La Chaim !
A/N: I own neither Chuck nor NBC or anything compared therein. This little drabble is based on a side story that made me feel sorry for Jeffrey Barnes. Jeff's never had his bar mitzvah. But why is that exactly ?
Chapter 1--Rehearsing In The Break Room
Jeff always had a small Torah with him in the break room. Typically, he and Lester would be chatting about the events of the day, the sales (or lack thereof) they had made, or the babes working at Buy More. Needless to say, Lester was a bit concerned with this unusual behavior. Inquisitively, Les sneaked up on his best friend and looked over his shoulder.
"What're you doing ?", he asked.
"Reading and memorizing the Torah. I have to, Les. I'm having my bar mitzvah this weekend. To be honest, I'm nervous. I don't know if I'll even memorize the scriptures required of me…", Jeff began drinking some more Mountain Dew and gnoshing on some Doritos. Lester sat right across from him and looked him square in the eyes.
"The Jeff I know has a spine. The Jeff I know wouldn't let a little bit of scripture dare to scare him !", Les reassured his friend with confidence in his timbre.
"It's all about tradition, Les. If I make one wrong move, I'm afraid I could be mocked, or worse.", Jeff said, cringing slightly. Lester had a sense of dread when Jeff had mentioned the word 'tradition'. He thanked the Gods that he was no longer bogged down by a society that thrived on the abominable things, as illogical as they were. Then, a brilliant idea popped into his mind; motivating Jeff a bit more and building up his confidence.
"Would it help if I assisted you in your study ?", he questioned.
"I suppose. It wouldn't hurt. Maybe you'll learn something in the process.", Jeff added with a hint of mischief and intellectual superiority. Lester didn't mind his friend taking jabs at him every so often since it was part of his personality. Besides, if Jeff didn't do so, he knew something was off concerning his buddy. At least currently, Jeff hadn't changed at all and simply needed reassuring that his journey into manhood would go on without a hitch.
Chapter 2--Pulling A Torah All Nighter
Again and again, Lester reviewed the ancient Hebrew text from Jeff's favorite Torah passage from Exodus. Jeff's theme for his bar mitzvah was obedience and faith, which he had plenty of his entire life. So far, Jeff was showing signs of improved confidence and self-esteem but he was beginning to become rather enervated from reciting scripture ad nauseum.
While Jeff and Lester were taking a break playing the latest version of Battle of the Bands, Les's curiosity had begun to gnaw in the back of his mind.
"Why weren't you able to do this until now ?", he inquired. Jeff suddenly paused the game and looked at his friend with a bit of shock in his expression. It was as if he had been socked in the solar plexus. In an awkward, pregnant pause, Jeff composed his dazed self and sighed with a hint of frustration as he exhaled.
"Like any other Jewish boy my age, I should've had my bar mitzvah by the time I turned 12. But, I got distracted. Girls became my top priority.", Jeff confessed.
"Oh, dude. That's hard. It's not fair that you couldn't have your rite of passage and go out on dates.", Lester said, shaking his head left and right, sadly.
"Such a thing is impossible. Seeing that I haven't had a date in…well, months I have been able to focus more on what's truly important.", Jeff said with a huge grin. Then with exuberance, he resumed the game and utterly smoked Lester in the current level.
"Booyah ! Who's your DADDY, Les ?", he exclaimed, triumphantly, pumping his hands up into the air in celebration.
"Your talents are certainly wasted at the Buy More, my friend. Someday, I really must enlist you in the next Battle of the Bands contest convo. You would be a shoe-in for Ultimate Battler.", Les commented his friend. Even though the mock contest was enjoyable and entertaining, the two had to return to continue their studies into the wee hours of the night until they plotzed.
Chapter 3--Bacchanal
Lester had seen (and been) to many parties in his lifetime but absolutely nothing had prepared him for the jubilation that was the epitome of a bar mitzvah.
A better adjective for it was 'bacchanal' only without over-indulgence, hedonism or debauchery.
Even though the atmosphere had begun rather stoically and a sacred air enveloped everyone in the synagogue, the party afterward broke any of Lester's preconceived notions and stigmas concerning 'religious' folks. Jeff seemed to be on cloud nine and it was likely he wouldn't be coming down for days after the celebration was over. When Jeff was finally free of his doting parents, grandparents and cousins by the dozens, Lester walked up to him to the thundering beat of the music.
"Man, this party is awesome. I thought Chuck's block party was off the hizzle but this is even better !", he stated, ecstatically. Jeff smiled effervescently and gave his friend a high-five.
"It's all thanks to your pep-talk and help. I wouldn't have been able to pull off those long scriptures from Exodus if it hadn't been for you.", Jeff confessed, honestly. Jeff unexpectedly brought his friend in for a bear hug, nearly cracking his ribcage.
"Ok, big buddy. Not so much love or people will get the wrong idea.", he whispered. It wasn't until much longer that there were some rather sultry looking women that caught both of their eyes and the two spent the rest of the evening chatting the women up, not knowing that the two would give them their numbers and they would get lucky that weekend.
Epilogue
Morgan was surprised at how much effort he was seeing out of his most lackadaisical employees; Lester and Jeffrey. He didn't think to pry into either one of their personal lives, but there was a certain aura the both of them carried. It spoke to him saying, "We just had a nighttime to remember". Morgan was slightly jealous as any self-respecting, hot-blooded American male would be but was not overruled by this twinge of jealousy. Instead, he commended his friends but couldn't help inventing stories of what adventures the two men got themselves into over the weekend as he passed the time watching the employees go about their daily grind.
The End