Title: Being Nikki, Take Two
Rating: T
Summary:
****CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR BEING NIKKI****
If you have not read all of Being Nikki, I really suggest you don't read this. It will ruin a lot of the book for you!
This is a 2 part story that begins right after the kissing scene between Christopher and Em (in Nikki's Body) on page 274.
Also, I'm going to go through this scene for part one and then skip through to another scene for part two. I'll give you page numbers, but I hope that it doesn't get too confusing. I think it will be o.k. But just let me know!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Meg Cabot is the author of Airhead and Being Nikki as well as all of the well-written and amazing characters!
Em's POV
(Page 274)
It felt so nice, just for that minute or two to have his arms around me, and to feel his heart beating against mine. For the first time in what seemed like the longest time, I knew I was protected and warm and not---well, alone.
It had been so long since I'd felt like this. So long since I've felt warm and comfortable and safe. This was the first time I've felt like I could be myself in months.
Not only could I be myself, but I was finally in Christopher's arms. I'd waited so long for this moment. I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want to move, or even breathe, for fear that I might wake up from a dream. But I wasn't dreaming. For once in these long months, I wasn't dreaming about being in Christopher's arms. I didn't have to dream, because it was actually happening. And it felt amazing and perfect. His strong warm arms fit perfectly around my, or well I guess, Nikki's, body.
I melted into his touch and finally relaxed. It didn't matter that Nikki's mother was missing, that I couldn't go on vacation with my family, that my grandma thought I was dead, that I seemed to have enemies everywhere because of Nikki's previous lifestyle, or that I was working for a company who seemed as if they were part of a much bigger conspiracy than I could imagine.
None of that mattered. All that mattered was that I was in Christopher's arms. And that I could feel his heart beating against mine. I sighed into his chest as he held me, because I had never felt happier in my entire life.
"Christopher…." I said, breaking the silence. I looked up to see his blue eyes look deep into mine. I could see so much emotion in them, so much desire, and yet so much love. That's when I knew. I knew I had to tell him everything I was feeling.
"Yeah, Em?"
"It's so nice to hear you say my name. Well, my real name. You have no idea how much I've missed you…." I said, sighing with relief.
Christopher smiled.
"I mean it. You're the only reason I decided to go to high school. They said that Nikki didn't need schooling, that she could get a tutor. But I couldn't bear that idea. Not being able to tell you it was me was torture enough. But not seeing you every day was unbearable. I had to see you. I missed you so much. I missed your face and your voice. I missed everything about you. So I decided if I couldn't tell you or visit you, I had to go to school to at least see you…."
"Em…." He said with such passion that I almost stopped. But I was determined to get through all of what I wanted to say so that I could get to the most important part. Christopher gently reached his hand up and brushed his fingers down my cheek. Nikki's body really liked this. Maybe not quite as much as when he was kissing my neck, but it was still enough to make me close my eyes, sigh, and rest my cheek against his hand.
I took a deep breath and then continued.
"Christopher, I tried so hard to get you to realize it was me. I wanted to tell you so badly. I tried talking about JourneyQuest and giving you the dinosaur stickers…."
"Yeah. I was an idiot not to realize…." He said, laughing sarcastically at himself.
I smiled at him and continued again.
"It's just, I've felt so alone. I haven't felt complete without you. I missed watching Discovery Channel with you and playing JourneyQuest and making fun of places like Stark…" I trailed off, smiling as I remembered all of the times we spent together. I looked up to see that Christopher had a big smile on his face as well.
"….But, not being able to spend time with you or touch you or laugh with you. It's been torture. Keeping such a big secret from you hurt so much. It hurt to look at you and not talk to you like I used to. It hurt to think that I could never be myself with you again. It hurt to be without you. Christopher, I've felt so alone. And so cold. And so empty."
I didn't even realize that I was crying, until I felt Christopher's warm hand reach up and wipe away a stray tear.
"Shh….Em…it's ok," he said, putting his arms around me and pulling me closer. He ran his fingers through my hair.
"Em, I'm here now. I know the truth. You don't have to worry about any of that anymore. You can talk to me whenever you want and touch me or hold me whenever you want. You can be yourself around me. You never have to worry about any of that with me ever again. I'm so sorry you were alone and in pain. I'm so sorry I didn't realize sooner. But it's going to be o.k. now, because I'm here. I won't let you feel that way again. I'm going to take care of you, I promise."
I realized that my tears were still falling, but this time, they were tears of joy. Finally, I didn't have to worry about slipping up in front of Christopher. Finally, we could be together. Finally, everything was starting to look better. I was in Christopher's arms, and everything just might turn out okay.
I took another breath as my tears slowed. I pulled apart from Christopher just enough to be able to look into his eyes. I put my hand on his cheek and brought his face down so that I was looking into an ocean of blue.
I calmed myself enough in order to tell him what I'd been waiting to say for the longest time.
"Christopher…."
He looked at me, expectantly, but patiently.
"I love you," I said, my heart finally feeling as though it had been relieved of some immense pressure.
Christopher's eyes widened and then he smiled the biggest smile I have ever seen.
I continued. "I've always loved you. You were more than just my best friend. I was just too scared to say anything. I was afraid you didn't love me back. I mean, you didn't seem to show any interest. Sometimes, I didn't even think you knew I was a girl. And I didn't want to lose you as a friend, because you were, well still are, the most important person in my life. But it was so hard not to kiss you when you were trying to battle the Dragons of Pith, and your eyebrows would crease as you concentrated, and I just…..well……I just love you so much," I said, as I started crying again and looked away, toward the floor.
Nikki's body seemed to like to cry a lot. Or maybe that was me. I wasn't really sure. It was hard to tell what was Nikki and what was me anymore, considering we were the same person….kind of.
"Em…." Christopher practically growled with passion. He grabbed my chin and brought my eyes up to look into his. When I looked into his eyes, I gasped. I had never seen Christopher's gaze look so intense. He looked so full of passion and love……for me.
I wasn't sure what to say, because his gaze was boring into mine. I could hardly breathe, let alone talk. But I didn't have to worry about what to say for much longer, because a second later, Christopher's lips were on mine.
And this kiss was even more passionate than the last. His lips hungrily attacked mine, as though I was his source of oxygen. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck and began to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. He ran his hands down my sides, and I trembled at his touch.
While Nikki may have received some intense kisses before, I don't know if her body could handle this intensity.
My knees began to grow weak and I slowly backed up (keeping Christopher's lips attached to mine) until the back of my knees hit the bed. Christopher kept kissing me hungrily as we lowered onto the bed, and he pressed his warm body on top of mine.
His tongue darted across my lower lip, and I granted him access to the rest of my mouth. Let me say, this was definitely better than I had imagined. Christopher's tongue began to explore the details of my mouth, and I sighed into his kiss. Nikki's body definitely liked this, because I began to feel my body arching even closer to Christopher—if getting any closer was even possible.
This caused Christopher to gasp, as he pulled away to breathe. His eyes were partly closed still and looked as through they were grazed over with passion and desire. I could imagine that mine looked the same. I would also be willing to put money on the fact that I was probably blushing so much that my entire face was red. But, at that moment, I didn't really care.
"Wow…" Christopher said, still panting heavily.
I would have said the same, if I was able to speak. It was hard though, because Nikki's body was still pushing closer to Christopher, since his body was still pressed up against mine. I couldn't help it, really, I mean Nikki's body just reacted this way to kisses. I had no control over it. Not that I'm complaining or anything. I mean, with Brandon and Gabriel, it wasn't such a good thing. But with Christopher, well, it felt right.
I was finally almost able to breathe again when Christopher looked down and saw the skin on my neck exposed, due to my dress. Apparently, it was too much for Christopher to contain himself, because he began attacking my neck with kisses. And Nikki's body really really liked that. Way more than even neck massages from Brandon. Then his lips moved up and grazed across my ear, and I realized that Christopher had just found Nikki's weak spot. I gasped and my body went limp. It felt absolutely amazing like I was drowning in a sea of passion.
Christopher must have realized that he had found Nikki's body's weak spot as well, because he began to graze his teeth over my ear once again.
"Em, I love you," he whispered huskily. I could feel his warm breath tickle my ear, and I sighed with contentment.
I took a deep breath and finally found my voice. "You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that…." I mumbled, breathless. I was in utter ecstasy. I don't think there has ever been a happier moment in my life.
Finally, I decided to see what Nikki was capable of, rather than making Christopher do all the work.
I tried to roll over, and I think that Christopher got the idea of what I was doing. He helped roll over the rest of the way, pinning me on top of him. I began to kiss him slowly and lovingly, saving each moment. I had only waited my entire life for this, and I was going to enjoy every second.
I ran my fingers up and down his chest, relishing the feeling of it. He had definitely been working out recently. Or if he hadn't, he really must have not worn shirts that did him justice, back when I was in my real body. I then ran my fingers down his arms, feeling each muscle beneath my fingertips.
I finally decided to put my mouth to Christopher's throat. See, it seemed as if Nikki's body never really did anything, but just let guys do everything for her. But, my braind didn't want to work that way. I wanted Christopher to feel even a portion of what Nikki's body felt when he pressed up against it.
I could feel Christopher's heart rate begin to increase and I was ecstatic. After all these years that I believed Christopher didn't want me, I was wrong. It was clear that he did. He said it, and even his body admitted it. But even more, I knew when I had found Christopher's weak spot, because he practically admitted it.
"Em…" he groaned and began to breathe even harder when I reached the spot right above his collar bone. Bingo! I spent just a little longer here before I brought my mouth back to meet Christopher's.
Christopher began to kiss me passionately, once again. I ran my fingers through his hair and down his arms, before pulling his hands up and holding them there above his head. Then, I began to try and figure out what Lulu meant by "that thing with your tongue"…
Although, it's a little hard to know if I'm doing that "thing" if I don't even know what the thing is that I'm supposed to be doing. But, Christopher seemed to enjoy whatever I was doing well enough. Finally, when I couldn't breathe any longer, I pulled away, panting and looked him in the eye.
His eyes were still drowsy with desire, but full of excitement and love as well. I'd never seen eyes so alive as Christopher's at that moment.
"Em," he started. "I….well……I…..wow," he said, still breathing heavily, yet smiling.
"I know," I said, smiling back.
"I really wish I hadn't waited so long to kiss you," he said, smiling up at me brightly.
"The feeling's mutual."
"You can't even imagine how happy I am right now…." He said, pulling me off of him so that I could lie next to him.
"I think I can," I responded.
"No, Em, I mean….when I thought that you were dead, well, a part of me had died with you. That was the worst day of my life. I didn't want to play Journey Quest anymore, because it made me think about you. I didn't want to watch Discovery Channel, because the pain of watching it without you was too much to bear. But….the happiness that I felt when I opened that file. I can't even describe it. That was the best moment of my entire life…..well, until now, that is," he said, smiling at me and brushing a piece of my hair out of my eyes.
I let a tear fall. I'm not sure if it was a tear of the sad memories, or a tear of happiness that I was finally in Christopher's arms. But it didn't matter either way.
"Oh, Christopher. I'm so sorry you were hurting. When I brought it up to you when you were fixing my laptop, and you looked so sad. I just felt horrible. I wanted to hold you and tell you it was me. It was torture not to, but I wish I could have. I felt so horrible. I'm so sorry you were in pain, because of me," I said, honestly feeling horrible.
"Don't be sorry. None of this was your fault," he said, kissing the top of my head gently. "And, now I know. I'm not missing a piece of my heart anymore, because you're here. And I'm never letting you go, ever again…" he said, wrapping his arms around me tightly.
Somehow, talking about that day (the Stark grand opening) made me remember the other person who was present at the grand opening. Frida. I grimaced. Frida, in her dress that was nothing more than 2 handkerchiefs knitted together….
I really didn't want to move, because I loved being so close to Christopher. But I didn't really have a choice. I couldn't let my sister dance around in nothing like she was Miley Cyrus. I slowly sat up.
"What's wrong?" Christopher asked, worried.
"Frida. That's what's wrong," I said, sounding angry.
"What about Frida?" he asked, probably confused as to how the topic changed so suddenly.
"You didn't see her when you came in?"
"Umm, no. I had something more important in mind," he said, blushing. This made me feel extremely happy for some reason. Because apparently, he came here planning to make out with me in my room. My heart began to speed up and I couldn't contain my smile, even if I had just been angry at Frida.
"Well, yeah, she's here. In a dress shorter than Britney Spears' normal attire. Oh, and she's dancing with Gabriel Luna and gyrating her hips like she's Miley Cyrus," I said, my gaze narrowing again.
Christopher laughed, stood up, and offered me his hand. I took it, and he helped pull me up off of my bed.
"Well, let's go stop Frida, I guess," he said, smiling at me. "But just one thing first…" he said, leaning in.
He placed a soft kiss on my lips.
A second later, the door to my room burst open, and a very male, very surprised voice asked, "Nikki?"
And I turned my head and saw Brandon standing there, staring at us in the half-light.
(Then, of course, the rest of the book continues as Meg wrote it)
*****A/N: I still have to write part two, in which I re-write a little of another scene from the book, but this time, with Christopher's POV. Let me know what you think about this. What is good about it? What is bad about it?
Please review?! Whether you like it or not, just be honest! =) Reviews usually encourage me to write faster. Tell me what I can do better and what you like!
Thanks so much! =)