Kurusugawa Himeko is older now, but the memory still remains. Deep in the back of her mind, she is unable to forget the promise her Chikane had made her.
And the dream they both shared.
"Go to hell." Dark violet eyes warily watched the other while an ominous frown spread cross her lips. "Then maybe I'll accept you, slut."
There are times when we deny ourselves what we truly want…
The slight flicker of hurt crosses the elder's eyes. "Himeko, I…"
…because the pain is preferable to waiting.
The twisting ache in her chest is real. The pain in her arms is too.
So is the crying, cursing child thrashing wildly in her arms, overcome by rage.
Its not that she enjoys the pounding on her chest or the gashes on her arms left by sharp nails, but she knows that this is proof of the latter's feelings for her. This refusal to accept her embrace and her devotion is all the proof he needs.
She doesn't understand how she knows this, but somehow, despite her young age, she recognizes that this is perhaps the most attachment the younger girl, trapped within her embrace has ever displayed.
She accepts her scorn as a gift to be treasured.
They are still young, very young. Neither one of them understands what it is they feel for one another, but they know it's very dangerous.
The younger turns and walks away, the older watches her do so.
They both know what the other is thinking.
It's not a secret to either of them.
They are older now, both fine women of status and power. But nothing has really changed between them from their younger days.
Except…
"Damn it!" A soft curse leaves the lips of the younger, her brows pulled into an expression of displeasure. "Himemiya, release me! I have battle preparations to attend to." She struggles halfheartedly to escape her hold.
The elder's arms tighten around her waist. "That excuse is getting old. You need to widen your choice of activities." She buries her face into the mass of fine blonde locks the Kurusugawas calls hair.
"Bastard." The Kurusugawa heir is still sulky after that, but slightly content.
…She doesn't usually have scratches on her arms when they leave each other.
"I can't."
Himeko's thin brows pull together, displeasure evident on her face. She knows exactly what is happening; Always had known.
"I see." Hurt; That was the only thing Himeko felt at that moment, but it didn't matter now.
She had been such a fool.
"Let's end this!" Her rage is unmistakable.
Now she would pay the price for her denial.
A promise of peace.
Not that the young Kurusugawa believed in it anyway, but it felt… nice… to let herself, if only for the briefest of moments, dream of such a future. Even if she knows better, she… can't help but dream.
Because that was the first dream Chikane had ever shared with her.
Blood. It's on her hands and running down her chin, warm and bitter against her scorched skin. She grits her teeth and glares at the Himemiya, who holds the front of her robe in her grasp, holding her up.
"You…" She breathes in pained gasps.
She can only whisper the rest, but they're the most honest words Chikane has ever said.
They're her last words; the last words Himeko will ever hear her speak.
Soft eyes lock with Himeko's bleeding violet ones. She smiles, but it's dead and broken, like a soulless doll.
"I'm…sorry, Himeko."
The light leaves Chikane's eyes and Himeko can't look anymore.
It hurts…
So she lets go, and Chikane tumbles to the bottom of the cliff, to her final resting place…
"Himeko."
Warm hands tighten around her waist and she feels… happy.
"I'll never let you go."
"Really?" The sarcasm doesn't go unnoticed by the elder woman, but she merely smiles and kisses Himeko's neck tenderly.
"I promise." A suspicious glare meets her soft gaze.
"And what would compel you make such a promise, Himemiya?" A demanding question that only causes the elder to laugh lightly.
"Because…"
Himeko holds up the heirloom sword of the Himemiyas and looked up to the hilt, still unable to forget that day, that night, that promise.
And the words that followed.
Her face is still, like a statue, but the tears are still falling, bitter and warm against her skin, like blood.
"I love you, Himeko."
"Liar."
And she turns away from those eyes, like she had so many years ago, when she was so very young.
"You never loved me, Chikane."
But this time, no one comes after her.
Now there's no one holding her back from the nightmare she calls a dream.