Title: Love's Strategy - A Game of Hide and Seek
Author: Hell's Dark Tenshi
E-mail: hellsdarktenshi@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: Does not belong to me
Warning: Shounen-ai, violence later on
Summary: Nagi is starting to see life at a different perspective, will he try to give life a second chance? And
would he accept a friendship that could change his life around? Nagi POV
Rating: PG-13
Notes: I know I have two stories on hold and I'm debating on finishing them, but this I'll definately finish.
I'm trying my best on a good story line, please read and review!
Chapter 1 - Life After
I stared at my laptop and frowned. I was researching for information about "Physics Applied in Space" and had just started to get annoyed at the lack of available knowledge. As much as I hate to admit it, Physics just isn't my subject; it played circles with my mind.
Sighing dejectedly to myself, I closed the screen, stood up, and surveyed my surroundings with a calm face. Since when was the last time I had gone out of my room to go work outside willingly? It was just that lately the shadows in my room had grown so dark and I felt that they pushed me out.
I shook my head, I was just being silly. I'd been spending too much time in my brightly lit classrooms with three feet tall windows overlooking streets. Right now, I was hungry, judging that I hadn't even eaten too much of a proper breakfast.
As I headed to a small little shop near my school, I thought over my project and the scant information I had managed to gather. It must be because my mind wasn't really on the assignment. On any given day, I would probably turn up with at least 4 times more information, and I would also have finished the assignment the night before.
I reached the shop's doors and went inside to stand in line. When it was my turn, I ordered a small sandwich and paid for it with some money I always had on myself. It didn't hurt to have money on hand, especially judging how my eating habits were sometimes off. I didn't eat much at appropriate times, so I would usually get a snack from here after school.
Ah, school. I chose to go there on my own. I felt that all my actions were getting very monotone and utterly boring. Not that I had really minded, but I did think about it when I saw an advertisement about needing computer programming help at the school.
I sat down at the corner of the shop, away from prying eyes and continued my mental review of the past two months. I had gone of course, mainly because it was away from my daily routine and it promised to occupy me for some while. It seemed the school just recently got some new computers the same time they got a new computer teacher. It also happened that the so called computer teacher knew even less that his students.
Sarcastically, I thought that the teacher really helped the present situation.
I took one look at the man's actions and knew that he was just trying to do something to the computers so that he could pathetically claim he had helped. He had just made things worse and proved to be an annoyance. That was until the man somehow suffered a concussion because of some computer tutorial books falling on him. It was the time that I had enough of the man and decided that I could do the man some courtesy and try to get what the books were teaching into his head. Literally.
It was one of the reasons that I started attending the school. While the school hired another teacher for the students, and he knew much more than the last guy, he still didn't know enough. He could however, do some things without risking ruining work that I had done, also he had enough sense to say that what needed to be done was out of his league.
The principal approached me after I was done working one day and asked if I would possibly be interested in attending his classes at the school so that it would be easier to access him during the day.
I usually came in the afternoon when school was let out to give the pretense that I was attending school. I knew that if they found out that I wasn't attending school, it would just cause unnecessary hassle for Schwarz. I didn't think it would hurt to attend school for a change, so I started 1 month into the school year in Junior High Year 1.
While many of my classmates wrote me off as the 'quiet kid' or the 'shy kid', some bothered to waste their time and tried to befriend me, to no avail of course. The girls had crowded around me the first lunch I was there. Come to think of it, they still did. Nothing I said could dissuade those girls, and it usually frustrated me because I had no interest in any of them.
I noticed that I had finished my snack and headed outside. Unfortunately, not fast enough. One of the girls from the school noticed me and called a hello. I nodded in acknowledgement and continued outside. I didn't get more than a few steps when the girls caught up to me and started asking me questions. I really tried to get away but in the end, I ended up just answering their questions.
I got away after fifteen minutes by telling them that I thought I saw one of their friends. I had never been good at speaking or groups and this was the one aspect of school that annoyed me to no end. I headed back to the house that Schwarz was currently staying in.
Schwarz had decided that since most of the activity centered around this part of the city, we might as well get a house. The house was also conveniently located only ten minutes away from my school. Schwarz had been passed around to various of employers within the past few months and it was just getting tiring.
Just like my daily routine, I decided. We had managed to get rid of the superiors of Estet, but now we were trying to get rid of all the loyal groups that might cause trouble if they figured out that Schwarz was responsible for the untimely demises of their bosses. Schuldig had been careful and sought out the people who had seen them so they could terminate those people before it was too late. For now, we pretended to be just as concerned about the future of Estet, even though we couldn't care less.
There had been recent deaths within the groups that had not been the cause of Schwarz either. There were many that were fighting to have the right to lead the groups and there was heavy oppositions for all the parties. Some supported one party openly, which eventually led to their deaths by another group. It was because of this upheaval that the deaths caused by Schwarz remained unnoticed. While the groups wouldn't talk about the deaths in the gatherings they had, they were discussed privately, so we paid careful attention not to draw suspicions on ourselves.
We did not support any group as far as the public eye could see, but then many were afraid of showing their support because they feared death. Estet was in chaos and Schwarz was just waiting for the perfect time to hammer at the center of the groups to cause them to be even more estranged from each other. Then we could relax when we were sure that the organization had been taken care of.
Upon arriving home, I saw Crawford in his office sifting through some papers in a stack on his desk. I continued on my way to my room uninterested. Whatever he was looking for was Crawford's business and I didn't care to find out.
Crawford had been choosing which groups to act upon. We had a long list of groups from Schuldig but we couldn't kill them all so suddenly. As Crawford said to Schuldig when he complained, "Patience will reap its own rewards." Obviously, Schuldig didn't think so because he just scowled and closed his eyes, choosing to play with a random mind that was near enough.
After a while of thinking, I must have fallen asleep but was rudely awakened by the front door shutting. I was a light sleeper but it didn't help that the person also slammed the door. Probably Schuldig making his way in after a day spent partying and causing havoc of some sort.
I noticed that the clock next to my bed read 9:14, I had fallen asleep for around two hours. Without really giving it a second thought, I decided to go back to sleep so that I might actually be able to pay attention in my Physics class, which was first in my daily schedule. It's no wonder I didn't understand it, I usually didn't get sleep because of my late nights with Schwarz.
When I woke up, I automatically shut my alarm clock and sat up. I always got up before my alarm clock, but I always set it as an assurance that I wouldn't oversleep one day. I got ready for school and headed down the stairs to eat some breakfast. While boiling tea, I cooked some eggs so that both of them would be done at the same time. Also because of the fact that tea is usually the only thing I drank besides water and eggs were one of the very few things I could cook without burning.
After I finished my breakfast, I gathered my books and headed out the door, stopping only by Crawford's office to say "I'm going" then leaving.
The walk to school was peaceful and I was glad that most of the kids that went to the school didn't live quite as near so they had to be driven or took the bus. This day though, a little kid just barely whizzed past me running hard and laughing, and of course the boy he was running from didn't miss me. Instead, he crashed into my back and caused both of us to fall over.
Irritated, I pushed myself up and inspected my books. I paid no attention to the kid who was trying to find his glasses that were knocked aside. I almost left the boy but then noticed the kid's glasses on the grass. Ipicked them up and handed them to the boy.
Instantly, the boy was up and exclaimed "Sorry!" before gathering his books and running again to catch up to his friend.
I frowned and started to think about how stupid the kid was that he wasn't watching where he was going. But then I remembered that I really wanted to try and control my thoughts because of two things: one, was that my shields, which weren't all that great in the first place, would lower even more and sudden bursts of bad temper sparked Schuldig's curiosity. Two, I just wanted to stop thinking like that all together because I had been trying to change my habits.
Honestly, I didn't know what made me want to change my outlook on the world. It was much easier just to hate the whole world, but that hate seemed to be dissapearing recently. Was it because of my interactions with my classmates? I didn't know but I did know that I wasn't sure if the missing hate was a welcome feeling.
I had tried to get it back, but every day I spent in school, I started breaking a little, bit by bit. I could tolerate those swarming girls a lot better than I could on the first day, and I didn't know when it happened but I stopped mentally degrading my classmates who asked for my help. Then just two days ago, I actually helped them!
I believed it was just as much a shock to me as it was to the guy when I sighed, put my work aside and asked,"What don't you get?"
I usually just ignored my classmates or said that I didn't quite understand the concept either. After helping the boy though, I realized that the problem was that the teacher didn't explain things clearly enough so not many of his class could actually grasp what was being taught. Of course I already knew some of what was being taught and I read ahead in my books when I was bored.
I didn't go to movies or to the mall like all the other teens, so I had lots of free time to spare. Ah yes, how easy it was to get sidetracked. I spend so much of my time thinking that I rarely spoke, but that also ensured that when I spoke, I got attention. I did not say things haphazardly, having learned from Estet that one wrong word could get you killed. Besides, I liked to think about things to say so that I didn't sound as stupid as everyone else.
Well there I went...degrading again. I focused my attention back to the teacher and managed to figure out some more of the Physics assignment. The class was done relatively quick and without homework because of the assignment about Physics and space.
I paid better attention in my next class, as I always did, compared to Physics. I was good at Math because of my training with computers. In computers there were certain ways of doing things, exactly like formulas, and you had to take it step by step to make sure you make no mistake. And I never forgot how to overcome any obstacle after dealing with it, which is what I applied to Math 10.
Then came lunch, which I ate relatively alone. Of course the girls surrounded me after I was done, nothing could change that. If I wasn't so eager to get them away from me, I might have been flattered.
Once the girls finally dispersed, I headed for the library, which was where I spent my lunch hours when I wasn't doing some work on the school computers. I picked through books in the fiction section. While I read mostly realistic fiction, once in a while I read some humorous short stories or some science fiction/fantasy. I really didn't see much point in fantasy like the magical kind. I had no belief in them and certainly stopped believing in so called 'happy endings' a long time ago.
I couldn't help but feel a bit bitter about it. Just a bit, then the feeling was gone. I was raised to the fact that you couldn't change the past, but you can change the future. So I had accepted my past without much of a fight and set about to changing my future. And I certainly couldn't do that just sitting in my room learning more ways to hack and going out once every now and then to kill people.
That's what set me apart from others, from my peers. In a casual conversation with someone asking, "What do you do in your spare time?" I would answer "Oh, practice hacking, think, and kill people." A definite conversation ender. In fact, I laughed quietly to myself just thinking about it.
After lunch came my least favourite subject: Physical Education, in short, Gym. As much as I didn't get Physics, I found it interesting, and anything interesting may be worth my time. But Gym required physical exertion, and I knew how to get by with my brain, but certainly wasn't known for my brawn. Everything I did that required me getting tired, I used his telekinesis to do, but I couldn't very well use them here.
I had never been quite so athletic, I found all the work tiring and I just wasn't built for it. I had a small frame which may be useful only in getting out of tight places. But then that was only useful if I was actually conscious enough to get away.
On my first gym class, the subject was football because the season was already midway started. I took one look at all those well built jocks and suddenly panicked for one of the first times in my life due to not being able to do anything. Before, when I faced an enemy with advantage of size, which was mostly everyone, my power took care of them with a few tosses to the wall. Here I had to tough it out like every other kid that did not have the physical build to put up with it.
Of course, all that pep talk didn't really help because one second after I got passed the ball, the people from the opposing team tackled me. I was sent to the nurse's office after being found close to losing consciousness. I found it degrading and humiliating that I could barely stand up and one of the guys that tackled me had to help me walk.
Degrading yet again. Old habits die hard, especially if you're trying to change the way you think. It did make me feel a whole lot better when three more people joined me because of being tackled. At least I wasn't the only one that couldn't take it. The good thing was that at class the next day, the teacher felt some shame that the new kid got sent to the nurse the day he arrived, so she said I could sit out for this one and just review the game to get a hang of it.
And did I review. I was used to seeing patterns in behaviours and see strategy plans so that I could come up with a plan to counter it. I calmly took in the strategy of the other team and found some flaws quickly. All of the well built guys came after the one with the ball, causing the person to panic and not think straight. If the person knew that, then all they had to do was pass the ball to an open person and that person would have minimal opposition because it took time to get out of a stockpile.
The next time I played, I played it safe and took over the role of strategist for the team. That way I had a position that would shield me from harm and not to mention, get me better grades. The teachers always loved someone who could think of ways to improve themselves, and I was one of those people. Not to mention that I could never stand being on the losing team, so since I couldn't switch, I set about to improving my team.
The opposition didn't know what hit them. They had to scramble for other strategies because they knew that their current one was failing badly. Yet, after one game, I was delayed talking to the teacher and after I was finished, some guys from the other team came over and walked with me.
One of them raised his hand behind my back and I was ready to defend myself when the boy started congratulating me. I was so confused that I stumbled on the ground a bit. I silently wondered why they were being nice to me, they did lose after all. Maybe they wanted to know my secret or pretend to befriend me so that they could hurt me later on.
But they had done nothing to me and every game after was like that, until I started to relax. I decided I couldn't base everyone around myself and people I knew that were like that. They were good sportsmen and I started to actually admire them for that. They soon became as close to friends as I would let them and they invited me a couple of times after school to go places with them. After turning their invitations down for around two weeks, I finally relented out of mild confusion and bewilderment that no matter how many times I said no, they would just keep asking me.
I had actually enjoyed my time with them and spent the time talking about subjects. I was still closed off though and spoke only when asked questions. It had taken them another week to get me to start some conversations and then even some more time to ask questions myself.
I did, however, shy away from mentions of my private life and home. All they knew was that I lived with some guardians after my parents died. I said it too bluntly though, so they were surprised and also sorry they asked. I thought that they would just pity me and leave me alone, yet the opposite happened. Some of them also came from broken families and had dealt with a death of a parent.
I continued to be amazed at them and then that amazement changed to a form of respect. These guys decided the same as I did, that the past couldn't be changed, but they also decided that you didn't have to dwell on it either. Dwelling on it just made you bitter. They viewed the past as unchangeable events that they could learn from so that they don't make the same mistakes.
And people view jocks as airheads.
Now, I came to gym looking forward to seeing my 'friends' but not looking forward to the current unit of floor hockey. Another contact sport. If I wasn't sideswiped by the bodies, I'd surely fall because of the sticks. I was usually playfully teased by them about my size, that I seemed out of place when all the people I hung with were usually twice my size. I figured that they were just teasing though and it was only playful banter. They were careful not to stress it too much, and they made up for it by occasionally praising my strategic skills. Now some of them were on my team so he could show them my skills and help them.
This gym class however the teacher, Tawaka-sensei, announced something. She said that school teams were free to be tried out for by those interested and that all they had to do was sign up with her.
"Come on Nagi, come join with us!" They had all rallied for me to join and asked me as soon as the teacher finished her announcement.
"Well," I thought that I probably wouldn't do good, but I realized that they weren't asking because I would do good physically, they were asking because I was a good strategist and because I was their friend. "Fine," I answered them and they all cheered then steered me to the signout sheet.
As I was signing my name, I was thinking, What had I gotten myself into?
A/N: Sorry if it's a bit confusing after switching from present to past without flashbacks. I am just not very good at them. I thought it better to write everything as if he is reflecting. Flashbacks give me the sense of making up scenes, and scenes require talking, and dialogue shows how lacking I am at the subject. I try not to do too much dialogue, or first person point of view because I need to brush up on ways to make those interesting. I do realize that I really need to do dialogue or the story will fall flat.
I am such a hypocrite. I know but do not do... ^-^;;
I hope you enjoyed this chapter, any further questions please put in reviews or e-mail me at: hellsdarktenshi@hotmail.com and I will address them.