For Paulina :D Merry Christmas!
The room was completely silent, save the dripping from the bathroom tap. Katniss sat, chin resting on her knees, in the bathtub. She didn't want to wake Peeta... She just wanted some time to think. Time to mourn, to just breathe. Usually she was fine, Peeta was always there, and he kept her happy, but it was times like this, at night, when the thoughts crept back. The brunette sighed, shaking her head.
It had been exactly a year since Primrose had died, since the explosion had happened before her eyes, and her little sister's cry was drowned out by the ringing in her ears. She still heard it sometimes, the haunting call of "Katniss-" before everything was engulfed in fire...
Since that day, Katniss Everdeen had changed. No one could deny it, not Peeta, not Gale, not Haymitch or Effie. A little bit of the Girl on Fire had died that day along with her sister, decaying along with the ashes. Sure, Panem was now a fair country, under the rule of Commander Paylor, but no one could heal her, not fully. No one could destroy the chilling nightmares that left her trembling in cold sweats. A single thing could usually set off flashbacks, someone dropping something and making a clashing sound, someone crying, even the sight of a cut sent her back to the Games. Everything was hard.
It was usually Peeta who calmed her down, his arms tight around her, his lips pressed against her forehead, whispering that everything was okay, everything would be okay. Heck, sometimes she even went back to what she'd been taught in District 13. Why not give it a go?
"My name is Katniss Everdeen. I'm from District 12. I survived the Games, I survived the Rebellion. I killed President Coin. Primrose Everdeen died. But I'm safe now," She kept repeating those words, even if her mind was telling her they weren't true. She flinched as a thud- most likely Buttercup jumping onto the carpet downstairs- sounded, praying that it wouldn't...
Too late.
"5...4...3...2...1... May the 74th Hunger Games, commence!" Everything was a blur, tributes running, people shouting... The cannon sounded for the first time, then another...then another...
Katniss rocked back and forth, screwing her eyes shut, whispering for it to stop.
"Katniss Everdeen, 11/12," Everyone turning from Peeta, to her, large grins on their faces. Peeta politely congratulating her.
"Stop...please..."
Rue looked down to where the blood was staining her shirt, eyes widening. Katniss had never seen so much fear...
The old man... The gunshot...
Finnick. Mags. Wiress. Boggs. Coin. Snow. Prim...
"Peeta!" Katniss cried out, not able to stop herself.
"Peeta!"
Of course, he was there in an instant, brow furrowed, eyes full of concern. She was whimpering by now, though trying to act tough.
"Katniss..." Peeta crouched by the bath, reaching out to place a gentle hand on her shoulder. Katniss flinched away, looking down.
"Hey, it's alright.. Katniss, I'm here," Peeta whispered. He cupped her cheek, lightly running his thumb across it. He just whispered reassurances to her, over and over, until Katniss finally calmed down enough to step out of the bath. And then, he just hugged her tightly to him. Katniss trembled, her arms wrapping around him, because he was the only thing keeping her anchored to the world right now. Without him, she felt like she would just float away..
"Let's get you back to bed," Peeta murmured, slowly reaching for her hand. At first, the brunette didn't react, her ice cold hand staying where it was, but then, her fingers curled around his, seeking the warmth that always seemed to be there. She allowed herself to be led back, to lay down, for Peeta to stroke her hair and softly sing to her.
And gradually, very gradually, the Girl on Fire closed her eyes, the lyrics of the lullaby floating around the darkness of her head.