Forever…
An eternity…
What a long time…
What a hideously long time…
Leo never liked the idea of forever…
For humans forever meant just the little time they would be alive. It seemed so easy for them to make promise of forever and keep it. I die, forever is over for me. You die, forever is over for you. So simple, so easy.
For a celestial spirit, an immortal being like himself, it was so long, so very long. It was hard, no, impossible; it was impossible for him to make a promise of forever. He could never make that promise.
When does his forever start?
From his birth?
Was he … borned?
He didn't remember.
The oldest memory he had been of emptiness and despair and darkness.
Before celestial magic was invented the spirits were all drowning in their own feelings.
It was horrible feeling of nothing. Of having no purpose. Of never dieing. Of never needing anything. Of fear of never finding joy. Of despair.
What reasons did they have to live? Sure, they could build some sort of civilization, but what after? Yes, they could keep it improving; keep trying to unveil the secrets of Nature; but what then? They could live comfortably, but why?
Humans live because they are afraid to die. They kept struggling not to die and if we're living then why not make it easy and fun? Their purpose was not to die. But was the purpose of the lives of the spirits?
All spirits lied on the floor of their world, trying to fight that feeling. But it was useless war. A war none could win. Those emotions ate them alive and yet they lived.
Why was god punishing them? What crime did they commit? Why wouldn't god just let them die? Any punishment in hell seemed better than this. Or maybe… this was hell. Maybe this was punishment for some horrible deed. They were proven wrong.
Leo didn't remember the human who first managed to link their world to Earthland. But he was ever so grateful to him (or her, he forgot). Spirits finally found their reason to exist.
Leo didn't remember his first master… but he did remember he was cruel. He was used as shield, just a weapon, just some puppet. But he never had been so happy! Those tortures kept away the despair.
He didn't remember anything until Henry after that, the young 13 year old who admired him so much. His young master didn't treat him like tool. Henry was innocent and physically weak. He summoned Leo to protect himself. But every time Leo got the least bit injured, his eyes would fill with regret. Leo was astonished. Henry was so, so kind…
Leo forgot how Henry grew up…
But likes to think he'll never forget about this. But he knows he will eventually.
He still remembered the time when he helped his master out with Olivia, the normally sweet girl, who rejected Henry no matter what he did. It wasn't because she was one of those girls who were gorgeous, stuck-up and was proposed on a daily basis. In fact Olivia wasn't considered beautiful at all. Half her face was burned in horrible fire. She was feared and rejected by society. Children cried at her presence, people threw her away. And Henry was the one to defend her. The normally timid boy turned furious when ever someone dared speak ill of her. He stared at her terrifying face with awed eyes. He would go to hell and back for her.
He was madly in love with her.
It wasn't until the two got married Leo found out that it was much the same for Olivia. Henry often left Leo to protect his wife when he went hunting. Olivia would be so worried if he was late. One time when Henry didn't come back for almost three days, she went crazy. She barely ate, slept or did anything but wait for the boy. She confessed to Leo about her feelings for his master. Olivia loved Henry. Too much. So much that she rejected the man because she didn't want Henry to spend his life with her. She was hideous and her husband deserved better. But she was too selfish to let the love of her life go. Leo realized that they were two piece of the whole.
Love was such a beautiful thing…
Everything was perfect … until one day the when Olivia died. And Henry, not being able to withstand the pain of loosing her, followed soon after.
Leo was shocked. He refused to take another master for a good six months. Loosing a friend hurt too much.
For the first time Leo realized humans were much stronger than he thought.
The six months he stayed in the celestial spirit world, he thought about his life. What pitiful being he was. Henry was his first friend and one day he just might forget him. Forget about the sacred bond they held.
Living forever isn't a blessing, it is a curse. A curse that cannot be undone. Leo decided. Oh what he wouldn't give to become a human.
To feel the way a normal man did. To eat out of hunger, not just desire. To drink to get rid of thirst, not cause the drink was appealing. He wanted to long for living. To feel the fear of death. And most of all he wanted to feel … love.
Love…
What a wonderful feeling it must be… to find your other half…
Leo wondered if celestial spirits fell in love too. Or was it one of the many feelings he could never feel? Well, only one way to find out.
Leo sent his key back to the Earthland. And one of his many forgotten masters took him.
How many years later was it?
But did it matter much?
No. time didn't matter.
His key went to the hand of a cruel woman named Karen Lilica. She was one of the people who found joy in other's pain. He was used to being treated as a tool or a shield but this sadistic woman found joy in their suffering.
He was glad Karen was his owner though. Only because of small voice of a girl who whispered apologies. Aries.
The pink haired girl made him feel so happy. Leo wondered time after time why his heart jumped at the sight of her. Why the hell couldn't he stop thinking about her? Why was she so important to him?
Timid little Aries, she wasn't his type at all. Leo had always been a flirt. The kind of women he preferred were all very confident. They never apologize or feel insecure. They always look their best. They are always faking. They never let their true self out. They were never sincere.
But Aries was always apologizing. She had her ups and downs. She was insecure about her abilities. But she never tried to be anyone else. She was never faking. She was amazing. He was coming in terms with the idea that he might like the girl. Maybe one day he might fall for this unreasonably adorable girl. Maybe one day he would finally be able to understand the amazing bond Henry and Olivia had.
And almost out of the blue Karen ruined everything. It was enough that she used Aries as some shield only meant to be used then tossed aside. But leaving her out in human world for a week! That was too much. Leo knew how it felt. He, in his own free will, had stayed out for a good three days before. But it hurt though. It felt like he couldn't breathe. He was exhausted when he finally came back. And he had his master's magic supporting his. But Karen…She was just gonna keep the gate open, not give Aries support.
He lost it in a state of anger. Before he could think, he had already forced Aries's gate close and his own open; demanding Karen to free him and Aries from the contact.
The agony of the three months spent in the human world were nothing compared to the grief he felt when master bob told him that Karen was dead.
He killed her. He killed Karen. He killed his master.
Now as punishment he was fading away.
He deserved it.
Ha! How funny! Leo always wanted feel the fear of death, and now that he was feeling it he realized that he didn't like it one bit. He found it strange that he wouldn't exist.
The sun will rise, birds will sing, flowers will bloom. Just he wouldn't be here. Every thing would be exactly the same just he wouldn't be here to see it. Strange, how would it feel not to exist? Would it just be dark and empty or would he be able to see the world? Leo remembered the feeling of nothing all too well. He prayed for it to be the latter.
Another thought crossed his mind often. Did Aries think about him? Did she hear about his punishment? What did she think of him? She must think he is a killer. She must think he deserved this too. But his entire soul disagreed. No, she was too kind. She must think she is at fault too. Silly girl…
He worried about her too. Was her new master good to her? Leo didn't expect her new master to be like Henry. But was her master different from Karen at the very least? Too bad he would never get to find out.
He didn't have much time left. So he thought of doing what human do, live the time he had left. Leo took the name of Loke and decided to join the first guild he came across.
It was Fairy tail.
Joining that certain guild was something he didn't regret.
Maybe there were some things that He would remember forever…
…
Well, another tribute up. (I wrote for Tribute to Ul.) I had planned a series of tributes to FT characters.
Some of it is inspired from a book by Muhammod Zafar Iqbal, Kopotronic sukh-dukho. It's in Bangla. If you know that language read it. It's a great book.
Leave a review, if you love Loke/Leo~