His eyes are bloodshot, his throat burns from throwing back shot after shot, and his stomach is on fire as all the liquor mixes together. He wants to be numb, he literally doesn't want to feel a thing. He's chasing the shots with beer, and it's helping get him to the state he wishes to be in. He pulls at the collar of his black dress shirt, ripping two buttons off, and his black suit jacket is sitting on the floor, but he doesn't care, not even a little. He's been back two weeks, and has flown to four different states for five funerals, each one passing in a blur, but the one today was slow, and different in so many ways, this one today was what broke him. Broke him to the point where the alcohol in his system, seems to be taking longer to take affect. He orders drinks upon drinks, until the bartender behind the bar nicely tells Jay to go home, and get some rest, before handing him his receipt. Jay just nods his head; at least he thinks he does as he signs somewhere on the small white piece of paper. He stumbles out the door, his jacket forgotten on the floor. When he gets outside, he braces himself on the cool wall of the bar, as he looks at his phone and eventually orders a cab.
XXXXXX
He's half asleep when they pull up to his childhood home. He pays the driver, and exits the car, he looks at the house, and it makes him want to hope back into the yellow vehicle, but it's already driving off when he turns around. He wants more to drink, he wants to black out, and forget. The phone screen is blurred when he pulls it out of his pocket to check the time. It's too late to go get more to drink, so he slowly climbs the stairs in front of his house, and fumbles with his keys to get in. He walks through the door and tries to close it behind him quietly, but instead he slams it; waking up the last person he wants to see, or talk to. He regrets not leaving, but it's too late now, and he turns to face the older Halstead after he clears his throat.
"Where the fuck have you been?"
"Out." Jay says curtly
"Don't fucking come into my house, after you disrespected your mother by leaving her funeral early, disappeared without talking to your family, and walking in here drunk off your ass at one in the morning." Patrick says, and Jay scuffs, and runs his hand down his face. He's drunk, too drunk to have any kind of rational conversation, and somewhere in the back of his mind he knows that, so he turns back around to walk out.
"Are you feeling guilty now, for leaving her? For leaving your family when you were needed most?" Patrick says standing up, just as Jay opens the front door again. He can feel his boiling blood practically melt the alcohol away, as he turns around once more.
"I left to fight a war Patrick, but if you want to talk about disrespect and leaving, want to tell me why you brought your fucking mistress to your wife of thirty five years' funeral." Jay yells a little too loudly for this time at night.
"You don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh I don't? Then tell me who the tall blonde, young enough to be my sister was?"
"She's a family friend."
"Right a family friend that you've been screwing behind your sick wife's back. Good story Pat." Jay yells again, as he decides to push past his father to get his stuff, and then leave, but Patrick pushes Jay back against the wall, and hits him.
Ms. Denton next door, called the cops when she heard their yelling.
"You know I wanted her to get an abortion when we found out about you, you were a risk to her health. And now I have you, and not her. I wish it was you who died over there, instead me having to watch your mother slowly die here. You're a fucking disgrace to this family."
"Funny that you say that, cause I wish that you would have died instead of her." Jay yells, and Patrick tries to hit his son again, but Jay blocks his hand, and lands a hit to his father's face.
"Patrick, Jay, what's going on in there?" Ms. Denton asks loudly as she knocks on the door, accidentally pushing it open. Patrick puts his arm around Jay's shoulder, and puts a fake smile on as he pulls him towards his neighbor.
"Nothing Ms. Denton, we're just going through some stuff."
"Get your hands off of him Patrick." The sixty year old lady says to the older Halstead.
"Are you alright dear?"
"Yes, ma'am." Jay slurs politely; rubbing the blood from his lip.
"I called the cops, and you best believe I'll be on his side when they get here." Ms. Denton growls at Patrick, and gestures for Jay to go to her house.
"Thank you Ms. Denton."
"Your mom was a dear friend Jay, and I never understood why she put up with him, but I promised I'd look after you after she was gone. You've got her heart, her spirit, and I refuse to let that man break you down, and hold you back from reaching your full potential." She says sweetly, after handing him a hand towel, and a bag of frozen peas.
XXXXXX
Over at District twenty one, rookie officer Lindsay as no nails left to chew as she walks up to get the patrol car keys with her training officer Antonio Dawson. Even after yesterday, talking to the man who raised her, and who made her want to become a cop, over a black phone, she's still didn't get any sleep, and she got out of bed to get ready extra early. She doesn't know why she's so nervous; she's been around this specific district her whole life. Maybe it's the legacy Hank has left her, or maybe it's the power of the star she now carries with her, but she's never been so nervous in her life.
Regardless of how she felt at first, she makes it through most of the shift without a problem. In fact she gets kind of bored just driving around, they gave one speeding ticket, but that's it. She starts to question whether this was really what she wanted when she said she wanted to keep their city safe. Her thoughts are cut short when they get a call about a domestic disturbance. Antonio races to the address and her adrenaline starts pumping as the sirens blare loudly.
Antonio leads the way, as they walk up to a yellow and white house in the middle of Chicago's suburbs. Lindsay puts her hands in her pockets, as they get to the stairs. Antonio stops to correct her
"Keep your hands out of your pockets; you need to be able to get to your weapons quickly if they're needed." He whispers.
"Sorry." She says as she takes her hands out of her pockets. He doesn't say anything, instead lightly knocking on the door. Not even a minute later, and a blonde women comes to open the door, and lets them in, and then they're led down a short hallway to the kitchen.
"This is Jay Halstead, he got home a little bit ago, and his father started yelling at, and hitting him."
"And you witnessed this?" Antonio questions.
"I heard Patrick yelling, so I called you all. Then I went over to check on them, and Jay was like this."
"Is this true Mr. Halstead?" Antonio asks
"Yup." Jay says, removing the bag of peas from his face briefly. Then his eyes lock with Erin's, both of them feeling a sort of pull between them. Erin gives him a sad smile, before listening to her training officer.
"Ok well we'll have to go talk to your father, but we'll be back, sit tight." Antonio says next, before turning to leave the house. Erin continues to stare into Jay's bright blue green eyes, before following after Dawson. When they get to the Halstead residence, Patrick is sitting out on the porch waiting for them. The skin on his cheek is split slightly, and Erin feels the urge to laugh knowing that even in his drunken state, Jay still got at least one decent hit in. And as he begins to talk Erin wishes that she could hit him too.
"Are you going to arrest that prick, for trespassing or something?"
"Does your son not live here?" Erin questions.
"Not anymore."
"Since when?" Antonio asks
"After tonight, I don't want to ever see him again; he's dead to me, just like his mother." He hisses.
"Well we can't arrest him for trespassing if he lived here up until this moment."
"He technically hasn't been home for years."
"Sir, we're just going to let you both off with a warning." Antonio says, already feeling defeated, and as if they're wasting their time.
"We can escort your son to get his things, if you'd like." Antonio suggests, still wanting to avoid any further confrontation between this father and son.
"Alright, yeah we'll do that."
"Ok sir, my partner here will bring your son over, if you'd like to go somewhere until he's done"
"Yeah we can go to the den in the back of the house." Patrick says quietly, and Antonio nods at Erin to go get Jay.
XXXXXX
She knocks, and Ms. Denton opens the door again. She walks to where she last saw the younger Halstead.
"Your father has agreed to allow you to get your belongings, so I'm going to escort you, while my partner stays with him." She says, and he nods.
"You can spend the night here dear, and we'll figure the rest out tomorrow."
"Thanks again Ms. Denton." Jay says as they leave.
"So I bet you see stuff like this all the time huh?" He asks as they slowly walk from one house to another
"Not really."
"That doesn't make me feel better." He slurs, which causes Erin to chuckle.
"It's my first night, so I haven't seen anything like this." She says, and thinks 'At least not on the job.'
"Well this ought to be a memorable first night on the job then." He says next with a half smile, but his eyes hold this sort of sadness, and it only makes her want to get to know him more.
'You have no idea.' She thinks to herself, and she wished she had a card with her name, and number on it, but she doesn't. And she doesn't stop thinking about that, about him, until well after her first shift ended.
XXXXXX
A/N: I'm so nervous about this fic, I hope you all like it. I have the chapters done for the most part, but a few need some finishing touches. I'm starting a new job on Monday, so I think it'll be easiest to just update on a certain day. Please review, let me know what you think, and if it's worth continuing...Thanks, and Much Love!