Title: A fairy tale to send you to sleep
Disclaimer: Standard don't own shit.
Summary: The best, most beautiful things, are always at the tip of our fingertips. (possible sequel to "Steps")
AN/Warnings: A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, I asked Teenager if I could write a fanfic of her fanfic because she inspired me so. XD I was given approval and it's taken me a (long) time to finish and posit it. Hopefully she's still active? I looked up her profile and she hasn't posted anything in a while *cough* and, um, well, I hope you guys find it a little worthy of her greatness. READ STEPS FIRST.
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He has long since sold his soul to the devil.
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Ulquiorra watches the boy run, hair nearly as golden as the sun, but eyes the same icy blue. He is different now and sometimes waves at Ulquiorra when he passes, filled with smiles and innocence. He smells of rainbows and stars and dreams and hope; he is an angel on this Earth; an angel that gained salvation from the damnation above.
He is beautiful.
He is emotion.
He is love; was love; will love; forever love.
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"Visit the mortal realm for soon it will be our kingdom."
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The boy grows older and is soon attending a building where there are other children, though he is popular with them; he prefers to sit alone during recess, watching the clouds float by. Ulquiorra wonders what it is like to relax in such a way. He tries it once, when the children are back inside, and is surprised when a small hand takes his. He is staring at him, warmth in his eyes, and he's untouchable, but he's touching and it's been years and they never really did did they. Him thinking he had all the time in the world and he who knew there was no time and refused it when it was offered and forced into it, but it had been something he did not deserve and then because of it he became irreparable; both of them did. "Can I lay down with you?"
NO. NO. NO. No. No. No. no. no. no.
The boy relaxes, lays down next to him, so small, and he never did listen, did he? This isn't something that's allowed to happen this is impossible this is unreal and this is no. He rises and walks away because he can't do it again, last time he broke and didn't stop breaking and he let everyone come and come and come and the one person he has wanted since then is here but he can't come and come and come because this is not happening.
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"You are mine; I am in here; in your blood; I am your God."
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He stays away for a few years after that, though the human world pulls at him and pulls and sometimes he catches a flash of an arrogant smile of a ghost that has long since been reborn into a life that Ulquiorra could never ever give him; then he is in the bed with Aizen and he is dreaming -only made possible since he first caught sight of cold old eyes- and he doesn't scream or cry and is as silent in bed as he has been since then. Once it could have been petty revenge, now it is because he no longer knows pleasure; he has been waiting for forever for Aizen to tire of him so he can just die and fade away and forever have dreams of blue ice.
Once he was worried he'd forget; now all he can do is remember.
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"Destroy."
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The next time they meet, his hair is blue and his eyes are blue and he wears black and white and his name is the same once again. The only thing that changes is the consideration in his eyes; for once it was love, another time it was awe, and now it is hate. Things must go full circle and Ulqiorra slaughters his teammates, enjoys their screams, likes how one of them turns to Grimmjow, mouth saying and not speaking. He takes his lover just as Grimmjow took his and is sickly satisfied to see something gleaming in Grimmjow's eyes, and maybe it's not just hate, maybe even now though the memories are gone, the emotion still runs deep.
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And when the devil grew tired, he sent him to his death.
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It's a suicide mission. Ulquiorra knows it in the way Gin smiles at him, in the way Aizen touches him reverently. He knows it in the way his not-heart pounds in anticipation, in desire for battle, in a way it hasn't for at least a century. He knows he will enjoy his death, can already feel the embrace of darkness and thinks it will be enough, hopefully, finally.
But that was fine, because now he had his angel again.
Grimmjow will know only two grieves in his long life (hewillgrieveagaininanotherone). The first is when his fiancée is hacked down (and it had been a drunken mistake but that doesn't mean he didn't care for her) and the second when Quatro Espada bleeds to death for him during the final battle of the War against Hueco Mundo.
"I loved you until I was crazy."