Title
: Strictly TabooRating
: PG 13 for slash… does it really count as slash if it's an established relationship? WhateverDisclaimer
: 1, these aren't my characters, they belong to Joss Whedon.2, the song belongs to someone, not Frank Sinatra anymore but I'm sure some company owns the rights and I'm SORRY OKAY?!?!
3, I'm a W/X shipper but I wrote a W/T fic, don't flame me based on your disapproval of the relationship- if you don't like it just don't read it.
Summary
: Willow and Tara overcome a difficulty… it's just fluff, and my first attempt at writing Willow fluff that isn't about Xander… take it or leave it J*For Louie, wherever he is, I hope he's finally happy.
~*~*~
"I just don't understand how in all those years they managed to build a shower and everything but they still couldn't get off the island. The sheer illogic of the whole situation is enough to insult anyone with half a brain to call their own. Not to mention the stereotypical behavior of the women, and frankly-"
"An? You're doing it again," Xander interrupted his girlfriend. "Remember, how television isn't meant to be intelligent?"
"Okay, but at that time we were talking about technical errors in the X-files. This is totally different!"
As Xander sat trying to formulate a way to explain this modern concept, there was a knock at the door.
"Password?" he called, heading over to answer it.
"Go Go Gadget door," Willow's muffled voice came flatly from outside. He opened the door and she stepped in, not greeting him or making eye contact. Her hair was disarrayed and he was pretty sure she was wearing pajamas under her coat.
"Wils, everything okay?" he asked, following her inside.
"I guess so. No. I don't know. Can I talk to you please?" she twirled around to face him, revealing red-rimmed eyes.
"Sure," he responded quickly, glancing over at Anya.
She smiled sweetly at him from the couch and didn't move. He stared at her for a moment before she sighed loudly and huffed into the bedroom, not quite slamming the door but performing a reasonable facsimile of door slammage.
"Is this a bad time?" Willow asked, folding her arms around abdomen.
"No, you know Anya," Xander said. "Come sit down. Tell Papa Xander what's wrong."
They sat together on the couch. Xander watched while his friend played with the plastic bits on the end of her jacket hood's drawstrings.
"Well," she began. "Tara and I," she took a slow breath, "had a fight."
Xander's concern for his friend comingled with a tiny hint of smugness which he quickly and guiltily suppressed.
"And?"
"She's mad because I haven't told my parents yet. I haven't really told anyone yet, not officially. But I mean it's hard. What will my family think of me? My aunts and uncles already give me the evil eye at our Passover gathering because of the whole Wicca thing. Some of my cousins won't even talk to me anymore, and we used to play together. I could lose family over this. And do you have any idea of all the mean names I could be called?" She swallowed tightly. "I love Tara. She's been so good to me, Xander. And I owe it to her to tell everyone about us but I'm just so scared."
"I was kinda wondering when you'd start to deal with this," Xander remarked gently. "Willow… you know that all of us are here for you. And Tara too, both of you. But you already know what you gotta do. So what is it you need from me?"
Willow's face threatened to crumple as she looked up at her best friend. He pulled her into a hug, and held her there for a few moments.
"I just needed to hear it, I guess," she responded at last. "Thanks, Xander." She stood.
"Good luck," he told her seriously.
She smiled with worried eyes. "I'll see you later," she murmured, and headed out the door.
There was a moment of quiet.
"Is she gone?" Anya ventured.
"You're safe," he replied with a touch of sarcasm.
"Good. I'm relieved to know you didn't make out with her." Anya came back into the living room looking sullen.
Xander couldn't help but smile. "Get back in the bedroom, gorgeous," he ordered, "and I'll go get the peanut butter."
With a pleasant grin, Anya hopped back into the bedroom, pulling her socks off on the way.
On the walk back to campus- very rapid walk back to campus seeing as the sun had set 20 minutes ago- Willow went over and over in her head what she was going to say to Tara. She was scared about what everyone would think of her being in a relationship with a girl, but even more scared of losing one of the most amazing people she'd ever known. And besides, there was nothing wrong about her and Tara. How could there be? They loved each other. If anyone had a problem with that, it was their closed-minded backwards stupid problem.
As she finally reached the door to her and Tara's dorm room, Willow smiled to herself, her resolve successfully strengthened. She knocked first, then tried the handle. It was locked, and she frowned. Tara hadn't said anything about going out on a weeknight. Digging out her key, Willow opened the door and immediately got a sinking sensation in her stomach.
It wasn't anything visible about the room. It was the cold feeling she got when she walked in, a stark contrast to the usual one of warmth and welcome.
She set down her purse and went over to check the answering machine. One message from Buffy inviting them both to the local karaoke bar with her and Dawn the following evening. Another from her chem lab partner frantically begging her to call back as soon as possible to tell her what assignment was due Thursday, and a third from the same saying never mind, she'd found the assignment. She hit delete, then noticed the small piece of seashell stationary next to the phone.
Tara's curling scroll only filled a few lines of the page, but as Willow read it she paled and sank down into her chair.
Willow-
I'm sorry I tried to force you into something you weren't ready for. I guess this just wasn't meant to be. We tried. I care about you so much and I know you care about me, but it doesn't look like we have much of a future. I went down to Housing to put in a request for a room change this afternoon, we probably will need some time apart now.
I hope we'll be okay after this.
Love,
Tara
The paper fluttered to the floor when Willow finished reading it. She'd had no idea it was this bad. With a pang she realized that she must have hurt her girlfriend a lot more than Tara had let on.
For the next few hours, the redhead called around looking for her. She looked around the dorms but found Tara nowhere.
She probably doesn't want to be found, Willow considered with a growing feeling of depression.
By the time Tara got there, she found Willow curled up on top of her bed, still in her day clothes with the note in her hand. The blonde witch stared wistfully at her for a few moments, then draped a blanket over her and walked quietly to her dresser. She filled a bag with some clothes and needed items, and glanced at Willow only once more before heading back out the door.
Buffy flounced over to the lunch table, seemingly out of the funk she'd been in since Riley had left 2 weeks ago. While she wasn't the most cheerful person in the world, she'd gotten back to the business of school and slayage and become a social human being again.
"Hi Wil," she smiled brightly, dropping down her books and unwrapping her bagel sandwich. "What's up? Where's Tara, I thought she was meeting us too."
"Oh, she's busy," Willow murmured, "so, how's your day going?"
Buffy scrutinized her and frowned. "What's wrong?"
"Don't wanna talk about it," the witch replied.
"Okay, I gotcha. So are you still up to coming with us tonight?"
"Me and karaoke? I don't think so," Willow shook her head. "Besides, I have a lot of studying tonight."
"Well, if you change your mind, let us know. Xander and Anya are going too, I think. I really hope Xander doesn't sing. Or Anya. Or Dawn," she added upon contemplation. "Which brings to mind the question, why did I suggest karaoke in the first place?"
Willow shrugged. "Maybe you've gotten rusty at the whole evenings-out-with-the-gang thing," she suggested.
"Nah," Buffy dismissed the thought. Then she put her sandwich down and squinched her eyes shut. "Shoot! I forgot. I was supposed to meet Alan like 10 minutes from now at the athletic center. We're going swimming, and he's going to teach me the butterfly stroke." She shouldered her book bag, then hesitated.
"Sure you're okay, Wil? I'll call and cancel with Alan if you need company."
"No, Buffy, I'm fine. Really. Go have fun," Willow smiled, shooing her friend away.
"Alright. But call me the minute you wanna talk. Love you."
"Love you too. Thanks," Willow replied with a little wave.
When Buffy was gone, she sighed and went back to poking at her yogurt. At least somebody was happy.
Tara walked along the darkened streets on the way back from her classmate Erica's apartment. Now that she'd taken some time to think about it, she'd concluded that her departure had been too hasty. Willow deserved as much time as she needed to come to terms with her sexuality and all the implications of their relationship. They could talk about it and maybe work things out. She hoped it wasn't too late, that Willow wasn't angry with her for leaving the way she had.
Preoccupied as she was, she didn't notice that she was being followed until the vampire was right behind her. She whirled around just in time to see the fangs come out, and surprised him by using her purse like a bolo to hit him in the face before she took off running. Breathing hard, she turned the corner and pushed her legs forward as hard as she could, unable to even turn her head around and look for fear that it would slow her down.
She headed towards the cluster of nightclubs a block or two ahead in hopes that the presence of people would deter him, but she wasn't fast enough. She felt a blow to the back of the head as he hit her with his elbow.
A sharp cry of pain escaping from her lips, Tara tumbled to the ground.
Sitting in front of the computer, staring into space as she failed to work on her developmental psych assignment, Willow's eyes suddenly flew open. She had a terrible feeling that something very bad had just happened. She hated it when she got these… picking up the phone, she dialed Buffy's number and apologized when Joyce answered in a sleepy voice. Then she remembered where everyone was supposed to be going tonight.
Knowing that her gut feeling wouldn't disappear until she knew her friends were okay, Willow threw on her shoes and headed out the door.
"Tara?" a familiar female voice whispered in concern. "Can you open your eyes?"
She tried to locate the source of the voice, but the world around her was a milky blur. After a moment she realized that her eyes were in fact closed, and opened them with the result of being nearly blinded by a bright light.
"Sorry," she heard a younger girl say, "didn't mean to shine the flashlight in your face."
"Will you just please stop- I mean, you can turn it off now Dawn." She belatedly recognized the voice as Buffy's, and tried to sit up.
"Well sorry!" Dawn protested.
Tara was cold, and her head was throbbing with pain. She touched a hand to the back of it and winced.
"You were attacked," Buffy informed her. "You got hit pretty hard in the head."
"I didn't- what happened to the vampire?" Tara murmured, dazed.
"Dust," Xander said. "Lucky we were on our way through here. We saw the vampire standing over you, hesitating for some reason."
"Garlic," Tara murmured.
"Yeah, I smell it too," Anya remarked.
"No, I had it in my purse. For cooking. Garlic salt. Must've broke."
"Ruins their appetite," Buffy affirmed. "Come on, let's take you to the emergency room. You probably have a concussion."
"No, I don't," she replied, standing up. "I had a concussion before. It doesn't feel like that. I just got a bump."
"But you lost consciousness," Dawn protested. "I saw it on Trauma: Life in the ER, when you lose consciousness you might have a concussion." The girl was genuinely worried.
Tara smiled weakly. "I d-don't need to go to the hospital. I probably passed out because I haven't eaten anything since yesterday. I just need Wil- some willow root and I'll be fine."
"That's aspirin," Anya informed everyone. "I knew the woman who discovered it."
"Where are you headed?" Xander asked. "If you're feeling up to it, I'll treat you and everyone to dinner at the karaoke place. Or we'll just take you home if you want."
Tara looked down at her shoes. Her head was still throbbing in pain, but she was starving, and feeling very reluctant to go back and face Willow just yet.
"Th-thanks Xander, but I don't want to impose," she murmured.
"Tara, please?" Dawn pleaded. "It'll be so much fun. We can sing something by the Dixie Chicks!"
Buffy made a face, and Tara smiled shyly. "Well… I guess it would be okay."
Dawn handed the witch her purse, having gathered the contents for her. "I didn't see any willow root, but I have advil if you need it," she offered. "So where's Willow?" she queried casually as they headed toward the karaoke bar.
The inside of the Ryaoke Karaoke- which Xander felt the need to point out reminded him of the name of his favorite anime character- was dim and littered with people, but not jam-packed. Exactly why they'd chosen a Wednesday night. They found their seat and started looking at the music menu, goading each other to go up and sing, periodically applauding the daring souls who actually approached the stage. Buffy was completely fixated on the guy playing piano accompaniment for some of the songs, and so oblivious to the goings-on at the table.
Tara finally accepted the advil and watched quietly while Xander and Anya flirted and acted cute. Dawn grouchily rolled her eyes. The teenager couldn't be much more obvious about her enormous crush on Xander, and Tara could empathize.
"So Dawn, you're studying crystals now?" she asked in an attempt to distract the young woman.
"Yeah, it's really interesting. I like birthstones a lot, and I went out and bought this necklace."
"You know you'd be surprised, but plain old quartz is one of the most powerful stones you can use?"
"Really?"
The distraction worked and they became so involved in the conversation that at first they didn't notice someone familiar watching them from the club entrance, or moments later marching across the room to step up onto the stage. They didn't pay attention at first to the strains of an old Frank Sinatra song coming from the speakers. Then they heard a surprising voice begin, somewhat shakily, to sing.
"Those f-fingers in my hair
That sly come hither stare That strips my conscience bare
It's witchcraft."
Xander and Buffy both gawked up at her in shock. There stood their redheaded friend, clutching the microphone as if for dear life, face drained of all blood, singing. On stage. In front of people!
"Buff, did somebody slip a hallucinogen into my drink, or is that really Willow up there?"
"I really hope this isn't another apocalyptic warning sign," Buffy replied.
"What, does Willow have stage fright or something?" Dawn asked innocently.
"Dawn, that's like saying Donald Duck has a hard time handling stress," Xander answered, still staring dumbfounded at his friend.
Anya calmly sipped her drink.
"And I've got no defense for it The heat is too intense for it What good would common sense for it do?" Willow's voice began to strengthen and level out. The shakiness disappeared as sounds of approval reached her from the audience. She searched out her friends' table with her eyes and fixated on Tara. "'Cause it's witchcraft, wicked witchcraft And although, I know, it's strictly taboo…" She sang that line loudly, and Tara watched with her hands clasped in front of her mouth. Her eyes shone and she stood up to get a better view. "When you arouse the need in me My heart says yes indeed in me Proceed with what you're leading me to!" Xander and Buffy let out encouraging shouts of approval during the musical interlude, and Willow grinned as her face grew flushed. "It's such an ancient pitch But one I wouldn't switch 'Cause there's no nicer witch than you!" Those lines were sung with a very deliberate tone and unfaltering eye contact, and a giggle escaped from Tara. Willow sang the refrain, and finished off the song with a true crescendo and a gesture of her arms, watching Tara the whole time. At the finale, the audience burst into loud applause. Nothing was more well-received than somebody who started off shy and ended with a bang, especially with a good song like that. Willow blushed furiously, and stood looking around with wide eyes as if just realizing what she'd done. The applause died down, and Willow brought the microphone up to speak. "Thanks," she began, sounding timid again. "I just wanted to dedicate that song to Tara. My girlfriend. I love you more than anything, Tara," she professed in a whisper that reached the whole room. Xander and Buffy pushed Tara towards the stage, and she flew up the stairs to grab Willow in a hug much to the delight of the audience. "I can't believe you did that for me," Tara managed, breathless. "I'd never have had the courage if it hadn't been for you," Willow replied, whispering into her ear. "Will you forgive me?" "Of course, will you forgive me?" "Yes!" Anya was happy to observe this development; it meant that Willow would probably not try to steal Xander any time soon. Buffy and Xander were both grinning widely with approval. Dawn just looked confused. Now both of the women on stage were teary-eyed, and hugged again. They pulled apart and their lips met in a chaste but lingering kiss. The karaoke club patrons gave them a standing ovation.