CHAPTER 1- "Fresh Start"
Skin is not a very tough armor, it's soft, vulnerable and Alison was raised to be invulnerable because it's hard to lay yourself bare. One day though, she woke and realized that vulnerability isn't the opposite of strength, it's a necessary part of survival. We have to force ourselves to open up, to expose ourselves, to offer up everything we have, and just pray that it's good enough.
It was 7:30 and it was pitch black by now. The lights of the car behind Alison were bright in her mirrors and she was already annoyed with her new life. Her headache told her loud and clear. This move to Seattle was a hard pill to swallow, but her dad seemed excited about it which is something Alison hadn't seen in him since her mom died. The rain was already pouring, which Alison didn't mind but she just thought it was ironic that the biggest stereotype of Seattle happened her first 3 minutes within the city, which never happens, nothing has ever happened the way it's supposed to. At least not for Alison. So rain was good. Rain was refreshing. She was most nervous about her new school, because she was a queen bee at her last school and she's starting fresh. She wasn't going to be a bitch here, she was going start over and be kind, be the person she really was. Which was scary, people have never liked that. She's never earned friends, she's forced them.
Her dad pulled slowly up to their new house, 15 minutes outside of city, smaller than her old one but still, new. Everything was new. Her dad took a deep breath that she tried to read. It was filled with exhaustion but also it had undertones of possibility, like he could finally scratch everything clean and re-write his life over Alison's mom. Kenneth never loved her, but you know how it goes, kids, house, then you get stuck. So losing her reminded him how lost he was. But it gave him the chance to finally be free; which Alison was happy about.
Her room was nice, kind of bland but she could fix that. The one box in her hands weighed down the mattress as she put it on her new bed. Kenneth followed behind her with her sheets in his hands, he was trying so hard. Alison felt a twinge of guilt for not helping him as much as she should have with the move but you know, change is hard sometimes.
"The sooner you get your sheets on, the sooner it will feel like home," he said handing them to her looking like he needed some sort of validation.
"Home is wherever you are Dad." Alison said giving him a small peck on the cheek as she took the sheets from his hands. Kenneth looked in the box on the bed, seeing a picture frame on the top of the box resting in plain sight.
"Mom looks happy in this picture." He said.
"Yeah she does. I thinks that's the only picture I have of the two of us." Alison replied taking it from his hands and placing in on her bedside table, "she's with us dad. She's with us and we're moving on."
"We're moving on." Kenneth said, "Why don't you unpack some of this stuff while I take out something for dinner. And then you need to get some rest sweetheart, be ready for school tomorrow."
Alison nodded as Kenneth headed toward the door, "Hey dad?"
"Hmm?"
"I uh," Alison replied, "Everything's going to be okay."
Kenneth smiled, "I know."
Alison woke up ten minutes before her alarm clock was supposed to go off, her stomach was nervous for today, the new people, the new classes, the new her. It was all so intimidating but if Alison knew anything about herself it was that she did not shy away from challenging times. She faces them head on, she's strong. And she's proud of that. Alison drove up to her new school, Roosevelt High School, parking spot 116. She had to get there early, so that all the new kids could get acquainted.
"Welcome new students," the head of school said, "we're lucky to have all of you joining our Roosevelt community. Whether you're here for one semester or four years, at this school you are going to be pushed, whilst being supported. Get ready to improve your academic and social status. Now please turn to the person on your left and introduce yourself. This person will be the first friend you have here."
Alison turned to her left to see a small brunette girl with unique earrings. "I'm Alison," She said sticking out her hand.
"Aria, nice to meet you." She said in a friendly voice.
"I've never seen someone wear forks as earrings." Alison said, "I meant that in a good way, not in a mean way. Uh."
Aria laughed, "I get it, first day of school, I am nervous too. And you're not the only one who thinks they're crazy, my mom barely let me out of the house this morning with these on. But the way I see it, if they make me happy, I'm going to wear them."
Alison smiled back, she might have just made a friend.
Aria and Alison walked down the hallway of the new school, looking at all the new faces, trying to figure out their schedules.
"So I have English with Mr. Fitz for first period," Alison said.
"Yes, I do too. I am so glad I have a friendly face in the first class."
"Hey newbies," a voice said behind them, "Spencer Hastings. Willing to do any homework for you anytime."
"And I'm Hanna," A blonde girl said, popping behind Spencer, "Don't count on me for homework or anything at all really."
"Shut up Hanna. Trust me this girl's the best friend you could ask for." Spencer said. "I trust her with my life. I've got honors neuro bio so welcome I guess, if you guys need some people to hang around today Hanna and I will be in the lunchroom."
"Oh wow, thanks." Aria said.
"No problem!" Hanna said running after Spencer down the hall.
"They seem nice," Alison said to Aria.
"Look at us making friends," aria replied holding her hand up for a high five.
"Yeah look at us."
Alison's first day was good, she'd spent the day with Aria, Spencer and Hanna. They were nice, she wasn't sure if they liked her enough to be good friends with her but to have acquaintances made the idea of going back to school tomorrow, dealable. It was 3:44pm, and she was walking around the school, looking at the parts she hadn't gotten to see yet. The halls were tan, and floor was covered in that "school like" tile, red, blue and pinkish tan. It sounded gross but somehow, this school looked very elite, which it was. She'd noticed throughout the day that everyone was nice but there was some kind of energy that was strict, like the everyone was holding their breath just a little bit. It reminded her of her mother. Alison stared at her phone as she was walking, looking over her new snapchat friends she added that day, knowing that it didn't matter but it made her feel good that she had a list of people who she knew. Suddenly as she was walking her body ran into something, and her eyes immediately looked up to see a dark eyed girl, with wet hair and a sports bag.
"I am so sorry," Alison said smiling, "I was looking at my phone."
"Me too," She said holding her phone up in her hand with a RoseWood Sharks Swim Team sticker on the back.
"Oh you swim?'
"Yeah," She said shyly but nicely, "I'm the team captain."
"Wow, impressive. Well, I'm sorry about that, I should have been watching where I was going."
"No its my bad," Emily said as she walked the other way. She turned around again like she was going to say something, "You're new right?"
"Yeah,"
"I'm Emily."
"Alison."
"I'll see you around Alison." She smiled and turned around. Alison didn't see how beautiful she was until she smiled. 'I bet she gets all the guys around here', she thought. Alison walked, away from her feeling a strange pull in Emily's direction.
"Hey," Emily said.
"Yeah?"
"This is probably a long shot but I could use a new friend right now. I ended a two year relationship today, I just want to have some fun. Have you seen downtown Seattle yet?"
Alison smiled at the invitation, a warm feeling rushed over her, "No, I haven't,"
"Let's take my car." Emily said.
"So you just broke up with someone?" Alison asked.
"Yeah I did." Emily said, "It was great but it was time."
"What was he like?"
"She's a swimmer, that's how we met. She is pretty and kind but we just weren't right for each other. I've gone through a lot, and she just couldn't relate." Emily replied.
"Yeah I get not being able to relate to someone."
"So, why Seattle?" Emily asked.
"Um," Alison replied trying to decide whether or not to tell the truth to Emily. If she told her about her mom, she would be exposing herself for the first time in years. And to a stranger? "Well my mom died and my dad needed a fresh start. There was a job here for him, so um, here I am."
"When did she die?"
"Four months ago."
Emily said sorry with her eyes, which Alison loved, she hated pity parties. "My dad died three years ago. He was in the army. But it was a heart attack that finally took him down. Ironic huh?"
"My mom got lung cancer, and died twenty three days later."
"God… You know I know how it feels to lose a parent so if you need to talk to someone," Emily said, "I just know how it feels. People tell you to talk about it, and you want to, but when you try, nothing comes out. Sometimes you just need the comfort of someone who understands."
"Thank you." Alison said. They were on top of the Space Needle, which Alison had never been to the top of. She looked at the lights, bending and twisting looking down on every one of them as if each of one of them was a little universe filled with mystery. It was the most infinite feeling; with the wind rushing on her cheeks, waking her up, for what felt like the first time in her life. She turned her head to Emily, she was looking down at the lights too, embracing the silence. Her hair was dry now, falling in flawless dark waves around her shoulders, she really was beautiful.
"Breathtaking. Isn't it?" Emily said still staring forward.
"It's," Alison said searching for a word, "Intoxicating." Alison didn't say the word, she breathed it, taking in her surroundings. She was so happy in that moment, with the fresh start, and the wind on the top of the tower blowing away every doubt, and every struggle, even if only for a moment. Emily and Alison sat on the floor of the lookout for hours, talking and not talking, just being there, it was the best time Alison had in months.
"Where did you get that ring?" Alison asked pointing to a silver ring, with a faded, antique, blue tinted diamond sitting on a bed of twirling silver branches. It was old and beautiful.
"It's a family heirloom." Emily said stricter than Alison expected.
"It's beautiful."
"I couldn't live without it." Emily replied looking at her strangely in the eyes. She saw as shade of Emily she hadn't seen yet, she looked scared, and she didn't think Emily Fields could ever look scared. Alison couldn't look away from them and in the dark of the night her left eye twitched with an amber color faster than she could blink, so fast that she didn't know if she imagined it. No, she imagined it.
"Well I like it." Alison said. And just like that, the dark scared look that was in Emily's eyes fell away, and she recognized them again.
"Thanks." She said with the smile Alison had seen over the last few hours.
"You okay?" Alison asked.
"Yeah I'm good. I'm tired, we should probably get going. It's 9 o'clock, on a school night. Your dad must be worried." Emily said jumping up and giving Alison a hand.
Emily's car pulled up slow in front of Alison's new house.
"Your house is nice." Emily said. Alison breathed in and out, still left with a sour taste from the way Emily changed earlier.
"Emily, I um, are sure you're good? You need anything?"
Emily looked at her fiercely, with kind eyes. Alison could see her questioning whether or not to say something. "I could use a place to stay for the night."
"Okay," Alison said.
"I can't go home," Emily murmured, "tonight."
"Of course, stay." Alison said not pushing her any further.
Alison thought that the bag in her hand when she first met her was just a swim bag but when Emily put it down on her bed, she saw a toothbrush and clothes. How long has Emily not been home? Does she even have one? Alison offered her a load of laundry, trying to be there for her without embarrassing her. She switched the light off, wondering whether or not to ask further.
"Thank you Alison," Emily said getting into bed next to her.
"Anytime."
Alison shook Emily's shoulder to wake her up. "Emily? Emily? I'm so sorry we slept through the alarm, we're late." Emily got up and smiled. She looked better than last night, more full of life. Alison saw Emily look down at her hand and fear came over her face again, only this time she looked as though she would cry and scream, all at the same time.
"Where's my ring?" Emily said her voice shaking, "Alison you don't understand I need that ring."
"It's just a ring."
"It's not just a ring!" Emily yelled forcefully before taking a breath and gathering her tone, "I just really need that ring."
"Okay," Alison said softly.
"Do you think you could help me look for it?"
Alison nodded wondering why Emily was so attached to this ring. She continued looking under, the bed and around the room, replaying the darkness in Emily's eyes. She looked as though she would actually die without it. Alison knew what it was like to love something, but she never felt like she couldn't be herself without it. That's how Emily looked, like she'd be separated from herself without that one material thing. Alison didn't understand it.
"I found it!" Emily laughed and put the ring on her middle finger with shaky fingers. "Thanks."
Alison was relieved, but still so confused. What about this ring was so important? Why was Emily so afraid? Alison didn't see her the whole day until lunch and when they sat down with Aria, Spencer and Hanna, she seemed good. They laughed, emily looked at her every 2 minutes to smile at her and they were sitting with their people. Their friends, it was almost like Emily forgot all about last night and this morning. In physics, they got to pick their partners for a project, and of course Emily picked Alison, but it was weird, she didn't want to just pretend nothing happened, she was curious. No more than curious, she needed to know.
They were sitting together, Emily looking from the textbook back to her paper, trying to figure out the equation they were supposed to be using. Alison looked at her, studying so hard, she knew there was something in her that no one knew, that she didn't tell anyone, I guess Alison was the same. Emily was the first person that even in only a few days, had forced her to open up, and that was worth something. She owed it to her to try and be there for her, she just seemed so... alone.
"Em?" Alison asked. "Do people call you Em? Probably not, that's stupid, sorry."
"No, it's okay." Emily said, "People call me Em, if I'm close to them."
"Good."
"Ali?" Emily asked, "Do people call you Ali? Probably not, that's stupid sorry."
Alison laughed and nodded. "You were going to ask me something?" Emily said.
"I know that I haven't known you very long, but I feel like, I see something in you that maybe most people in your life haven't seen yet. Are you hiding from someone? Are you alone?" Alison looked her in the eyes, and Emily stared back for endless seconds, until the silence was broken.
"Alison, I don't want to talk about it."
"Are you alone?"
"Alison."
"Are you alone?" Alison asked again strictly.
"Yes." Emily admitted. "Okay? I'm alone. But it doesn't concern you. I've known you for what, 72 hours, you don't get to pick me apart. I have secrets Ali, and you don't want to be apart of them," Emily paused, "you don't want to know me."
The bell rang and Emily was out of the door before Alison could blink an eye. She couldn't respond or react, because Emily ran. Which Alison thought was a common thing for her. She bet Emily ran a lot. Alison spotted her car in the parking lot, driving away, and she knew she should leave her be but something inside of her told her to follow, Emily was alone. Who would leave Emily alone? Who would be stupid enough to? God, she had to follow her. Alison tracked Emily's car 15 minutes up into the mountains, getting so far away that Alison was starting to get scared. What if Emily wasn't the person she thought she was? Alison saw her beat down red subaru stop on the side of the road and Emily got out and ran, fast into the forest. Alison got out, checking the signal on her phone as she ran. She shouldn't be scared, this is Emily she was talking about, and Emily was her friend, no Emily was more than that, Emily was the one person that she has ever opened up to, even if it was only a little bit.
The forest was dense, and filled with the smell of rain. If it wasn't for the circumstances, Alison would have relished in it's beauty but she had to keep eyes on Emily 100 feet in front of her still running fast. Alison was getting winded, it seemed like Emily could run at this pace forever, it was her swimming skills I guess. That had to be it. They ran until Emily reached an open circle free of trees in the forest. The blue sky was beaming down in the open space and Alison finally caught up to her.
"Emily!" She yelled.
"Get away from me Alison."
"Stop, please," She breathed heavy, "Just stop. You can trust me."
"I know!" Emily started crying, "I know! That's what scares me! I trust you I want to tell you!"
"Tell me what?!" Alison yelled back.
"I'm not who you think I am."
"Your eye flashed on top the space needle, and you can't live without that ring, you think I haven't wondered who you are? You are who I think you are. You're special. You're Emily, you're familiar. I couldn't look at you any different. You can trust me."
"I was born differently than you. I'm not made the same way. I'm alone."
"You want to know something amazing that you haven't thought of yet?" Alison moved forward and put a firm hand on Emily's wrist, "I'm alone too." Emily moved her hand and held Alison's.
"I'm scared."
"Tell me."
"I'm a monster."
"What?"
"I'm supernatural." Emily said. "I'm what you what you have nightmares about when you're little, I'm not who you think I am."
"Are you saying you're a vampire?"
Emily laughed and cried at the same time. "No. That's insane. I'm just not human, I'm sort of like a clone. I was built with bits and pieces. I don't have parents, I'm just…. I'm alive but not created by a womb. I'm scrap pieces."
"How?"
"I was made in a lab, with pieces of different bodies, I'm frankenstein. I'm a body made out of thin air, I'm a scientific anomaly, but I'm a-"
"But you're so beautiful." Alison said looking at her.
Emily looked at her as though that was the first time she'd ever heard that.
"You're beautiful." Alison repeated. "You'd be a miracle regardless."
"You're the first person I've ever told." Emily said.
Alison moved closer to her, she looked at her in the eyes hard, Emily didn't know what she was doing. But Alison kept inching closer, and suddenly she kissed her. Emily was astounded, she didn't know Alison looked at her like that. It came out of nowhere. Emily moved away at first but, then it felt good, to be kissed, to be thought of as someone worth kissing. So she connected their lips once again, and this time it was different, it was like she realized something she wanted, and she didn't know she wanted it. It came to her that very moment, that Alison was someone worth kissing too.