It had become a ritual of sorts. At first it was only on weekends, especially after particularly tough weeks, but then it became more frequent. Now, it was every week, good or bad. Nate would pound into Dan's pliant body, fucking out his anger and frustration. Dan didn't mind, it was what Nate needed and he understood that better than Nate did. Dan knew it wasn't the sex, it wasn't the roughness of the act, it was the connection.
As soon as Nate got back to his room, he would call the other man, if he wasn't already with him, and the moment they were in the room together, Nate would rush at him, pushing him down, back, to the wall, it didn't matter. He simply pushed, crushing their mouths together in a wild, violent meeting of teeth and tongues. He ground hard against the other, the press and pull of their covered cocks an unfulfilling burn. At first Nate would rip at Dan's clothing, tearing fabric, sending buttons flying carelessly; now their clothes were gone before Nate could dive in for a second punishing kiss, removed by the other man.
Nate never seemed to notice this, and he never questioned it. He just took it gratefully; lifting Dan up until the older man wrapped his legs around Nate's waist allowing him to take them wherever he wanted. Nate backed them toward the bed, harsh kisses shared between warring mouths accompanying their journey. Nate felt his legs hit the edge of the bed and he let himself fall, sitting, onto the bed, his hard, leaking cock sliding along the crease of Dan's arse.
For long moments they exchanged angry kisses, Dan knowing, understanding that Nate didn't want him compliant and relinquishing despite the ferocity of his actions. Dan would always follow Nate's lead in bed because he could never deny Nate anything, even himself… but that was merely what he told himself because it was what Nate wanted him to say; that it was Nate taking. In truth, he followed Nate to his bed because he wanted to. He loved Nate to his very core, his soul, his body; everything he had to give was Nate's and more. Not because it was what Nate wanted or needed or took, but because he loved him. He felt Nate shift, the hand on his back tightening to keep him firmly in place, and he knew Nate's other hand was reaching for the bottle he kept at his bedside.
Retrieving the bottle, Nate leaned back, pulling his lover with him, so that Dan was spread and exposed ready for whatever exquisite torment Nate had in mind.
With practiced skill Nate popped open the bottle and drizzled the liquid over the small of Dan's back and the older man felt the familiar feel as the fluid oozed into the tight space between his slightly spread cheeks. The sensation sent a jolt through Dan's body.
Nate tossed the bottle aside, letting his hands grab the soft flesh of Dan's arse, pulling his cheeks further apart almost violently.
Dan gasped in to their kiss as his body pushed down onto Nate's, trying to escape the onslaught; the movement only serving to provide tantalizing friction along his swollen cock. Suddenly the hands were gone from Dan's arse, instead rubbing blunt nails up and down his back in what under other circumstances would have been a soothing motion, but Nate never offered that kind of comfort, it would make this something other than what it was. It would change things. And Dan couldn't allow himself to think along those lines.
Soon enough, Nate's hands were back on Dan's arse, the fingers of one hand sliding freely between his legs, rubbing over his entrance and teasing at the skin behind his balls. He growled and bit Dan's lip eliciting a hiss from the older man.
Dan's hiss morphed into a sharp cry as a finger pushed hungrily into him; the burn flashing through him like a burst of fire. Moans began falling from his lips only to be swallowed by Nate's mouth as it plundered his. Within moments Nate's probing finger was joined by a second roughly thrust inside him next to the first. Together they wriggled and stretched creating a hot burn inside him, never giving his body a chance to adjust before they did some other trick or twist to widen him further.
When Nate pulled his fingers out to the tip and added a third without warning, the searing burn exploding slowly through him at the too sudden stretch caused Dan to scream into their relentless kiss even as he rocked back onto the intrusion. In perfect contradiction Nate began to run soothing lines along Dan's sweat coated back once again; the contrast was maddening, an entirely new form of agony.
Dan fought back the tears and questions Nate's actions raised, focusing all his energy on giving his lover what he needed.
After several minutes the harsh burn passed and became a throbbing ache. No sooner had the ache become bearable than Nate ripped his fingers from Dan's body, revelling in the whimper that travelled through Dan and seemingly into him. He shifted Dan up slightly, allowing his throbbing erection to slide more easily along the cleft of his arse, letting the tip of his cock press shallowly inside him before sliding back along his sensitive skin.
As his cock teased its tip just inside his lover, Nate sat up forcing Dan down onto his shaft. The tightening heat wrapping around him caused Nate to pull off their kiss, his breath becoming a deep moan against Dan's still open mouth as he pushed himself home.
Dan bit his lip to keep the sharp, pained cry from escaping his lips, Nate didn't need to know how much hurt he caused, he never meant that kind of pain and Dan knew it. He wrapped his arms around the younger boy, pulling him close as Nate rocked into him; resisting the urge to whisper soft words of comfort over his lover's flushed skin, words that would mingle with the droplets of sweat that poured slowly down Nate's cheek and neck, droplets that could have been tears for all their salty sweetness, but those were not the words Nate wanted to hear, nor was he ready to hear them, so Dan kept them to himself, hidden inside waiting for Nate to be ready.
Nate was oblivious to his lover's thoughts, focusing only on the here and now, the tightness around him, the way Dan gave as well as he got, the force and power that clashed every time they met like this, and it was what Nate needed to let the anger flow through him and his actions to keep it from consuming him wholly, on some level in the back of his mind Nate knew this and understood it, but he never let himself think it consciously. If he did it would make what he and Dan were doing mean something and he couldn't let it mean anything, not to him, it wasn't what he deserved, especially with the rough way he treated Dan almost nightly. Instead, he turned those almost feelings into something to fuel his angry fires making him drive more forcefully into him, willing Dan to hate him with every wild thrust.
With the greatest speed, Nate flipped Dan onto his back on the bed, plunging into him with greater force than before.
Beneath him Dan cried for his lover, knowing this was not him, merely a need, a way of dealing, coping. Dan knew Nate, his great love, his need to protect, his purity and righteousness, his beautiful blue eyes that bore into him as surely as his own eyes studied Nate in turn, he knew every scar that marred his body and every one that tore at his soul. Dan remembered all these things as his lover pounded into him unremorsefully, and when Nate came with a silent cry pumping and filling him, he held him that much tighter, giving him the security he craved, even if he didn't realize it.
And when Nate pulled out of him, rolling to the side, flat on his back, eyes screwed shut in a pained grimace, a single tear sliding down his cheek with something that sounded like 'thank you' drifting almost silently from his lips, Dan smiled and ghosted a breath of a kiss over his lips, before getting up and going back to his own place.
Those nights, after Dan left, Nate would roll over towards the spot where the older boy had lain, placing a hand against the rapidly cooling warmth letting his tears fall and pleas for forgiveness tumble from his lips as he cried. 'I love you,' the final words whispered from his lips before darkness surrounded him.