par après avs yeux

- a jalex story-

a/n: This thought came to me after watching the Wizard's finale for the second time - thankfully I just watched the end, though that was bad enough. Anyways, I came up with this little idea and I wanted to present it to all of you. Hopefully it is unique enough and will capture your interest, but please, tell me if you think it's a train-wreck. I'd rather not write a whole story only to find out that no one liked it.

prologue - alex

Une personne rencontre souvent sa destinée sur la route qu'il a prise l'éviter.

A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.

- Jean de La Fontaine

Justin and I love far too freely - one of the few common traits we actually share - and I guess that's what put us in this mess in the first place, though I blame myself for the most part. Justin, in all of his weepy, indecisive glory, has actually had the guts to avoid me. He had the guts to not only block me from his life, but also treat me like I'm the scum under his shoe, like I mean nothing. I don't know why I couldn't do the same. Oh, I could pretend as good as my older brother could, but unlike him I couldn't block the memories or the feelings that had built up over the years.

So much for Alex Russo being the spitfire of the family.

I knew he was disappointed in me, though he never actually said it; that was the worst part. I could handle seeing Juliet drape herself all over him, I could put some force behind the kisses I shared with Mason. I could handle bantering when our parents got a little too suspicious, though it wasn't like we were actually going behind their back. You can't hide something that never really started, so Justin smugly told me.

But I've never been the type to mope over such things, so I live my life. Which is totally why I'm out here on the porch just staring up at the blanket of stars and counting down to the New Year by myself. Totally.

"You're alone?" Justin's voice floats across the patio and I curse my bad hearing. "What devlish plan are you plotting now?"

I roll my eyes back to look at him, watching the shadows play across his face. Then, forcing the carefree smirk on my face, I banter like I'm supposed to. "Oh, you know, nothing much. Just a taser and your favorite Jim Bob Sherwood action figure," I say with a little laugh. I don't understand why we even do this to ourselves anymore, all the hidden innuendos and smiles that never reflect what's really inside us.

"Gah - a - ughhhh - Alex," Justin groans, imitating the old way he used to spaz around me flawlessly. "You never think about anyone but yourself."

Ouch. My smile hardens, and my voice comes out like honey as I say, "Damn, you caught me. I give up." I hold my hands up like I'm surrendering, though inside I'm beginning for him to stop this. It's almost a new year, a new beginning, and he's going to put me in a crappy mood.

"Do you ever give up?" Justin asks, the meaning double-layered. Do you ever give up on us like you should, Alex?

I shake my head, keeping eye contact, "You know me too well to believe that." For a second I think I see the old fear in those beautiful gray eyes, the look he wore frequently the weeks after the first family wizard competition. For a second, the real Justin is back.

"Where's Mason?" Justin questions, and this isn't how it's scripted.

Shrugging loosely, I slump down, kicking my legs over the brick wall so they hover in thin air. Fingers touch my chin and I stop breathing as I realize that my brother is actually touching me.

"It's a full moon," I say, pointing to the sky. My eyes say something totally different. No matter how much I try to involve Mason in my life, it will never be enough. Because unlike you, Justin, I can't just turn my feelings off. Speaking without words is a rather handy practice, I've found. Usually I can get away with saying a lot more than I could if my lips were moving. Justin always said he got lost in my eyes, that they were the most beautiful part of me; so, obviously, I tried to turn it against him.

Justin sits down on the brick wall, his feet planted firmly on the patio. He's never been a risk taker, no matter how hard he tries. It's just not in him.

"It's got to stop, Alex," he whispers softly, fingers playing a melody against my cheek.

"What has to stop?" I ask, tilting my head to the side and giving him an innocent look.

For once, I'm giving him the option to walk away, knowing that he'll take it and this will all be over. Because I'm not sure when things changed, when my brother became just Justin, just a boy; but it's horribly wrong, I know it, in the moments when he's my brother and memories of researching incest surface. I guess the rest of the time I content myself pretending that he's just a boy and I'm just a girl.

Firework explode in the sky, showering the earth with golden and crimson sparks, and Justin's lips press against my cheek. I turn my head just slightly - because some part of me knows that he wants this too, at least for tonight - and the corners of our lips touch. I feel a tremor run through my body and his hand clamps on my arm. Our fingers tangle. Something burns between us, bright, consuming. His eyes flutter and I'm looking into warm gray eyes lit with terror and uncertainty. Then his head tilts ever so slightly and our lips press together.

God, I've missed you, I don't say. The urgency in which his lips attack mine suggests a shift in thinking on Justin's part, a realization that we can't just banish these feelings anymore. When our lips part I'm not the only one who's trembling.

"I couldn't just leave you without your New Years kiss," Justin breathes against my lips, pulling back so he can look at me. "No matter how far I run, I realize that I'm never going anywhere at all."

I smile just barely, my thumb stroking his. "Promise me that we'll be happy," I plead, keeping my voice steady.

Justin's hand slips from mine so slowly I'm barely even aware of it. As he stands up, he says, "We're not normal people, Alex. How could I ever promise you something like that?"

I watch him go inside, then turn to gaze back out over the empty space in front of me. Touching my lips, I smile.

..::.:.:::être continué:::.:.::..

..:.:..::...to be continued..::..:.:::.:..