Summary: What happens after Chosen...My Way. B/S
Rated: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own BtVS, or any of the characters...so please don't hurt
me!
Chapter One: Rebirth
A Light in the Darkness
Deep, ragged breathing woke Dawn Summers. She turned to see which of the many girls sleeping on the floor of the warehouse was having nightmares. She was looking forward to the Slayerettes returning home. It'd just be her and Buffy again. Sighing, Dawn tiptoed over the girls, till she stood before the sleeping mass of Buffy, Xander, Giles, and Willow. They were all lying close together, and it brought back memories of better times. Xander was snoring lightly, but nothing else. Willow had a placid smile on her face, still sleeping off her mega mojo from the afternoon. Giles was just...Giles. That left Buffy. Again, Buffy moaned in her sleep, her breath hitching and rasping from her body.
"Buffy! Buffy get up!" Dawn whispered, placing a hand on her sister's shoulder and shaking her lightly. No movement. Dawn was about to shake her again when Buffy's eyes snapped open and her hand shot out and caught Dawn in a death grip.
"Ouch! Buffy it's me! Chill" Dawn said, wrenching her hand from Buffy's. Recognition flashed in Buffy's eyes, and she sighed almost in relief. "Come on, let's go outside. You were having a bad dream." Dawn said to her confused looking sister. Buffy nodded, realizing Dawn had no clue of how bad her dream was.
Outside, the air was cool and the sky was a glittering field of stars. Dawn crouched on the dusty step and motioned for Buffy to do the same. "Are you okay?" she asked Buffy, concern in her voice. Buffy shook her head, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I don't know Dawn...I really don't know. Spike..." she trailed, feeling Dawn wrap her arms around her.
"I know, I'm going to miss him too." Dawn whispered, her voice choked with emotion. Buffy sniffled, not wanting to cry about this with her sister. Dawn had no idea how deep the wounds ran-how vivid her dream had been. It wasn't about missing Spike. It was about loving Spike; needing him to function like as normal a person as Buffy could ever be.
Nothing was ever going to be the same, ever again. No more Sunnydale. No more house, Magic Box, high school, grave yard...Hellmouth. It was time for a rebirth of everything Buffy and Dawn and the others had ever known. It was time to fit into society. There were other slayers now, others to help carry the burden. Buffy knew she couldn't go back to what she had been before being called. There was no possible way to do so. She had grown far too much, gained a sister and friends and relationships which she could never forget- and never wanted to. She was afraid of the real world. Buffy couldn't slay to solve her problems there. The only thing she had to look forward to was a job, bills, and more bills.
Sighing, Buffy leaned on her sister, "Go on back inside, Dawnie. I'd like to be alone for a minute, I'll be back in soon, I promise. We both need our sleep. Busy day tomorrow," Buffy assured her sister, looking to the heavens again. Dawn nodded, feeling bad she couldn't help. She gave her sister another tight squeeze before reluctantly letting go and standing. She disappeared back into the dark building, leaving Buffy to face her fears alone.
The dream had been so real...Buffy had seen the high school, caved in and crumbling. It was filled with water, a placid lake on a bed of destruction. In her dream, she had went to it, dipped her hand in its sun warmed waters. A tear had fallen from her eyes, landing in the dark waters, making a ripple on the lake...a large ripple; too large for one tear. Buffy had been afraid, the ground below her quaking. She though that it was an earth quake, but she knew on the Hellmouth it was anything but. Below the surface...far, far away something burned a fiery red, like underwater lava. Bubbles reached the surface, breaking and popping loudly, the shaking still there. A booming voice came into her mind. "He does not belong with us. He is yours. Hell cannot take him, he is yours." The red faded, bubbles stopped rising.
Curious, she peeked over the edge, waters dark again. Something white was drifting lazily below the surface, a long garment. Buffy dipped her hands in, trying to reach it. It was too far down. Shoving her sleeves up, she plunged her arms into the abyss of water, fingers scraping the cloth. Still no good, not long enough arms. Buffy lay down on the shore, upper body hovering an inch above the water. Using her strength, she plunged her head and arms beneath the surface, snapping her eyes open to glimpse at the cloth. There! She could reach it now. Her fingers brushed it again and she yanked, catching the heavy linen. She used her leg muscles to pull herself and the item back up, and when her head broke the surface, she was gasping and panting.
Buffy pulled the linen out, feeling something heavy at its end. She grasped it with both hands, and yanked as hard as she could. All at once, a body broke the surface! Buffy jumped back, face a mask of confusion and horror. As the body's head broke the surface, a ragged cry broke from her throat. A crown of soggy, curly hair, once bleached blonde, and a face of an angel met her. Spike...
Thinking about her dream, Buffy felt the tears come. She let them fall over her, wetting her hair and cheeks. Dawn had woken her then, and she hadn't wanted to leave that world. She needed to know, wanted to...was it real? Buffy had been having slayer dreams since she could remember...but she didn't know if this was one. Deep down, Buffy knew that it would eat at her, and she knew it must not be real. There was no water to fill the massive crater. No way for Spike to return. It was wishful thinking, a way to act out on the loss she felt deep in her bones.
She glanced at her wrist, the burns from touching him in that last moment, their last words echoing in her head. "I love you." She had confessed, it had been true all along but she had refused to admit it. His response had frozen her blood, but she knew he had said it to make her leave him. The sad smile had said more than Spike had wanted it to, "No you don't. But thanks for saying it. Now go! I wanna see how it ends." She had left, reluctantly, but there was a sister who needed her. Part of her wanted to die with him, and part of her had...a piece of her felt empty and cold. She knew she'd always feel the void, and it scared her. Could she survive without Spike? Buffy hoped so. Something had to make the tears stop flowing, because she was helpless in this emotion.
Buffy wiped away the tears with her hand, wondering why things had to be this way. She had lost friends and fellow slayers, but won the battle. Was it worth it? For Buffy, it had to be. The loss she suffered was great, and if any thoughts of her actions as futile entered her mind, she knew she would have lost Spike and the others for no good reason. That was something that Buffy just couldn't bear. "I miss you..." Buffy whispered into the night, hugging her arms tight against her. She let her last tears fall, before putting on her strong front and entering the warehouse. Buffy knew she wouldn't find sleep, and certainly not peace, but if she reveled in her sadness anymore this night it would kill her. The wounds were too fresh. She glanced at the stars, before shutting the door. This was the first of many hard days to come.
A/N: Hey, if you like it, review it! That's how it works. If I get reviews, I continue a story. Thanks for reading. I'm open to suggestions. Hope to write more soon! -FL-
A Light in the Darkness
Deep, ragged breathing woke Dawn Summers. She turned to see which of the many girls sleeping on the floor of the warehouse was having nightmares. She was looking forward to the Slayerettes returning home. It'd just be her and Buffy again. Sighing, Dawn tiptoed over the girls, till she stood before the sleeping mass of Buffy, Xander, Giles, and Willow. They were all lying close together, and it brought back memories of better times. Xander was snoring lightly, but nothing else. Willow had a placid smile on her face, still sleeping off her mega mojo from the afternoon. Giles was just...Giles. That left Buffy. Again, Buffy moaned in her sleep, her breath hitching and rasping from her body.
"Buffy! Buffy get up!" Dawn whispered, placing a hand on her sister's shoulder and shaking her lightly. No movement. Dawn was about to shake her again when Buffy's eyes snapped open and her hand shot out and caught Dawn in a death grip.
"Ouch! Buffy it's me! Chill" Dawn said, wrenching her hand from Buffy's. Recognition flashed in Buffy's eyes, and she sighed almost in relief. "Come on, let's go outside. You were having a bad dream." Dawn said to her confused looking sister. Buffy nodded, realizing Dawn had no clue of how bad her dream was.
Outside, the air was cool and the sky was a glittering field of stars. Dawn crouched on the dusty step and motioned for Buffy to do the same. "Are you okay?" she asked Buffy, concern in her voice. Buffy shook her head, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I don't know Dawn...I really don't know. Spike..." she trailed, feeling Dawn wrap her arms around her.
"I know, I'm going to miss him too." Dawn whispered, her voice choked with emotion. Buffy sniffled, not wanting to cry about this with her sister. Dawn had no idea how deep the wounds ran-how vivid her dream had been. It wasn't about missing Spike. It was about loving Spike; needing him to function like as normal a person as Buffy could ever be.
Nothing was ever going to be the same, ever again. No more Sunnydale. No more house, Magic Box, high school, grave yard...Hellmouth. It was time for a rebirth of everything Buffy and Dawn and the others had ever known. It was time to fit into society. There were other slayers now, others to help carry the burden. Buffy knew she couldn't go back to what she had been before being called. There was no possible way to do so. She had grown far too much, gained a sister and friends and relationships which she could never forget- and never wanted to. She was afraid of the real world. Buffy couldn't slay to solve her problems there. The only thing she had to look forward to was a job, bills, and more bills.
Sighing, Buffy leaned on her sister, "Go on back inside, Dawnie. I'd like to be alone for a minute, I'll be back in soon, I promise. We both need our sleep. Busy day tomorrow," Buffy assured her sister, looking to the heavens again. Dawn nodded, feeling bad she couldn't help. She gave her sister another tight squeeze before reluctantly letting go and standing. She disappeared back into the dark building, leaving Buffy to face her fears alone.
The dream had been so real...Buffy had seen the high school, caved in and crumbling. It was filled with water, a placid lake on a bed of destruction. In her dream, she had went to it, dipped her hand in its sun warmed waters. A tear had fallen from her eyes, landing in the dark waters, making a ripple on the lake...a large ripple; too large for one tear. Buffy had been afraid, the ground below her quaking. She though that it was an earth quake, but she knew on the Hellmouth it was anything but. Below the surface...far, far away something burned a fiery red, like underwater lava. Bubbles reached the surface, breaking and popping loudly, the shaking still there. A booming voice came into her mind. "He does not belong with us. He is yours. Hell cannot take him, he is yours." The red faded, bubbles stopped rising.
Curious, she peeked over the edge, waters dark again. Something white was drifting lazily below the surface, a long garment. Buffy dipped her hands in, trying to reach it. It was too far down. Shoving her sleeves up, she plunged her arms into the abyss of water, fingers scraping the cloth. Still no good, not long enough arms. Buffy lay down on the shore, upper body hovering an inch above the water. Using her strength, she plunged her head and arms beneath the surface, snapping her eyes open to glimpse at the cloth. There! She could reach it now. Her fingers brushed it again and she yanked, catching the heavy linen. She used her leg muscles to pull herself and the item back up, and when her head broke the surface, she was gasping and panting.
Buffy pulled the linen out, feeling something heavy at its end. She grasped it with both hands, and yanked as hard as she could. All at once, a body broke the surface! Buffy jumped back, face a mask of confusion and horror. As the body's head broke the surface, a ragged cry broke from her throat. A crown of soggy, curly hair, once bleached blonde, and a face of an angel met her. Spike...
Thinking about her dream, Buffy felt the tears come. She let them fall over her, wetting her hair and cheeks. Dawn had woken her then, and she hadn't wanted to leave that world. She needed to know, wanted to...was it real? Buffy had been having slayer dreams since she could remember...but she didn't know if this was one. Deep down, Buffy knew that it would eat at her, and she knew it must not be real. There was no water to fill the massive crater. No way for Spike to return. It was wishful thinking, a way to act out on the loss she felt deep in her bones.
She glanced at her wrist, the burns from touching him in that last moment, their last words echoing in her head. "I love you." She had confessed, it had been true all along but she had refused to admit it. His response had frozen her blood, but she knew he had said it to make her leave him. The sad smile had said more than Spike had wanted it to, "No you don't. But thanks for saying it. Now go! I wanna see how it ends." She had left, reluctantly, but there was a sister who needed her. Part of her wanted to die with him, and part of her had...a piece of her felt empty and cold. She knew she'd always feel the void, and it scared her. Could she survive without Spike? Buffy hoped so. Something had to make the tears stop flowing, because she was helpless in this emotion.
Buffy wiped away the tears with her hand, wondering why things had to be this way. She had lost friends and fellow slayers, but won the battle. Was it worth it? For Buffy, it had to be. The loss she suffered was great, and if any thoughts of her actions as futile entered her mind, she knew she would have lost Spike and the others for no good reason. That was something that Buffy just couldn't bear. "I miss you..." Buffy whispered into the night, hugging her arms tight against her. She let her last tears fall, before putting on her strong front and entering the warehouse. Buffy knew she wouldn't find sleep, and certainly not peace, but if she reveled in her sadness anymore this night it would kill her. The wounds were too fresh. She glanced at the stars, before shutting the door. This was the first of many hard days to come.
A/N: Hey, if you like it, review it! That's how it works. If I get reviews, I continue a story. Thanks for reading. I'm open to suggestions. Hope to write more soon! -FL-