Hospitality and Handicaps
By PerilousPie
Synopsis: A speculative AU where Ezra has a physical handicap.
Ezra had learned at the age of five that he didn't see like other people. Degenerative myopia, chronic, and no amount of surgery, except short of an eye transplant or prosthetic, would fix the problem. Ephraim and Mira had looked at their pathetic bundle of savings and then begged the doctor, because so many things had already been taken away from Ezra because of the Empire and they couldn't stand to see the boy deprived of yet another.
The doctor had shaken their head, told them that even if their meager amount had been enough, no doctor within ten thousand parsecs of Lothal had the equipment or knowledge to treat their son; the outer rim was too far from civilization. Far be it for the Bridgers to sigh and moan, they dried their tears and Mira had looked at her smiling, sweet little boy and realized that he could be happy without the quality of sight, weren't there plenty of sentient beings who functioned without this sense?
So for two years, Ezra, through his parents' careful but not coddling actions, figured out how to live without seeing much beyond blurs. In fact, little did they know, the unfortunate event was strengthening the boy's connection with the force as he relied on it to guide him. He became so adept at movement, somehow sensing what things were and where they were, an uncanny ability -all thanks to the force- which caused the parents to breathe in relief.
Then it was all swept away and Ezra, by circumstance turned a street rat, nearly forgot in the seven years that he spent on the street that he didn't see like other people.
He met the crew of the Ghost, and besides the slight puzzlement Kanan expressed at Ezra's advanced and highly intuitive relationship with the force, no one could tell. At least not at first.
Chopper was the first. After saving the Wookies, Ezra had been shoved in the medbay by Hera who insisted that, parents or no parents, she wasn't going to return damaged goods to Lothal. Ezra had humphed, but eventually sat down on the table, secretly pleased that someone was giving him motherly attention. Hera checked him over and asked Chopper to run a diagnostic using some offhand med software that was able to be used external to his hard drive.
Chopper had chirped in annoyance, but all the same he ran it. The data informed him that Ezra's cornea was so curved it was a wonder the boy could see anything. Chopper said nothing about it, the organic could get about just fine so it wasn't a problem for him.
Sabine was the second. It's said that one who has an eye for art can often spot someone else who does as well, or rather in this case, who does not. It started with the annoying habit Ezra had of asking her to describe her work. He'd start with a general question about it, and Sabine, the first time, had assumed he meant the inspiration and symbolism. The boy had blockheadedly nodded at her passionate speech with a sort of dumb indifference before then gesturing at the artwork and asking, yet again, for her to describe it.
She'd thought it was a ploy to get more time with her, and maybe it was, but there was no denying the strange look in Ezra's eye when she would detail the colors and the shape, in a somewhat irritated or amused voice depending on her mood. It was a look of curiosity about the unknown, bright eyed innocence about something you had never experienced. The nearest Sabine could think of it, was when she was six and her brother Tristan had returned from a visit to a nearby planet and told her stories about this magical item called a snoball. She'd sat in rapture as he'd described it, asking question after question and feeling no end of envy.
Sabine wasn't stupid, and as Ezra continued the behavior, that look never leaving and his interest genuine in her artwork, she'd started to think. Blind was her first thought, but that wouldn't explain the way Ezra tracked things with his eyes, with or without sound, and the way he moved. Still, it nagged at her and the suspicion was planted.
Zeb was third.
The discovery was an unintentional argument, one that stepped on toes and ruffled feathers. They'd been on a shopping trip, sent out by Hera who'd grown sick of them fighting on her ship. The two had grumbled before then setting out on their way.
The market was always busy, always crowded with people and smells and sounds and what seemed like everything in the galaxy. Zeb sort of pushed his way through the milling people while Ezra dodged and spun or just followed in Zeb's wake. They'd gotten most everything on Hera's list when they'd come upon a man handing out fliers and talking about the oppression of the Empire on the good people of Lothal. Zeb snatched one out of curiosity and Ezra crowded up at his elbow, peering at the paper curiously.
"What's it say?" Ezra asked.
Zeb growled, pushing the boy away.
"Why don't you get your own and read it yourself," he snapped.
Ezra didn't say anything, falling a step behind with a pout on his face. After several minutes of intentional silence, a little figurative storm cloud hanging over Ezra, Zeb glanced back with just a bit of guilt.
"Jeez kid, it's just a paper, if you really wanna read it, here you go," he held the paper out.
Ezra just shrugged, looking away. The upturned nose disgruntled Zeb.
"Just read the blasted thing, alright, it's not like it says much," Zeb said, shoving it at Ezra.
"I don't want to," Ezra replied waspishly.
"You don't want to? You're friggin' mental kid, you might as well since I don't need it," Zeb pressed.
It felt like this whole thing was ridiculous, Ezra was making a mountain out of a mole hill. The only reason Zeb was still trying was because he'd promised himself he'd try to go easy on the kid, the recent Empire day thing and Ezra's parents making Zeb remember his own grief.
"I don't want to!" Ezra yelled, eye blazing in defiance.
"Forget it!" Zeb shouted back, throwing his hands up in the air after discarding the paper on the market ground.
They continued on their way back. It wasn't a few minutes later that Zeb glanced back at the kid and saw that he had the paper clutched in his hand.
"Hey, didn't I throw that out?" He said, turning around again.
Ezra held the paper to his chest protectively.
"Yeah, so, finders keepers," Ezra snarled.
"What is it with you and that paper! You don't want to read, now you do! Why don't you just bloody read it already and make up your mind!" Zeb exploded, fed up with trying to be nice to the absolutely infuriating little brat.
"I can't!" Ezra yelled, chest heaving as he kept the paper to his chest.
"I can't," he said a little softer.
Zeb crumpled, he felt like right bantha fodder.
"Look, I," Zeb started, nervously rubbing his head, "sorry."
Ezra's eyes looked away and he shrugged.
"I-if you want me to teach you-" Zeb let the offer hang in the air.
Ezra however turned up a perturbed frown, gazing at Zeb in confusion.
"But I can't read," he said.
It was Zeb's turn to be confused.
"Well, you can learn," he said, not understanding the problem.
"My eyes, I can't."
The awkward silence fell once again.
"Oh," was all Zeb could manage.
It was silent.
"Then how d'you-" Zeb gestured with his hand.
"The force."
"Oh."
That was all that was said about it, Zeb just assumed that everyone else knew.
Kanan was fourth.
It was a rather importune time when he did learn, and it only happened after a good deal of stress and worry.
"I can't see, I can't see," Ezra was gasping desperately, hand twined in Kanan's shirt.
They'd been blindsided by the Inquisitor and a group of Stormtroopers. It was supposed to have been a simple op, Sabine would distract the convoy's protection detail and then Ezra, Zeb and Kanan would swoop in and snatch up the Imperial goods. It was far from simple, apparently their intel had been planted because an entire squadron was waiting for them with their back up being a red light saber. Not that they didn't deal with nasty surprises all the time, too often if you asked Kanan. But something about it all felt more wrong than usual and Kanan had had some vague prescient feeling that something bad was going to happen.
He'd been right, not that he'd wanted to be, and was currently sitting on the floor of the transport with a padawan in the throes of a complete breakdown. They'd shot him with something, some sort of medication or tranquilizer or horrible concoction. Whatever it was, the result wasn't pretty.
"Please, please, I can't see, I can't see, it's so cold," Ezra was crying, actual tears pouring down his face and he was collapsed on the ground.
Kanan was cradling him, trying to think of what to do.
When Ezra had been hit by it, a red furry dart striking his leg which he'd quickly pulled out, nothing had happened and the constant blaster fire and chaos didn't allow Kanan to look or think twice about it. Then, five minutes later, as they had finally gotten a hold of the transport, Zeb driving the thing while Kanan and Ezra were up top, Ezra had just fallen like a sack of bricks. Kanan had barely caught the boy from falling off of the moving vehicle.
He'd dropped down into the transport worried out of his mind, hands dragging Ezra by his armpits while he yelled at Hera to pick them up and for Zeb to please, please go just a little faster because they had all of Hell on their tail. Zeb had tried to ask him about Ezra and Kanan had just shouted at him to drive the friggin' transport.
Now Ezra was clutching at him, blue eyes huge as his eyes were dilated, and crying desperately.
"Make it stop, please, it hurts, please, please," Ezra was begging and Kanan found himself frozen with inaction.
His padawan was in pain and terrified and he had no idea what to do. He'd never seen Ezra like this, the boy was always closed off and impertinent and unwilling to admit weakness. Never had Kanan seen the boy beg or cry, let alone do both at the same time. Instinctively, memories of Billaba comforting him through the force coming to mind, he reached out and tried to sense Ezra. There was nothing and for one short moment he was afraid he'd done something wrong or somehow lost his ability to use the force. Upon reaching out a second time he realized that it wasn't him, the force was there, but it was rather as if Ezra wasn't.
The furry red dart made more sense and everything clicked with an awful stomach dropping sensation. Force inhibitor, that's what had hit Ezra. It was a horrible thing to experience, and it explained the pain and the cold, however, it did not explain the blindness. No sense in meditating on the exact symptoms of a chemical he didn't know more about, there were more pressing matters to attend to, such as surviving long enough to help Ezra.
"I've got a pick up in ten seconds, it's gonna be bumpy," Hera's voice sounded through the comm in warning.
Kanan said nothing, just glad that one salvation was on its way. Looking down at Ezra he wondered if this one would come as quickly.
Ezra had stopped speaking, now just curled into Kanan, tense with his hands gripping Kanan's shirt. Kanan let him, feeling the clammy cold of the boy's skin and his periodic spasms.
Kanan felt the Ghost get hold of the transport, a jarring impact which shook him and his charge. When they were safe, they landed and Kanan helped Ezra to his feet, the boy clung to him, eyes staring forward as if in a trance. He was still trembling.
Hera looked worried, but then again she always looked worried, especially after missions where nothing seemed to go right except the none of them dying part. Zeb was quiet, eyeing Ezra with concern and trepidation. Sabine shot them a look as well, but Kanan just nodded to Hera and told her he would need some time with Ezra. They walked to his bunk, Ezra running into anything Kanan didn't guide him away from. Kanan had been worried as, going up the ladder, he'd had to bring Ezra's hands to the rungs and quietly instruct him. He hoped that the force inhibitor had been only that and that no other damage had been done.
When they finally got to Kanan's bunk, Kanan sat Ezra down and wrapped a blanket around the boy. There wasn't much to be done until the chemical wore off except meditate. If Kanan was clear headed and connected to the force then he would be able to help Ezra better. After about a quarter hour Ezra spoke.
"Kanan?" His voice was weak.
"Right here kid," Kanan replied.
Ezra turned his head, as if he hadn't noticed Kanan until he had spoken.
"I-I can't feel the force," Ezra said with fear.
"Yeah, that'll be the force inhibitor that they shot you with."
"Force inhibitor?" Ezra asked.
"It cuts off a Jedi's biological ability to respond and feel the force, I imagine you're feeling pretty awful after it."
Ezra nodded his head, tucking farther into the blanket.
"I can't see," Ezra mumbled, more to himself than Kanan.
"Yeah, it might be a side effect of the drug," Kanan said, brow furrowed with worry.
Ezra shook his head, "no, the force, it's not there, it helps me see."
Kanan blinked in surprise.
"What do you mean 'helps you see'?"
"It helps me see stuff, everything's a blur, but it helps me just know where stuff it, what if this lasts? What if I never get the force back?" Ezra's voice contained an edge of panic.
Kanan was shocked by this sudden revelation, but he hurried to reassure his padawan.
"It's temporary, you'll get the force back."
Ezra gave a nod looking unsure and afraid. Kanan placed an arm around his shoulder.
"Don't worry, it won't stay gone long."
Hera was the last to know, because either no one had gotten around to telling her, or, everyone assumed she already knew.
She learned when she got Ezra a gift.
They were sitting in the common area, waiting for Hera and Chopper to come back from a little shopping trip in the market. It was a planetary holiday on Lothal celebrating the winter harvest. They didn't really have a harvest now and the Empire had restrictions on celebrations unless they were pertaining to the Empire. Still, it was when the season started to change and it was nice to have something, no matter how small, to celebrate together.
When Hera came walking in with Chopper just behind her and a bag of what they all knew to be goodies, everyone perked up. Hera was smiling, a verdant blush across her cheeks from the chill outside.
"Alright everybody, gather around for Harvest gifts," Hera announced.
Everyone stood up and moved over to the table where Hera had set the bag.
"For Zeb," Hera said, pulling out a strange looking container.
"Gliss!" Zeb said, joyfully accepting the item from Hera, "thank you Hera!"
Ezra frowned in confusion watching Zeb.
"What is it?" He whispered to Sabine.
"A food from Lasan," Sabine replied.
Hera continued, a pleased look on her face at Zeb's reaction.
"For Sabine," Hera pulled out a brown box.
Sabine grabbed it, hands running along it to find the clasp and open the box. Inside was a precision air brush with accompanying paint cans.
"Oh Hera!" Sabine said, beaming, she threw an arm around the Twi'lek in gratitude, "it's perfect."
Hera said a small 'welcome' and turned back to the bag.
"For Kanan," she drew out a dried flower.
Kanan flushed, taking hold of it and looking at Hera in wonderment.
"I haven't seen this since Billaba-" he was speechless.
"I know love," Hera replied, setting hand on his shoulder, "you're welcome."
She turned to the bag again.
"I already gave Chopper his gift, so last but not least, for Ezra," she pulled out a book.
The room got unpleasantly quiet, everyone staring at the item. Hera was confused.
"Thanks Hera!" Ezra said brightly, taking the item and reverently running a hand over its cover.
"Umm, are you sure?" Sabine started talking but stopped short, glancing at Kanan and Zeb for some sort of help.
"Is there a problem?" Hera asked, genuinely concerned.
Ezra shook his head no, looking delighted with his book.
"Ezra can't read," Zeb said bluntly.
Hera looked surprised for a second, then her mouth changed to a smile.
"Well, then I can teach him," she said upbeatly.
"He's blind," Sabine followed up.
Ezra meanwhile had opened the book and was running his fingers along the pages as if he would be able to see it through his fingers.
A horrible silence fell once again and the shock on Hera's face didn't fade.
"Thanks Hera, I love it," Ezra said, looking up at her with a brilliant and genuine smile on his face.
He then walked off, hands still wandering through the pages of the book. Everyone was left behind in an unpleasant silence.
"I-I didn't know, how?" Hera stuttered, staring after where Ezra had disappeared.
Everyone sort of shrugged, they had all assumed Hera knew.
With a frown on her face, Hera headed down the hallway to Ezra's room. Once there she knocked on the door.
"C'mon in," Ezra's voice echoed through the door.
Hera opened the door and stepped in. Ezra was on his bunk, cross legged, with the book in his hand and a look of wonderment on his face.
"Ezra?" Hera said tentatively.
Ezra looked up, eyes bright and clear as always and meeting her gaze.
"Yeah?" He said, looking concerned due to her tone.
Hera went over stood at the bunk.
"I-I didn't know," she said softly.
"Know what?" Ezra asked, genuinely confused.
"Your eyes," she replied.
A look of understanding dawned in Ezra's eyes.
"That's okay, I never told you, and I love the book, I've never had one before."
"But, you can't read it, love," Hera said despairingly, not understanding how the boy couldn't see the glaring faux pas she'd committed.
Ezra did frown at that statement.
"I know, but, maybe, maybe someone can read it to me, my mom and dad would do that," Ezra said quietly, a shine of hope in his eyes.
Hera was a little thrown off. She hesitated before a warm smile grew on her face.
"I would love to."