I'm inside a room, a white, terrible room. I don't know when I came here, I don't know why I'm here. And thinking back I can't seem to remember anywhere else.
The tall, white walls keeps closing in on me. White and massive, strong and overwhelming. There are sounds in my head, hammering, hurting me. Screams and voices, flying shapes in black all around me. Laughter. A scream behind me. I turn around met by another white wall. A lamp shines down from the roof casting a sort of gloom shadow beneath me, twisting around. The laughter increases as tears streams out of my eyes. Who's there? My eyes searching the room again. Still nothing. Just the closed door, the lamp and the four white walls. Who's there? Panic in my eyes as I fall down towards the floor. So dark…
Flying arms open wide. A blue sky, green northern light. An ocean beneath me, beautiful light playing in my eyes. Suddenly I'm loosing height, falling towards the water. The stunningly pretty scenery shows the laughing sun setting over the sea, the beautiful sea...
I feel your eyes on me. Who are you? I open my own eyes, and stare around me. Four white walls. Where are you? The never ending laughter, the eyes burning my skin… Why are you hiding, what do you want me? It feels like the very air I breathe in closes in on me, like the walls are moving towards me. I'm captured, a prisoner… I can't go anywhere, can't move. The light on the wall stays on, sometimes making a blurry shade sweep beneath me. The shadow grows stronger, and moves on its own. Hands stretched towards me, as if to attack.
"Leave me alone, go away", I scream. No reply, the shadow doesn't move at all, just reaches out its arm… "Just go. Just leave me alone; what do you want from me?" Nothing. "I'm just a girl; don't hurt me, and just leave, just…"
Deadly silence. I close my eyes, feeling my heartbeats all the way to my fingertips. I'm too weak, I can't defend myself, leave me alone. My breath is fast and unsteady, my lips twisting, tears streaming down my face. I open my eyes again only to discover four white walls and an all normal shadow beneath me. What? Where?
The glowing light above me. A fairy dancing across the room, shiny. The tiny body of a young girl, two bright white wings, and blonde – almost yellow hair-, and blue eyes. Like a giant sparkle shining down on me, a smile so soft and happy. I reach towards her. Pretty star! I feel the warmth from her smile make my body shake away coldness. Be mine! My eyes fixated on this astonishing creature, as it too starts fading away. The contours gets weaker the deeper I stare, and the air again fills with the gloom light from the lamp... "Don't go!" I whisper, "Don't leave me, don't…"
I blink. I Feel how sticky my eyelashes are from my tears and how they now stream down my cheeks. It's not uncomfortable, it's just an observation. My skin turns soft underneath the salty drops, and the warmth in my tears heats my face a bit. I'm such a wreck, I'm all messed up! I let loose another tear as a growl seems to emerge from the wall. The white wall with the door. Open it. My mind begs, and pleads. The laughter again, and this time I'm all sure it comes from the door. I feel fascinated, almost dragged towards it, but the terrible sound makes me crawl against the opposite wall in the room. Get away, have to get away!
I'm not here. I'm not here at all. Leave me alone, just leave me alone
"But you are alone…" A voice whispers silently.
Who said that? Anyone here? Anyone? Anything?
The lamp blinks once, and the shadow moves unsteady beneath me. The walls grow endlessly big, and my eyes focus on the door. Why are you hiding?
"Shouldn't I be asking that question?", the voice laughs. Where does the voice come from? I stare at the door, nothing happens. "I'm right here, can't you see me?" I almost scream now, how could it know what I think? Can you read my mind? Who are you? Show yourself…
"Look down." I looked at the shadow beneath me. What? "This is our shadow."
What do you mean? A strong laughter fills the room. "Can't you recognise your own shadow? Your own mind?" The voice taunts me and fills the room with a manic laughter.
Why are you playing with me? Go away! Leave me alone!
"Oh, but you are alone dear. You've always been."