TG: dirk i just cant do it
TG: it hurts
TG: it hurts so much
TT: Rox…
TG: i cant
TG: im sorry
TT: Roxy don't do anything stupid.
TG: too late
TT: ROX!
TG: goodbye
TT: Shit
"How long?"
"Who knows. We're not very sure. It could be months, possibly years. She may never wake up."
Dirk tensed. He straightened his back and shoulders. His mouths formed into a small frown as the doctor explained. His orange eyes shifted over to the hospital bed, where an unconscious Roxy lay. Her eyes were closed, and smudged with black eye makeup from crying. Her cheeks were stained with dried mascara. Roxy's blackened lips were formed into a frown. She just looked asleep. She looked peaceful and at rest.
But she may never wake up.
The doctor continued when Dirk didn't respond or speak. "Her blood loss was too great. There was a large amount of blood that kept pouring out. She cut pretty deep. There wasn't much we could do. It was either this or just leaving her for dead."
Dirk nodded solemnly. "I understand."
"If there was anything else we could've done…"
'If there was anything else I could've done…'
"We would have done it…"
'I would have done it.'
"I'm so sorry."
'I'm so stupid.'
Dirk cleared his throat. "Can I have some time alone?" Dirk said in a wavering voice.
The doctor blinked. He coughed and nodded. "O-Oh… Okay. Of course. Just leave when you want. She'll be in good care with us."
When he didn't get a reply, the doctor left the room, closing the door behind him softly.
Dirk gazed at Roxy's pale face. She looked so lifeless… Dirk took in a deep breath through his nose and pulled up a chair next to the bed. He took Roxy's right hand in his. He squeezed tightly and shook his head, as he saw the fresh red lines that marked on Roxy's wrists. Underneath those were white and scabby scares from past cuts. Those red lines were the lines that brought her here. They were the lines that Dirk had caused. The lines that he caused her to create and draw on her own skin… How could he have been so stupid to not see how Roxy felt about him? Was he the cause of her binging as well? Did… did Dirk cause Roxy to be unhappy?
Dirk bit his lip, hiding in a sob that threatened to come out, nearly choking him. He blinked away the tears that were forming in his eyes.
'Don't cry you damn baby. Roxy wouldn't want you to cry.'
"I'm so sorry, Rox," he croaked, shaking. "I-I'm so fucking sorry." Tears slid down from his eyes, from behind his shades. He bowed his head, and trembled. "I love you so fucking much."
And then he couldn't contain it anymore.
For the first time in a long while, Dirk Strider cried.