By My Side
A slit on my arms and it ends,
And as the crimson velvet melts
All across my pure, pale skin,
My mind flashes back to why-
Why what? Why I am doing this.
What brought me here. The answer
Matters no longer, and I can
Scarcely recall the question.
Even so, my mind flashes to the past-
The not so distant past-when death
Enveloped me and claimed my soul
As its own, as a convicted prisoner's.
My name is Sam. My life was perfect-
I had two best friends, one with whom
I entertained thoughts of a more
Permanent relationship-I had hoped. . .
Once upon a time, as a fairy tale phrases,
I left my best friend's house.
It was certainly well after dark,
But why did I never see it coming?
Just being out like that. I could-
Maybe-have asked Danny to fly
Me home. But I didn't. So I must
Now live with the consequences.
I only lived a few blocks away.
He lived in one part of Amity Park,
And I in another. No big deal.
But between here and there. . .
It happened. My stubborn streak
Came out. He even told me-somehow,
Danny knew. Bad spirits don't only
Roam free: They reign in others as well.
That night, such a one found me.
Alone and traveling, he grabbed me-
Sam Manson!-only one of three,
But one was all that was needed.
In that time, I was trapped.
Nothing could stop the powers
Of hell of their encroachment-
on me! I pleaded, and yes-
I even prayed. But no answer came.
I was forsaken in my hour of need.
The look in their eyes completely
Drove away all sanity I once held.
Why, God! Why did it happen!
You gave me something unbearable.
These three men-they violated me-
ME!-me, who has never, EVER
Wronged anyone! I was punished.
I don't know what I did, but it
Must have been terrible-for me
To deserve this retribution.
Once these men had their way-
Violating my body and taking
What should never have been theirs,
They dropped me off, somewhere.
From those fearful moments before
It happened I have little recollection.
I've had practice-my conscious self
Fled to the safe recesses of my mind.
And from there on out, I just wanted to-
To believe it hadn't happened. But
Denial doesn't make it so. I'm not
Sure how I got home, but I know this:
Those three vultures taught me what
I had always known, deep inside.
No life, especially mine, has ever
Been worth living. So here I am-
Stained knife in hand, slowly falling-
Falling, falling to the kitchen floor.
A beautiful face rushes towards mine,
But I am far beyond caring.
Nothing-not even Danny who now
Is by my side-can convince me
That what I'm doing isn't right.
I have been rejected by my own
Too many times. Of what worth or
Reason do I stay? No. It's better
This way. Those who care can live
Better without me, by their side.
Soon I shall join the shadows
And the wraiths which haunt
My dreams. By embracing death's
Horrid minions I find my escape.
I have decided, and as I see
The bloody river run free of its
Natural course, I float in bliss,
Away from the insolence-
The incriminating evidence inside me.
No one is by my side now-or ever.
I am, and always have been, alone.
Just, hold my hand in this dire hour.
Danny, Tucker, good-bye.
Be by my side, and meet me-
In the future of your lives-
Where we fought those wraiths. . .
Those wraiths to whom I go now to join.
One day, perhaps, we'll meet in the
Fighting grounds of. . . the ghost zone.
Don't stop me. It's better this way.
This way, I'll finally be by your side.