Author's Notes: This is pointless but hopefully entertaining. Also, it's set in the revised version of the book where the rules of thought-speak match with the rest of the series.

The secret entrance closed behind Chapman; I didn't even think of following. Instead I turned around and ran off, slipping under the closet door as fast as my little legs could carry me.

I felt sick to the pit of my stomach, and it wasn't just the spider still fighting to get out. I had what we needed. Part of me really wished that I hadn't found it, but I had, so now it was time to get back to my locker and get out of this awful lizard body as quickly I possible.

I dashed across the hall, then began to run along the row of lockers, searching for...

A stopped. A problem suddenly occurred to me.

Which one was my locker?

I could have kicked myself for not thinking of this detail. I shook my head, which probably looked pretty ridiculous at the moment, and tried to think. Okay, I used my locker practically every day; my feet could take me to it on instinct. Or at least, my normal feet could. But I still knew where it was. It was...how many lockers down from the left? Or the right?

New plan. Tentatively, I went to the nearest locker and began to climb up the side. It was weird, but my four legs stuck to it easily and my lizard brain was used to this, so I tried to let it take over as I scurried up the cold metal to the top of the locker. Then, using the eyes on the side of my head, I tried to see the little plate with the number on it.

341. I scurried further down the line, to the next locker. 343, 345...

Eventually I found my locker, 361, and slipped back in through the slots. Sure enough, I crawled down the side and soon found my clothes huddled in a pile at the bottom.

Okay, good. Now to just turn human again, and...

Wait. The fact that I was now standing on top of my shirt with four tiny lizard legs meant that when I turned back to human, I wasn't going to be wearing anything. And I couldn't get dressed in my locker―it had barely been big enough for me to stand in.

Now I was really regretting this plan. I took a moment to consider my options: one, turn back to human, open my locker door and get dressed out in the hallway as quickly as possible. Not going to happen if there was any way to avoid it.

Two, I needed help.

Marco had Biology with Mr. Tidwell; that was halfway across the school, so trying to get there as a lizard would be next to impossible. I was pretty sure that Rachel had gym for first period. I had no idea where Tobias was. But Cassie had Mrs. Maas, which was right down the next hall.

For a moment I really considered trying to get Marco. Then I scampered out of the locker and made my way toward Mrs. Maas' room.

Once again I was stymied trying to find it, but I eventually climbed on the wall between two doors; I was pretty sure that one of them was right. Now, how to get Cassie out?

I remembered what the Andalite said, about being able to direct his thoughts at only certain people. I had no choice but to test if I had that power too. I pictured her in my mind, concentrated and said ((Cassie.))

I paused, as though waiting for a response, and then felt stupid for expecting one—after all, Tobias hadn't been able to hear me when we tested that before. ((Cassie, this is Jake,)) I said, and then felt stupid again, because who else was it going to be? ((I'm outside the room. I need your help with something.))

I waited for what felt like a very long time, though I'm pretty sure it was actually about a minute. It was more than enough time to consider all the ways that this plan might not have worked.

But luckily for me, the door opened, and I could more or less make out Cassie's head as she closed it gently behind her. "Jake?" she whispered, peering around on the ground.

((Right here. On the wall,)) I added.

"Oh! Is everything okay?" She was still whispering, eyes darting both ways down the hall. "Did Chapman catch you or something?"

((No, I'm fine. I just...need you to get my clothes before I morph back.))

"Oh." She sounded as embarrassed as I felt.

((Yeah, it's just...the locker is too cramped for me to get dressed in.)) I tried to play it off like this was funny. ((You were right, you need to teach the rest of us how to morph clothes.))

"Yeah. Anyway...um, here—"

She reached out her hand, and after a second's hesitation I scurried onto her palm and up her arm. "What's your locker number again? 360-something?"

((361.))

When we got there she reached in and grabbed my clothes, once again looking around the hall. If somebody had been watched they would have immediately noticed how suspicious she was acting. "What now?"

((I guess...bring them to the bathroom or something. I'll change back in a stall.))

"A stall in your bathroom or mine?"

Another complication. ((I don't know. The men's room, I guess. I mean—I'd probably get in more trouble coming out of a girl's bathroom than if you get caught coming out of a guy's,)) I said, trying to sound apologetic with my mental voice.

She didn't seem thrilled about the idea, but she found the nearest men's room, peeked inside to make sure that it was empty, and then quickly deposited me and my clothes on the floor of the stall closest to the door. "Do you want me to stay here and guard you or something?" she asked.

((No,)) I said quickly. ((Just get back to class. And thanks.))

"You're welcome."

She quickly hurried out of the room. I waited, just to hear if someone was going to accost her outside the door, and then began to change back to human.

I was about the size of a chihuahua, with human fingers and a few patches of normal skin, when I heard the bathroom door open again. Heavy footsteps were headed in my direction.

My lizard brain began to panic again. So did my human brain. If this guy needed a urinal, I was theoretically safe. But otherwise...well, even a casual glance for feet would instead reveal something that was about 80% lizard, 20% naked teenage boy. The door wasn't even locked, and I was still too small to reach it.

On instinct I scurried under the partition into the next stall, just as the door to the first stall opened. I watched, still with lizard eyes, as a kid a little older than me bent down, rifling through the clothes that were still on the bathroom floor.

"The hell? Is somebody streaking?" he muttered. Then he shrugged, threw them out of the stall and...well, I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

I lay on my stomach, still halfway morphed, not daring to move or finish the transformation. It took the kid about five minutes to finish, at which point he flushed and exited the stall, stepping over my clothes as he went.

I remained frozen until I was sure that he was gone, then shimmied back into the first stall. About thirty seconds later I was tall enough to reach up and lock the door with a decisive CLICK! Then when I was fully human I reached under it, pulled my clothes back into the stall and began to dress as quickly as I could.

"Yeah," I muttered to myself. "I definitely need to work on this whole 'planning' thing."