Lucius/Narcissa, oddness. Song is Semi-Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind that I can't get out of my head. Tell me if it sounds too melodramatic. Inspired by Liebling's Crimson, and as usual, I don't own the characters.
"What do you believe in?"
He glances sideways at her, startled, eyes narrowing. "Why would you ask a question like that?"
No answer, not really, and to tell the truth she didn't expect one. And she's been around him too long, because she doesn't give him an answer either. She looks out the window and tucks her hair behind her ears. "I used to believe that I was in love with you," but so softly he can barely hear.
"Do you love me?"
when I'm with you I feel like I could die
and that would be all right, all right
She shrugs and looks out the window, crossing her arms to hug herself a little and biting her bottom lip absently. He stands behind her, his hand on her shoulder gently, softly with a coolness in his voice. He presses on her shoulder briefly for an answer. "I couldn't live without you," and it's true but it's not the answer she wanted to give.
She says she lives for me
ovation, her own motivation
He doesn't talk much, and neither does she, but she talks more than him. "I love you, I've always loved you and I wish I could tell you" is all she wants to say, but she can't.
She was brought up not to lie.
Love isn't really something he understands. He thinks in black and white, control or controlled, and they fight for control and think it's love. She would never cry to him because, in the back of her mind, he isn't like her. He isn't human like that.
And I wish it could get back there
Some place back there
Smiling in the pictures you would take
Kisses on a Tuesday night, stars shining over her head as she breathes into his chest, held tightly before his lips meet her own, controlling, crushing, passion that crushes her and exhilirates her so all she wants is more. Nobody's ever been in love before, she thought, and she was wrong. No one falls in love, her sister says. And maybe she's not in love like she thought she was.
Her eyes are away, someplace faraway, and he puts one hand around her waist and brings her back to life. "Love me," he whispers, and she shivers with excitement and fear.
We tripped on the urge to feel alive
But now I'm struggling to survive
"Yes," she whispers back.
"I used to believe that there was true love, Lucius."
"Don't be silly."
"Didn't you? A long time ago, before we grew up? Did you ever believe in love, Lucius?"
A pause. "A very long time ago."
"Do you believe in anything, anymore?"
"I believe in me."
The beach gives a feeling; an earthy feeling
I believe in the faith that grows
And the four right chords can make me cry
"I know."
She used to believe, she'd say, believe that the world was good and that it was beautiful. Those days when she stood with him on the Quidditch pitch, wearing a red velvet dress and her eyes sparkled, the days when he smiled at her. He was the Prince and she was the Princess, running through grass fields in ridiclious dressess while he chased after her. When he took her dancing in the Great Hall late at night when the castle slept, playing music just for her. When tears came to her eyes and he wiped them away.
She's got her jaws just locked now in a smile
But nothing is all right, all right
And now...now she isn't anymore.
"Don't you believe in me, Lucius?" she whispers, and he draws back roughly, his face contempt.
"Don't be foolish, Narcissa. You are too old for such childish dreams."
I want something else
To get me through this
Semi-charmed kind of life
...
"I know," she says quietly, and turns away.