UGH okay I'm being flooded with 3x09 feels, and that combined with a friend headcanoning in my ear has resulted in this little ficlet thingy.
I can say nothing more than the usual "I disclaim TWD and affiliates etc etc" and also "OH GOD HELP ME I'M DROWING IN A POOL OF MY OWN TEARS"
Because massive feelings all around, you know.
Enjoy!
"I need to talk to your brother. Alone."
Daryl chewed on his lip as Merle huffed for a moment at Rick's command.
They'd come to an understanding, trekking through the woods for a day and Daryl felt sure Merle knew that this time around, none of them were kidding. It was Rick's way or the highway. And Daryl had Rick's back. Merle didn't like it, but at this point, Daryl didn't give two shits.
Things were bad with the group. Daryl couldn't just leave them all hanging.
So he'd dragged Merle with him to the prison gates and vouched for him himself to get them inside.
"One chance. If he looks at someone the wrong way send 'im off on his own."
Merle had blinked in a fucking stupor when he'd said it, then set that old 'watch yer tongue, boy' glare on him that usually had Daryl backing down.
Not this time.
Despite every nerve in Daryl's body screaming at him to duck his head and retreat back into the woods behind his brother, he stood his ground and for once, laid down the law for Merle to follow.
Merle was still leering at him as he turned to trudge behind Glenn and Carl, being led from the gates into the prison to a group that neither liked nor wanted him.
Didn't matter.
Not anymore.
Daryl forced his gaze from his brother's back and focused on Rick, who exhaled sharply and suddenly seemed to fall against the fence, sagging into it. Hands flew up to his face, and Rick dug the heels of his hands into his eye sockets.
Something fell in Daryl's gut.
The man looked two seconds away from dying of exhaustion.
"Ya look like hell."
Rick laughed, but didn't pull his hands away. His head shook, slowly.
"Feel it, too. Daryl, I….."
Another sharp exhale. Almost as if he was struggling to breathe.
"S'wrong?"
Rick sighed. Lowered a hand to grip at the fence, steadying himself. His exposed eye blinked at the sun, rolling slightly before settling on him. Daryl shifted a few feet away. His own hand itched to reach out and grab Rick's shoulder, keeping him from swaying, falling…
He didn't move. Just stood and fidgeted with his fucking fingernails.
"I'm glad you came back. I…need a break."
Daryl blinked.
Said nothing.
Rick grunted against the sun, lowered his other hand and his left eyes blared bloodshot from where he'd been rubbing at it. Daryl frowned when Rick's lips suddenly peeled back, his teeth flashing with a sudden, cracking sob.
"I'm losing it, Daryl. I can't do it. I'm losing my grip."
A tear fell. Daryl saw it. His frown deepened and his nerves lit up, forcing his feet back a step from the emotional man he called 'friend and leader'. He'd done enough in the past few hours, steeling himself against Merle. He honestly wasn't sure he could handle Rick alone if the man went Rambo on him.
"What happened?" Daryl's voice came out low and unsteady, and for a moment Rick seemed to not hear it at all.
And then he slid down the fence, sat on his ass in the dirt and peered up at him, beaten.
"I'm hearing things. Seeing…."He paused, swallowed. Daryl stepped forward to hear him better.
"I keep seeing Lori. Right there, right in front of me. Just…watching. Like she's….judging me, or….or trying to tell me something, I don't know but—"
His hands flew up again, gripped at his sweat-soaked, graying hair. Pulled at it.
"She's not there. I know she isn't. I know she's gone, Daryl. I just can't handle it..."
Daryl felt himself kneel, lean in slightly to hear Rick's mumbling.
He didn't like this. He didn't like where it was going.
"I can't do it right now. I need you to take the reins for a bit."
Daryl shook his head before Rick even finished the sentence, reaching out to finger the fence himself.
"Naw…not me. I ain't a leader, Rick. Don't wanna be."
"I need you to be."
Rick's quick, clear, desperate rebuttal froze any further protest and Daryl held his breath, watching as the man pinned him with the pleading eyes of a man at the end of his rope.
He didn't respond to the comment, didn't agree to what Rick was asking of him.
As the voices of the group, of their family reached his ears from up the hill Daryl simply gripped the fence with one hand and slipped the other under Rick's arm, lifting them both from the dusty yard.
A glance at the block entrance and he could make out the smiling faces of Beth, Maggie, Hershel, and Carol….
Even the con was rushing out the door to greet him.
Daryl supported the failing strength in Rick's body and froze when a hand clamped on his free shoulder.
Rick forced him to meet his eyes and in them Daryl saw a haze of loss and gratitude.
"You were right about Carol. She did understand. But she was still upset, shocked that you'd left like you did. You….you should talk to her…"Daryl flicked his gaze from Rick's to the woman rushing down to meet them, and then back when the fingers on his shoulder tightened.
"You never know if you'll ever get a second chance."