perverted, wait… I am not thinking that she's perverted! There was no way that Tsurara would know about this certain rule without an outside source.'

You sure? I think she not that innocent, since you know, she did become bothered by an indirect kiss… and you weren't even bothered about it.

'That… is beside the point! I'm just not concerned with sharing ice cream!'

Exactly my point. I mean, if you, who practically is a normal boy as anyone could get, oblivious as you are, who gets… excited by Rule 34, did not mind the indirect kiss and she did…

'STOP POLLUTING MY MIND WITH YOUR PERVERTED IDEAS!'

They're not just my ideas. How many times do I have to remind you, they're your ideas too.

"Rikuo-sama?" she titled her head, wondering why her master paled so much, with milk still dripping from his mouth. "Is there anything wrong?"

"N-no. Of course, there's nothing wrong-"

'Of course, there IS something wrong! Starting with this other me!'

"I just thought to ask you, Rikuo-sama, I mean, you're the one who's more familiar with all these technologies than any of us…"

"Hm? What's that Rule 34 you're talking about?" asked Ao, in between his eating, seemingly interested with the young master and yuki-onna's exchange.

"Nothing, really," Rikuo answered, "It's just a stupid rule… anyway," he turned to his yuki-onna, "Who told you about that rule?"

"That's strange, don't you remember, Rikuo-sama?" Tsurara gave him a confused look, "You told me I invoked Rule 34-"

Rikuo paled. 'What the…!'

"-and if I wasn't invoking Rule 34, I would invoke Rule 35 sooner or later-"

'I said that… no wait… if I don't remember saying anything like that then…!'

"-because you were invoking Rule 41 on me."

With that, it rained blood in the Nura Main House. Not from blood shed, but from a massive nosebleed that their young master had. (2) Somewhere in his sub consciousness, someone was happily smoking on the weeping willow tree…

A/N: I wasn't quite sure if I should put this in M… but it's just too mild for me to put it there… -_- so yeah, I decided to put it on T. I know, OOC and all... I'm trying too much, but what the heck, please tell me what you think about this! =)

(1)You do realize you're talking about yourself, eh, Rikuo?

(2) I just wanted to do this… hahaha…

Almost forgot to put (thanks to KoNan03), just in case someone didn't know about these rules... but really, who doesn't know about Rule 34? XD

RULE 34: There is porn of it. No exceptions.

RULE 35: If there is no porn of it. It WILL be made.

RULE 41: No matter what it is, it is SOMEONE's FETISH. No exceptions.