After my one-shot, We're Not Perverted; it featured the Yaoi Fan Trio! However, I realized France was in that Trio... France is also in the Bad Touch Trio. So...what would happen if the two trios went into battle? Oh, dear, I wonder who would do such a fanfic where Francis must choose a side? Who will France chose?
Pick A Trio
"How dare you insult us, you Prussian bastard!" Elizabeta shouted aggressively.
"I have never met so many disrespectful nations in all my life," said Kiku sadly. "It is such a shame no one else understands its beauty."
"Hey, your yaoi stuff creep me out and it's sick!" Gilbert declared angrily. "Why do you people enjoy two genders of the same kind being in love? AND WHY IS MATTHEW AND I IN THIS MANGA KIKU MADE?"
Gilbert presented evidently the manga book to the defenseless Yaoi Fan Duo. The manga book showed a picture of Gilbert, his fine white hair and red eyes picking up a blond, violet-eyed man into a bridal style.
"It is clearly to show that you and Matthew-kun are a very good pairing, domo arigato!" Kiku huffed with hands on hips.
He shook his head childishly. "I don't care, just why?"
"You're so stupid, he just explained to you!" Elizabeta shouted with an accusing finger.
"M-maybe he didn't understand..." said the Spaniard, Antonio, who hid behind Gilbert. "Um, if you don't mind me asking, mi amigos... Do you have me and Romano in a manga?"
"Oh my Awesome God, Antonio!" Gilbert unhappily said who turned his body to view his tiny friend. "We get you want Romano to bang you, but it's not HAPPENING!"
Due to the harsh words of his friend, Antonio, with his greenish eyes, cried tears that pooled his rosy tomato cheeks. Elizabeta and Kiku suddenly felt pity for the Spaniard and decided to go by his side. Elizabeta spoke sweetly that Spamano was a good ship like USUK, and Kiku showed him his sketches of Spamano works he was going to make in his next manga.
Antonio regained his confidence and was pleased that he saw Kiku's work. Gilbert, however, was not moved by this random act of kindness.
"I'm still not convinced that this is normal!" he declared, arms folded to his chest with a glaring glare.
"Then why are you still holding the manga book if you hate it?" asked Elizabeta who patted Antonio's back and glared at Gilbert. "Also, how did you even get that book?"
Puzzlingly, Gilbert held the manga book close. "None of your business! Once France comes here, you're in for it!" said Gilbert.
"Ha, like he would join you when we have the power of Yaoi, BITCH!"
"Well, we have the Bad Touch Trio! We touch things badly so that's why we're called like that!"
Antonio sighed again. "That's why we don't get anyone to date us… We touch them inappropriately."
XxXxXxX
Francis was taking a stroll down the hallway. He wanted to be presented as 'fashionably late' while the conference took place. He swished his hips like sexy woman without a care of his outfit choice. Despite this, he should have had been there twenty minutes ago. It was a discussion about him, so it meant that they had to wait for him.
And everyone knew that if it involved him they have no choice but to wait. Much to their dismay of his goddamn 'fashionably late' crap he adored to do every time.
"I wonder if everyone will like my new outfit?" he asked himself as he got to end of the hall. "Gucci is the latest thing, and I look just fabulous!"
Francis got to the door and from where he stood he heard something inside. What was going on? Francis thought there was something important going inside.
"Oh, Mon Dieu!" Francis gasped, shocked. "How could they do this to me? They didn't invite me to their party, how cruel!"
Excluding all expectations of battling, messy food fights or other various ideas, Francis took hold of the handle and opened the large door. Witnessing to his apprehension, he saw Elizabeta and Gilbert fighting in a big bundle of bloody mess! When they heard the door opened and saw Francis, both became gleeful to see him. As for Kiku, he was holding onto Antonio's shoulder because he wanted to prevent him getting caught of the bloody fight.
Elizabeta gasped, clutching Gilbert's shirt collar, preparing her humongous punch when she saw Francis running to the fight which ceased.
"Francis!" Elizabeta said. "Thank goodness, you came just in time!" Elizabeta took one glaring look on her enemy and gave him a good punch on the face that sent him to the floor.
Francis saw his good friend tumbled down to the floor with blood gushing out of his nose rapidly that the floor got dirty. Before Francis had the chance to ask what the hell was going on, Elizabeta grabbed hold of his arm and hugged it. Right then he felt a suspicious feeling of romance in this, which was typical for the failing French pervert.
"Francis, you must tell those jerks that we appreciate yaoi very much. They insulted the beautiful form right in front of us and I can't believe they don't such a terrible thing!" As if on cue, Elizabeta began choking herself with meaningful tears of devastation.
"Gilbert, Antonio, is this all true?" shrieked Francis who looked at his friends miserably.
"Um, I think Gilbert is out... But I'm on your side; I think yaoi is fun now!" said Antonio cheerfully.
After a moment's pause, Francis turned to the past out Gilbert (despite what Antonio just said). "Gilbert, is this true?"
Gilbert only responded with a dysfunctional grunt that sounded like, "I hate her so much..."
Elizabeta smirked deviously. "And I hate you, too." she then turned to Francis. "Okay, partner. We, like, really need you to pick a side. Ah, but it's obvious you're picking us so we don't need this bickering to last any longer, right?"
That was when, almost impossible, Gilbert leaped up to his knees and trembled to his feet which Antonio budged off of Kiku's grip and, taking his friend's arm, put it over him and Gilbert gave an evil stare.
"There is no way in hell I'm letting my kumpel join with a bunch of girls!" he shouted, then he heard a deep growl from Kiku which was unexpected from the quiet nation.
"As if I'm letting you steal our best friend!" Elizabeta resorted.
"Mi amigo, we don't want you to leave us! Don't you remember the times we had together since the beginning of time? We kicked ass, we're the Bad Touch Trio!"
"Well, he's with the Yaoi Fan Trio!" Elizabeta pulled Francis closer and backed away.
However, Gilbert regained his strength to stand on his own and raced to Francis' open arm to pull him away.
"No, Bad Touch Trio!"
"Yaoi Fan Trio!"
"BAD TOUCH TRIO!"
"YAOI FAN TRIO!"
"STOP THIS! YOU'RE DAMAGING MY BEAUTIFUL ARMS!"
It was then that the two rivals realized they were hurting their chance to beat one another's trio. Releasing Francis' arms, Elizabeta and Gilbert stood their ground while Francis looked at each other very distastefully.
"I have just about enough of you two fighting about who I should be with," said Francis adult-like. "Elizabeta, I thought I taught you well that yaoi should be hush-hush, didn't I?"
"But-"
"HUSH-HUSH!" Francis bickered angrily. Elizabeta doped her head down shamefully. He turned to Gilbert who gulped nervously. "And as for you, Gilbert, you should know better than to fight a woman—especially a yaoi fangirl! You'll never win from one and as for your manga, I requested that idea of you and Matthew because I know for a fact you and he are dating."
Elizabeta glanced at Gilbert with a snickering look and Gilbert was blushing bright red.
"Now, I want both of you to reconcile by giving each other a hug."
Elizabeta and Gilbert looked up at Francis with horror, then to each other distastefully. However, Francis was quite clear about wanting them to reconcile, so both of them had no choice but to do so.
And so, the two of them opened their arms and in disgust gave a hug.
Kiku, if you can hear my mind, thought Francis, I need you to draw some sketches of a male version of Elizabeta. I think I made a new series for you!
Francis looked over to Kiku with high hopes. Kiku was busy sketching of Elizabeta and Gilbert like a lightning bolt.
"Hey, Francis," Elizabeta said, still hugging Gilbert uncomfortably, "are you going to pick a trio?"
"Eliza, I'm in both trios. Nothing will change me to pick a side, so I suggest we join our trios together!" he said gleefully.
And that was when Gilbert and Elizabeta pushed each other off and began to battle. Francis only smiled; he knew they weren't going to work together.
Well, that escalated so quickly. You see kids? That's why you should never smoke crack while making a fanfic, it will create a real life crackfic for you! Please enjoy if you like the trios!