Tales of an Italian Plumber - Episode 1: "Sorry, but the fanfic is in another castle."
By Tim'sOK
Or Tim
Or... Yeah.
Mario and Luigi and the others, as well as Bowser, all belong to Nintendo or something, all meaning that I can;t be sued. I think.
-----
It was a whimisical day in the mushroom village, and everyone was merry and jolly and something.
Mario: What are you talking about? I'm spending the evening at Luigi's eating pizza and watching TV. What's jolly about that?
[Well... you have pizza]
Mario: True.
[Can I have a slice?]
Mario: ...No.
And so they ate and watched, but little did they know that far off, lurking in his dungeon the evil King Bowser was cooking up a scheme...
Bowser: GRAAAAAAAAAAARGH
King Thwomp: He says he wants to destroy Mario.
Koopas: (in unsion) Again?!
Bullies: But that's what we always do!
Thwomps: And we all get stood on!
Boos: Couldn't we just do some flower arranging?
Bowser: GRAAAAAAAAAARGH!
King Thwomp: Apparently not.
Boos: So what's the master plan this time?
Bowser: BWAAAAAAAARGH! GRAAH! BWAAAAAAAH!
King Thwomp: Hmmm. Interesting.
Boos: What did he say?
King Thwomp: The plan is, we send a giant inflatable Bowser to destroy Mario.
Single Bully: Sorry, but how is that going to work in the slightest?
[Everyone in the dungeon turns on the single bully, eyes blazing]
Single Bully: Eeeep.
[Single Bully is stomped repeatedly]
King Thwomp: LET THE CONSTRUCTION COMMENCE!
[Back at Luigi's place]
Luigi: We seem'a to have run out'a pizza. A.
Mario: Stop faking the accent.
Luigi: Yessir.
Mario: No more pizza, eh? Perhaps we should try making our own. With our own choice of toppings... say... mushroom?
[Mario and Luigi turn to Toad, who is sitting in the corner playing a GameBoy]
Toad: *looking up from GB* ...Huh?
[Mario and Luigi have evil glints in their eyes]
Toad: Erm... *speeds off through the door*
Mario: Ah well, we'll just have to find something else to do.
Luigi: Yep.
Mario: ...Hmmm.
Luigi: ...
Mario: This sucks.
Luigi: Yes. Yes it does.
[There is a knock on the door]
Mario: Hey! A letter!
Luigi: Open it! Open it!
[What are you, twelve?]
Luigi: Quiet.
Mario: Hey! Three free tickets to Super Mario Planet!
Luigi: You mean Super Mario Land?
Mario: No, this one must have sprung up overnight.
King Thwomp: LITERALLY! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
Mario: *looking around* Did you hear something?
Luigi: No. Gimme the tickets.
Mario: Don't you find it suspicious that there is a Bowser emblem on these tickets? In fact, it says right here, in fine print, 'Haha, fools, prepare to meet your destruction! I can't belive you are going to fall for a trap as simple or obvious as this! Man, you must be real idiots.'
Luigi: No one reads the fine print. Just get in the car.
AND SO THEY WENT TO SUPERMARIOWORLD, LUIGI, MARIO AND TOAD.
Mario: Well, here we are.
Luigi: Looks deserted.
Toad: I'm here too! Yipee! I'm a mushroom man! Woo! I need sugar! Sugar! GIMMEH SUGAR!
Mario: FOAD, Toad.
Toad: YESSIR! CANDY FLOSS! SWEETS! CHOcolate! baked beans... stuff... cake... *slowly gets quieter as he skips away*
Mario: well then.
Luigi: I'M going to the hall of mirrors!
Mario: I'M going to go on that rollercoaster!
Luigi: Rollercoaster?
Mario: Yeah! That one, over there, you see it? The one with the sign with 'DANGER! UNFINISHED TRACK!' Scribbled out and "Ideal for Marios" Written in red Koopen.
Luigi: Mari-
Mario: QUIET! TO THE ROLLERCOASTER!
Luigi: But I was going to go in the hal-
Mario: Look, if you come on the rollercoaster with me I'll buy you a bootleg Fawful "I HAT FURY" cap from that stall over there.
Luigi: ^_^
AND SO THEY WENT INTO THE ROLLERCOASTER QUEUE AREA
Mario: That's odd... there's no operator...
Luigi: Do you hear a low rumbling sound?
Mario: Yes, it's coming from outside.
Luigi: Hmm... look at that... a Bowser balloon!
Mario: It's huge!
Luigi: It's got a rocket launcher!
Mario: Which it is aiming at us!
BANG! BOOM! 'SPLODE!
Mario: LUIGI! I WILL AVENGE YOU! *Jumps at Inflat-O-Bowser*
Luigi: I'm right here.
Mario: Argh! I just keep bouncing off it!
Luigi: Mario, it's a giant balloon.
Mario: Your point?
Luigi: Exactly. *pops Inflat-O-Bowser*
Inflat-O-Bowser: GRAAAAAAAARGH! I'M MELTING... MEEEEEEEEEELTING OR POPPING...
Mario: Oh. Well then. Hmmm, don't you think something is a little... suspicious?
Luigi: I think I understand... You mean this was a bit... clever... for a Bowser plan?
Mario: Exactly. Defeating him this time was slightly harder than usual.
King Thwomp: That's because I THOUGHT IT UP! IT WAS ALL ME!
Luigi: You mean it was YOU who created the Inflat-O-Bowser?
King Thwomp: INDEED
Mario: You created an entire theme park just to unleash a balloon on us?
King Thwomp: YES I DID
Luigi: And you're here now to destroy us?
King Thwomp: OH YES
Mario: I don't think so.
King Thwomp: OH NO! WHAT'RE YOU GOING TO DO, STOMP ON ME?! HAHAHA! I HAVE COME PREPARED! *presses button which covers KT in mecha-armour*
Mario: Actually, no.
King Thwomp: WHAT, THEN?
Mario: I'm going to sue you for copyright infringement.
King Thwomp: o_o; Pardon?
Mario: "Super Mario Planet" is a clear breach of the copyrighted "Super Mario Land" and "Super Mario World", both belonging to the Nintendo company, all rights reserved. I'll see you in court.
King Thwomp: Oh, god no...
A WEEK LATER, IN MARIO AND LUIGI'S CASTLE, RECENTLY BOUGHT WITH THE MONEY WON IN THE COURT CASE AGAINST KING THWOMP AND BOWSER
Luigi: Well, that's the kitchen sink's pipes fixed.
Mario: Luigi, you've been gone for days.
Luigi: Oh, it's a funny thing, see, when I was fixing the pipes, I accidentally feel down one of them and ended up in-
Mario: Nevermind, actually. Well, I'm just glad that that whole Inflat-O-Bowser business is over with. Now we can live in peace.
Luigi: I agree.
Mario: All loose ends have been tied up, of course.
Luigi: Oh yes.
Mario: ...
Luigi: ...
Mario: ...
Luigi: ...You're on fire.
Mario: Oh.
FIN...
...ISHED.
By Tim'sOK
Or Tim
Or... Yeah.
Mario and Luigi and the others, as well as Bowser, all belong to Nintendo or something, all meaning that I can;t be sued. I think.
-----
It was a whimisical day in the mushroom village, and everyone was merry and jolly and something.
Mario: What are you talking about? I'm spending the evening at Luigi's eating pizza and watching TV. What's jolly about that?
[Well... you have pizza]
Mario: True.
[Can I have a slice?]
Mario: ...No.
And so they ate and watched, but little did they know that far off, lurking in his dungeon the evil King Bowser was cooking up a scheme...
Bowser: GRAAAAAAAAAAARGH
King Thwomp: He says he wants to destroy Mario.
Koopas: (in unsion) Again?!
Bullies: But that's what we always do!
Thwomps: And we all get stood on!
Boos: Couldn't we just do some flower arranging?
Bowser: GRAAAAAAAAAARGH!
King Thwomp: Apparently not.
Boos: So what's the master plan this time?
Bowser: BWAAAAAAAARGH! GRAAH! BWAAAAAAAH!
King Thwomp: Hmmm. Interesting.
Boos: What did he say?
King Thwomp: The plan is, we send a giant inflatable Bowser to destroy Mario.
Single Bully: Sorry, but how is that going to work in the slightest?
[Everyone in the dungeon turns on the single bully, eyes blazing]
Single Bully: Eeeep.
[Single Bully is stomped repeatedly]
King Thwomp: LET THE CONSTRUCTION COMMENCE!
[Back at Luigi's place]
Luigi: We seem'a to have run out'a pizza. A.
Mario: Stop faking the accent.
Luigi: Yessir.
Mario: No more pizza, eh? Perhaps we should try making our own. With our own choice of toppings... say... mushroom?
[Mario and Luigi turn to Toad, who is sitting in the corner playing a GameBoy]
Toad: *looking up from GB* ...Huh?
[Mario and Luigi have evil glints in their eyes]
Toad: Erm... *speeds off through the door*
Mario: Ah well, we'll just have to find something else to do.
Luigi: Yep.
Mario: ...Hmmm.
Luigi: ...
Mario: This sucks.
Luigi: Yes. Yes it does.
[There is a knock on the door]
Mario: Hey! A letter!
Luigi: Open it! Open it!
[What are you, twelve?]
Luigi: Quiet.
Mario: Hey! Three free tickets to Super Mario Planet!
Luigi: You mean Super Mario Land?
Mario: No, this one must have sprung up overnight.
King Thwomp: LITERALLY! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
Mario: *looking around* Did you hear something?
Luigi: No. Gimme the tickets.
Mario: Don't you find it suspicious that there is a Bowser emblem on these tickets? In fact, it says right here, in fine print, 'Haha, fools, prepare to meet your destruction! I can't belive you are going to fall for a trap as simple or obvious as this! Man, you must be real idiots.'
Luigi: No one reads the fine print. Just get in the car.
AND SO THEY WENT TO SUPERMARIOWORLD, LUIGI, MARIO AND TOAD.
Mario: Well, here we are.
Luigi: Looks deserted.
Toad: I'm here too! Yipee! I'm a mushroom man! Woo! I need sugar! Sugar! GIMMEH SUGAR!
Mario: FOAD, Toad.
Toad: YESSIR! CANDY FLOSS! SWEETS! CHOcolate! baked beans... stuff... cake... *slowly gets quieter as he skips away*
Mario: well then.
Luigi: I'M going to the hall of mirrors!
Mario: I'M going to go on that rollercoaster!
Luigi: Rollercoaster?
Mario: Yeah! That one, over there, you see it? The one with the sign with 'DANGER! UNFINISHED TRACK!' Scribbled out and "Ideal for Marios" Written in red Koopen.
Luigi: Mari-
Mario: QUIET! TO THE ROLLERCOASTER!
Luigi: But I was going to go in the hal-
Mario: Look, if you come on the rollercoaster with me I'll buy you a bootleg Fawful "I HAT FURY" cap from that stall over there.
Luigi: ^_^
AND SO THEY WENT INTO THE ROLLERCOASTER QUEUE AREA
Mario: That's odd... there's no operator...
Luigi: Do you hear a low rumbling sound?
Mario: Yes, it's coming from outside.
Luigi: Hmm... look at that... a Bowser balloon!
Mario: It's huge!
Luigi: It's got a rocket launcher!
Mario: Which it is aiming at us!
BANG! BOOM! 'SPLODE!
Mario: LUIGI! I WILL AVENGE YOU! *Jumps at Inflat-O-Bowser*
Luigi: I'm right here.
Mario: Argh! I just keep bouncing off it!
Luigi: Mario, it's a giant balloon.
Mario: Your point?
Luigi: Exactly. *pops Inflat-O-Bowser*
Inflat-O-Bowser: GRAAAAAAAARGH! I'M MELTING... MEEEEEEEEEELTING OR POPPING...
Mario: Oh. Well then. Hmmm, don't you think something is a little... suspicious?
Luigi: I think I understand... You mean this was a bit... clever... for a Bowser plan?
Mario: Exactly. Defeating him this time was slightly harder than usual.
King Thwomp: That's because I THOUGHT IT UP! IT WAS ALL ME!
Luigi: You mean it was YOU who created the Inflat-O-Bowser?
King Thwomp: INDEED
Mario: You created an entire theme park just to unleash a balloon on us?
King Thwomp: YES I DID
Luigi: And you're here now to destroy us?
King Thwomp: OH YES
Mario: I don't think so.
King Thwomp: OH NO! WHAT'RE YOU GOING TO DO, STOMP ON ME?! HAHAHA! I HAVE COME PREPARED! *presses button which covers KT in mecha-armour*
Mario: Actually, no.
King Thwomp: WHAT, THEN?
Mario: I'm going to sue you for copyright infringement.
King Thwomp: o_o; Pardon?
Mario: "Super Mario Planet" is a clear breach of the copyrighted "Super Mario Land" and "Super Mario World", both belonging to the Nintendo company, all rights reserved. I'll see you in court.
King Thwomp: Oh, god no...
A WEEK LATER, IN MARIO AND LUIGI'S CASTLE, RECENTLY BOUGHT WITH THE MONEY WON IN THE COURT CASE AGAINST KING THWOMP AND BOWSER
Luigi: Well, that's the kitchen sink's pipes fixed.
Mario: Luigi, you've been gone for days.
Luigi: Oh, it's a funny thing, see, when I was fixing the pipes, I accidentally feel down one of them and ended up in-
Mario: Nevermind, actually. Well, I'm just glad that that whole Inflat-O-Bowser business is over with. Now we can live in peace.
Luigi: I agree.
Mario: All loose ends have been tied up, of course.
Luigi: Oh yes.
Mario: ...
Luigi: ...
Mario: ...
Luigi: ...You're on fire.
Mario: Oh.
FIN...
...ISHED.