Author's Notes;
This is a companion piece to Nothing, which should be read first. It's is also slightly less well-written than Nothing, which makes me quite sad. Every time I tweak it, it seems to get worse, though, and it's too pivotal to Nothing to leave unposted. I hope someone will enjoy it.Disclaimer
; Dahling, don't I just wish.NEED
Alex needed Fidget.
For something so complicated, it was all too simple.
Too easy; the way the pressure wormed itself into him again and again and again. The way every day… Every goddamn day, someone threw the weight of the world on him. Everyone expected him to do so well, to save to world, to win a competition.
He had the pressure bearing down on him continually. It was the first thing he thought about when he drew himself out of the unconsciousness of sleep, and the last thing when he put himself back into it. But, even in his dreams he was haunted by the responsibility of his role.
No rest for the weary
.Throughout the last two months he had sought out every method of relief he could find. In a way, it was kind of ironic, how things turned out. He had searched and searched, to no avail, when that mysterious something; his shelter from the world, was right in front of him all along.
It had come in the form of one of his best friends ---an utterly beautifully passionate camerawoman. Their first time together was slow and wicked and deeply passionate all at once, and it left him feeling so complete afterward. She had left him with the peace he had been longing for, and he loved her for it.
He had come to her repeatedly, after that. Each time leaving him feeling so… full; as if all the life in the world was suddenly inside him; everything was new and fresh and sweet again. His responsibilities would simply fade into the background; the meaningless white noise of downtown behind him as he stood in front of a violin player on the street.
But it wasn't just the sex. No, far from it. She was not his whore, and he refused to let her become one. She was a solstice, an Artemis protecting him from all that would harm him as fiercely as a tiger, and at the same time so warm and gentle and enveloping.
He didn't love her; at least he didn't think so. This was so much deeper, softer, wickeder than any love he had ever felt before. He supposed she loved him; otherwise why would she let him into her bed like this? Or maybe she did it because she knew he needed it. Because maybe she knew that without this, without her, he would give up, and be forced to end it all.
All his friends had something unique to offer --some comfort in the storm. And they all understood how much he needed them. How the burden seemed less with them.
Fidget only more so.