Title: Captain Fatherhood
Genre: Family/Humor
Rating: K+
Pairing: Mal/Kaylee
Summary: How anybody managed fatherhood while juggling captainin', he just didn't know.

Captain Fatherhood

1/1

Captain Malcolm Reynolds stood tall, jaw set, hands on his hips, just above his gun holsters. He was the picture of masculinity and he liked keepin' the unknown people around him right uncertain about what he was gonna do next. His ship was docked and his crew was walkin' down the ramp to meet him. They had some shoppin' to get done and then they'd be back in the black once more. Mal glared at the people walkin' past him, glancin' over curiously. Sooner they got their business done, sooner they could leave. His frown was dark, his eyes thinned; the expression of a man ought not be messed with. And then the effect was ruined entirely.

The wailing started. Squirming 'round, legs and arms kickin', the baby held in the carrier strapped to his chest made all of his hard work at lookin' tough drain away right quick. His expression slipped to that of soothing and he looked down on his toothin' youngster, stroking his brown hair and hushing him. "Come on now, Nathan. Daddy's got work to do and you're makin' him look soft in front'a folks." He sighed when his son simply cried louder, scrunching up his little red nose and curling his lips in a pout he got right from his momma.

As he heard the steps behind him, he turned around, hands on his hips. "Now Kaylee, I agreed I'd take care'a Nathan today, but I didn't think I'd be wearing this gorram chest strapper!" He complained. "Ain't nobody gonna take me seriously like this!"

"I think you look real cute, daddy," Serenity told him from beside her mother, swinging her and Kaylee's hands between them. "Don't he look cute, momma?" she asked, tipping her head up to her mom and smiling, her two front teeth missing.

"Real shiny," Kaylee agreed, walkin' over to stroke Nathan's cheek. She pulled a cold soother out from her coveralls and put in his mouth, immediately makin' their son stop with his hollerin'.

"Ya see?" Mal asked, frowning. "You should take him. He acts better with you. I got me some business to run and he makes me look like a pushover."

She smiled up at him; her hand lifting from their son's to cup his cheek. "Then surprise 'em, capt'n. Show 'em you the farthest thing from any pushover." She nodded. "'Sides, me an' Ren here have some girl stuff to do today, don't we?"

"Ya huh," Serenity agreed, nodding with a bright grin just like her momma's. She reached over and tugged on her daddy's pants, bringin' his attention down to her. "I told momma I wanted me a real shiny microwave to take apart and put back together. But she said since I gotted the toaster last time, I should get somethin' pretty. Aunty Zoe told us there's a shop 'round here with dresses for girls just like me." She pointed at herself and Mal noticed the grease spot on her thumb, makin' him hard pressed not to smile.

"'Zactly, so you see, Nathan should be off with you, doin' manly bartering stuff," Kaylee said, smiling. "'Sides, I think you look right fit. Real handsome like." She ran her fingers over the straps of the carrier and turned back toward the crew. "Ain't you think so Zoe?"

"Very handsome," she replied tonelessly.

"Hot dang, women love men with babies, capt'n," Jayne told him encouragingly.

Shaking her head, Kaylee turned to glare at him. "Been married goin' on thirteen years and you still ain't stopped tryin' to get him women."

He shrugged carelessly. "Just statin' facts."

"Gorram it, Kaylee!" he half-shouted, wantin' her attention on the problem at hand. Girl's mind could wander and if he didn't catch her soon, she'd leave him for the frilleries and dresses with their daughter and he'd be stuck lookin' a fool.

"Ooh, daddy, said a bad word."

Mal sighed, rubbing his temple. "I'm sorry Ren. Daddy shouldnt'a said that in fronta you." He glared at Jayne, who snickered. "Can I at least take 'im outta this carrier? Makes me look stupid."

"No," she said, shaking her head. "Think about it, Mal. If you need to get to your guns, you're gonna have your arms full of Nathan. And if you buy anything, you ain't gonna have no hands to carry it with." She half-smiled, amused. "Sacrifice a little, huh? We're only on this rock a couple more hours and then your manly pride can put itself together again on the ship."

"Yeah, daddy." Serenity put her hands on her hips and looked up at him seriously. "Nathan needs to see more'a the ground anyways. He only ever sees the black when you're showin' him your captainin'. It'll be a daddy-son day, and a momma-daughter day. Okay?" She tapped her foot expectantly.

"Fine," he grumbled. "But I ain't singin' him the sleepy song in public neither! If he needs a nap, I'm comin' to find you!" he warned, eyes widening.

"Oh," Kaylee said, patting his cheek before leaning down to kiss Nathan's forehead. "He had a nap 'fore we got here. He should be right awake and good 'til we leave. Ain't no need for the sleepy song." She smiled up at him. "I did sing it last though, so it's your turn when we get back."

"Kaywinnit," he groaned.

"Man's more whipped than I ever seen before," Jayne commented, nudging Zoe with his elbow.

She frowned back at him, but lifted a conceding brow.

"I ain't whipped!" Mal denied hotly. He adjusted the carrier and checked to see that Nathan's shoes were on tight before he looked at them. "I can make this work," he told them, nodding. "They think they can show me up, jus' cause I gotta baby, but they're barterin' with the wrong man." He looked around at his crew. "We meet back here in two hours, not a minute late."

"What if I have to go potty?" Serenity asked, eyes wide with innocence.

"Well you can go to the bathroom on the ship, Ren," he replied, shaking his head.

"But what if I have to go real bad and can't wait. You ain't gonna leave without me, are ya daddy?" she asked, her bottom lip sticking out.

"'Course I ain't leavin' without you. I was warnin' Jayne. He's a second late, we're leavin' him on this rock."

Serenity giggled before turning her head back. "S'okay, Uncle Jayne. Daddy tries to leave you, I'll stop him."

"Nice to know someone will," Jayne replied, frowning

The crew all started walkin' in different directions, so he shouted after his wife as she took Serenity off into the market. "And you stay away from that parts joint, Kaywinnit! We don't need anymore this trip." His jaw clenched. "And don't go near that pawn shop neither. Man's lookin' to bed you, I can see it in his eyes, gorramit!"

Her laughter rung back to him. "Jealousy ain't so shiny on ya, capt'n," she told him, turning her head to smile.

Damn if she didn't look pretty walkin' off with her coveralls all greased up and their daughter chatterin' away at her side. Serenity looked like a mini-Kaylee, with her hair thrown up in a messy ponytail and a pair of overalls on that he was sure would be just as dirty as her mom's was by bedtime. She was just as cheerful and shiny as her momma too, but she had a no-nonsense way about her that reminded him of himself. When she wanted somethin' done, she said so and she used her hands on her hips to emphasize her fact.

He felt Nathan squirm around at his chest and looked down at his son with a sigh. "Wish you could walk already," he told him before startin' off toward where he needed to be. "Couple years from now, you're gonna be right big and you an' me, we're gonna take these places for all they're worth. Teach you all my barterin' skills and you'll be right good at it too," he boasted. "'Course you're gonna have to leave that soother behind. Ain't look too tough with it." He found his son's hands and smiled as his tiny fingers wrapped around his thumbs and waved them up and down as much as he could. He made little noises from behind his soother, ain't learned to talk yet neither but he damn sure tried to.

When Serenity was just a babe, she was stuck to her momma's hip. Her first word was daddy though and she hooked herself right onto him soon as he came into view. Her second word was screwdriver, and he figured it was 'cause she spent so much time with her momma, who was always talkin' aloud about what she needed. Serenity would sit in her little play pen, a safe distance from the engine, and always under the watchful eye of her mother. At least when the rest of the crew wasn't walkin' around with her. She loved River's long hair and always giggled at the weird things she said as if she understood them. She fell asleep at Zoe's shoulder whenever she hummed a certain tune and rocked her all shiny like. Made Mal think she and Wash would've been great at parenting. Even Jayne enjoyed takin' little Serenity around the ship once and a while. 'Course he had to be monitored, seein' as he thought showin' her guns and lettin' her touch 'em was normal. Or tellin' her stories about his lady friends or people he'd gone and killed for money. Still, Serenity just snuggled up into his arms and listened to him talk. Simon was the most uncomfortable with her; probably 'cause he was so clinical and such. He delivered her when the time came and he watched her when nobody else could, but he wasn't exactly comfortable with babies. He was gettin' better now though, with Nathan around. A little too wary about where he was movin' or touchin', but not as stuffy as he'd been when Ren was a babe.

He could hardly believe his little Serenity was already eight years old. Gone and shocked him most mornin's with how much she'd grown. She took over Kaylee's old bunk and added more flowers as the years went by. She was a tom-boy in image, but just as girly as her momma. He loved her to no limit, but Mal hadn't thought he'd be havin' another. Wasn't easy havin' a baby on the ship. Always had to be worryin' about what trouble they might get into and what illegal cargo might 'cause problems 'round the ship. He'd had a hard enough time worryin' about puttin' his crew in danger, and that was before he gone and married one of 'em. But havin' a wife and a child there made it all the more worrisome. And now he had Nathan to think of too. They still got into scrapes; ain't no way around it, he figured. But the always got out of it and he reckoned one of the reasons they did was 'cause he had a drive to live more than he ever had before. Always thinkin' on who he wanted to get home to and how he wanted to be around to see his son grab control of the ship and fly it all on his own. Planned on seein' his daughter grow up real good, just like her momma. 'Course he wasn't gonna let her date none; he was strict on that. Long as she stayed on his ship, there wasn't any real chance of that anyway. Sure she was only seven now, but they grew up real quick like and he didn't want no grimy mechanic getting' his paws on his little Ren. Her momma had a different view, but gorram, he was the captain and the daddy and what he said goes!

Usually.

He looked down at the bundle of squirming arms and legs, and sighed. Didn't quite win that one. His son's head fell back and he saw his own blue eyes staring up at him. He smiled around his soother, his nose scrunching up as he giggled at his daddy. While he hadn't exactly been gung-ho for walkin' around the way he was, didn't mean his son was any less important. He'd been unexpected, but when Kaylee had looked up at him and said, "You gone and got me pregnant again!" He experienced a little shock and a whole lot of happiness. It'd been tough going and he knew havin' another baby on board meant problems, even if Serenity wasn't a baby no more. But when Nathan arrived seven months later, he figured it was well worth the hassle. Now almost a year old, he was the best son Mal could ask for, just as Serenity was the best daughter. He was biased sure, but his kids could out do any in the 'verse.

He was almost to the tent where his bartering skills were needed and he glanced down at his son real serious like. "Now you just keep still, much as you can. Don't draw attention to yourself and we should get through this real easy." When his son just sucked on his soother, his cheeks hollowing out, he figured it went right past his understandin'. He'd just have to use his superior bartering skills and hope the salesman didn't use his fatherhood against him.

"Mal! Macolm!" he heard from behind him and turned to see his wife and daughter running toward him.

Relieved, he figured she'd changed her mind and was gonna take Nathan with her. She usually took him when they docked anyhow and he figured she was missin' their mom-son time seein' as Nathan usually sat in a beat-up but safe baby seat strapped to his co-pilot's chair so he could get the hang of flyin' early on. She came to a stop in front of him, breathin' a little heavy. He knew it wasn't the time, but damn if he didn't notice how shiny she looked with her cheeks flushed. Reminded him of activities they were gettin' heavy in just the night before. He was surprised they didn't have more than two kids, way they kept gettin' all over each other. They'd christened every corner they could over the years, including his captain's chair and her engine room. Could never look at the hammock the same way, neither.

He smiled at her, waitin' for her to ask for their son. Figured he might up a little fight just to tease her before givin' in.

She lifted her arm and placed the strap of a bag over his shoulder. "He might need changin'," she said, lifting her shoulders. She chuckled slightly before lifting up on her toes to press a kiss against his shocked mouth. He kissed her back, short and sweet, still a little caught off guard by the turn of events. "Love you, see you back on the ship," she called to him, before being dragged away by their daughter.

"Come on, momma. I saw the right dress, I did! It's gonna be gone, we don't hurry up!" he could hear Serenity saying.

He glanced down at the diaper bag at his hip and frowned. Gorram! Ain't nobody gonna take him seriously now.

A right sour smell wafted up to his nose and his chin dropped, eyes falling to Nathan, whose face was scrunched up real intense like. He shook his head, wondering where a bathroom was. How anybody managed fatherhood while juggling captainin', he just didn't know.

Author's Note: This one is actually my favorite from the Shiny verse. Hope you liked it. Reviews are sustenance, readers! Luv yas - Fina!