Updated Again. Sorry for Formatting Issues. This is my first story, please give me feedback so I can make this as good as possible.
Chapter 1: It's All About the Drama
Chris stood in front of the camera. "Hello, folks! Chris McLean here, going at you with the hottest season of Canada's best competition show. Here, we are pushing our thirty-six returning contestants to the very limits for their chance to win-"
Chef interrupted "Wait, I thought there were thirty-eight contestants," Chris groaned. "We are NOT bringing back Blaineley. EVER! And Ezekiel is still in counseling to become...umm...human again. As I was saying, we have thirty six returning contestants, competing for the chance to win: Five...Million...DOLLARS! Right here, on Total. Drama. Royale!"
Chef rolled his eyes. "I don't get paid enough for this,"
(Cue theme song)
Chris chuckled crazily. "Let's welcome our victi- uh, er, I mean, first and second-generation contestants back to Camp Wawanakwa! First up, the amazingly talented arch-villain, the winner of the third season, El Diablo Bonito, Alejandro Dead Donkey!"
"¡Es Burromuerto, pendejo!" the annoyed Spaniard responded. Chris and Chef continued to chuckle as Alejandro went to the end of the dock.
"Now, welcome back to the first New-generation cast member, Jersey shore reject, Anne Mari-cough, cough, enough with the hairspray!" Chris whined as he inhaled the fumes of the can. "That million dollas is mine, baby!" she responded, spraying more from her cans and standing next to Alejandro. Chris groaned.
"What is (cough) in that stuff? Anyways, our next contestant is another next generation camper: the strong, silent genius: Beverly!" B gave a hand signal as he followed Anne Maria off the docks with his luggage.
"Still not one for words, eh B? Anyways, we have TDA runner-up, everyone's favorite wannabe: Beth!" Beth smiled as she went to the end of the dock.
"Next up, our favorite soldier and pants-wetter, Brick McArthur!" the cadet ran up. "Brick McArthur reporting for duty, sir!" the cadet greeted.
"Our sixth competitor is resident soulful surfer Bridgette, followed by bubble-boy Cameron!" Bridgette waved to the other competitors as she helped a struggling Cameron to carry his suitcase to the end of the docks.
Chris sighed. "Sheesh. Anyways: Season 3 finalist, Cody!" Cody grinned as he went back with the others. "And the competitor who has tried to sue me multiple times for pathetic reasons, Courtney!" Chris put on an obviously strained smile as Courtney walked past him, mumbling "You'll be hearing from my lawyers," When she went back with the rest of the competitors, only Bridgette was really happy to see her.
Chris relaxed his face. "Well, here comes the one contestant who has the right to sue me, Dakota Milton! Again, sorry about the-"
"It's fine, Chris," Dakota said, although her facial expression read otherwise. She was now at a normal height and looked relatively normal, with the exception of her still-green hair. Chris exhaled nervously.
"Man, her dad was furious. Next up, the Aura Whisperer, Dawn!" Dawn smiled sweetly as she joined the others. "Next up, another animal lover, and a muscle man with lots of love: DJ! Let's see if he's finally gotten over his curse," DJ grimaced.
"Alright, next up, Season 2 winner, the delinquent sweetheart that destroyed my cottage, Duncan!"
"IT WAS NOT A COTTAGE!" Courtney and Alejandro yelled in unison. It was hard to tell what Courtney was more pissed off about: the fact that Chris was being a self-absorbed jerk as usual, or the fact Duncan was back.
"McLean, if you EVER call me a sweetheart again, Alejandro's accident would look like a spa treatment in comparison," Chris instantly regretted sending Duncan to adult prison. "Just...go with the rest of the campers," Duncan put his switchblade back in his pocket and went to join the others. Most of them looked at him either in disgust or fear. There were a few exceptions, most notably Beth, Cameron and DJ. "Hey guys! How's it been?" Duncan quickly went back to catching up with the three, much to the shock of the others, including Chris.
"Ummmm, let's move on. Contestant #14 is returning for the first time since Total Drama Island. Welcome back, Eva!" Bridgette whimpered in horror as the female bully got off the docks and began to growl at her. Chris smiled. "This. Is gonna be AWESOME!"
"Not for Bridgette," Cameron piped up.
"That's how it's gonna be awesome. Anywho, if Eva can make Bridgette unhappy, then this guy will do exactly the opposite. It's…..Geoff!" Sure enough, Bridgette's frown turned upside down. "Hey dudes!" Geoff exclaimed. "Great to be back, man. Where's Bridge?"
"Right back there with the others. One more thing, anything in my cabin is off-limits,"
"What do you mea...is this about the tanning bed?"
"Just go join the others," Geoff listened and headed over to the other 14 people waiting for him. "Hey dudes!" He and Bridge quickly began to make out. Duncan and DJ chuckled. "Here we go again,"
"Number 16 is Season 1 runner-up and our most notable goth girl: Gwen!" Gwen trudged past Chris, stopping next to Cameron and glaring angrily at Courtney. The list had most certainly not been forgotten.
"Gosh, tough break. Speaking of gosh, welcome back Harold!" Chris said as the said Harold walked past him.
"Hey Doris! How was lightsaber death with a samurai outfit?"
"Quit calling me Doris, Duncan! GOSH!"
"Called it. Anyway, here comes the big one: Heather!" Everybody but Alejandro groaned as the Queen Bee walked off as fashionable and devious as ever. "You better not cheat me out of the money this time Chris," she threatened.
"Give me a break, that wasn't my fault. Either way, good luck. You're gonna need it," Heather rolled her eyes.
"If you think Heather's scary, wait you see her again. Watch your back, Chef,"
Chef's face dropped. "No. Oh no. Not-"
"Yeah-huh. It's….IZZY!"
"YEE-HAH!" As if on cue, Izzy jumped onto the deck, and then onto Chef."Get this crazy girl off of me!" Chef screamed desperately. The other contestants began laughing their heads off. "Ok people, that's enough!" Chris said, still struggling not to laugh.
"Now for the new generation's Jockette: Jo!"
"Huh. More like this years winner, Chris McLame," Jo said. Everybody that had competed in Revenge of the Island or All-Stars rolled their eyes or put their hands in their face.
"You can just give me the suitcase and be over with-Whoa!" Jo stopped talking as she got her first glimpse of Justin. Almost all the girls began gushing immediately. "As you can see, this contestant needs no introduction! Moving on to make our 22 minute deadline, this contestant still shares a brain cell with her best friend. It's Katie!"
"Where's Sadie?" Katie immediately asked. Chris groaned "I told you, she's coming!"
"Next up, the girl with the most up on Heather, Leshawna!" Harold began gaping.
"Our bubble boy's worst nightmare, Lightning!" Cameron squeaked in horror.
"What she lacks in brains, she makes up for in looks: Lindsay!"
"Hey Craig! Great to be back!" Chris rolled his eyes. "It's Chris,"
"Wow, I gotta think of a faster way to introduce everybody. Oh well, here comes Season 5 winner, no-longer multiple Mike!" Alejandro looked cautiously, Duncan watched worriedly, Cameron smiled with an obvious sense of uncertainty, and Heather glared angrily at Mike, with the obvious memories of Mal.
Anne Maria, however, squealed in glee. Cameron gave Gwen a look that said Oh Boy. "Anne Maria, I have a girlfriend," Mike said, obviously embarrassed about Revenge of the Island. "That goody-goody Zoey? Come on Vi-" Anne Maria was interrupted by Chris. "Enough! GEEEZ!" Chris yelled, now becoming inpatient.
"Next up, the Know-it-all Noah and the Human Vacuum Owen!" "This is so awesome!" Owen exclaimed. "When's dinner?"
"Maybe we should go get your crazy ex," Noah interrupted. Sure enough, Izzy was still on top of Chef, who trying to beat her with a ladle. While Owen and Noah tried to get Izzy, Chris went back to his hosting job.
"Welcome back to-"
"YEEEEEE!" Sadie and Katie exclaimed as they were finally reunited. Everyone else groaned.
"Gamer boy, Sam! Speaking of which, I'll be needing that until you leave," Sam sighed and put his GameBoy in Chris's hand.
"Welcome back Courtney's other ex-boyfriend and Fang's favorite chew toy, Scott!" Everybody from the second generation began glaring at the skinny redhead, while Courtney covered her face in shame.
Cody began looking around nervously. "Somebody hide me! Please!" Before anyone could help him, his worst fear became true.
"YAY! It's so good to see you again, Codykins!" Sierra began hugging Cody, while he stood in horror and humiliation. "We are gonna win this together and-"
"Yeah! My great-great-great-uncle Jack invented winning. Before him, everyone was just losers,"
"Oh great, it's Staci," Chris mumbled into his hands."Next up, lead guitarist for the Drama Boys and the Jock that's bad at sports!" Lindsay looked like her birthday had come early, while Gwen started blushing as Trent and Tyler joined the rest of them.
"Last but not least, Season 5 finalist, Zoey!" Zoey quickly joined the others, placing herself next to Mike and Cameron.
"All right campers. Our lawyers have gone through a lot of work to make this the best season of Total Drama yet! You guys will be competing for $5,000,000, and with that kind of money comes a whole lot more challenging trials, and new rules. Starting off, there will be NO team switching once you are assigned. Once a camper has been eliminated, they will not be returning as a competitor. When I say ever on this one, I mean it." The contestants began mumbling among themselves.
"Next up, I- Geoff and Bridgette, there will be time to make out AFTER I'm finished talking! As I was saying, this season will have a lot more drama and action, and we have almost every contestant here, from the best of the best to the sad and pathetic. I recommend you make wise strategies, because you guys all know what to expect. Or do you?" he began chuckling maniacally.
"Uh Chris, remember? Counseling?" Chef whispered. Chris quickly snapped out of it.
"Okay, now it's time to choose your teams. There will be two teams of 18, with 9 boys and 9 girls on each team. The teams will be created using a random selection system, aka, a hat with names in it. When I call out your name and assign you to your team, you guys will join your respective teams and wait until we're done. Now, before we begin, the confessional is open for any first impressions," Almost immediately, the 36 campers began swarming for the outhouse.
Confessional
Trent: It's definitely great to be back, but man, it's really awkward seeing Gwen again, and infuriating to see Duncan. I think that this time around I have to be less focused on Gwen and more focused on making it to the merge.
(static)
Dakota: Finally, my mutation has subsided enough that I can compete again. This time around, there's no photo shoots, so it's gonna be me in the finale!
(static)
Cameron: It's great to be back, but right now the only people I can trust are Zoey and Gwen. Sorry Mike, I'm just not sure what to believe after the whole Mal thing.
(static)
(Geoff and Bridgette are making out)
Chris (knocking on the door): OUT! GET OUT! I am not going through this again! (Geoff and Bridgette roll their eyes)
(static)
Courtney: After what happened last season, I've been avoided by practically everybody at university. Right now, Bridgette's the only friend I have, and with these many people, I doubt it's enough. Chris, when I win that money, I am suing you forever!
(static)
Scott: Alright, I'm gonna need a new strategy. I know that nobody trusts me, and if my team loses the first challenge, I'm gonna be the first out of 36 to go. I need more time! Come on Scotty, think…
(static)
Noah: Well, I know Gwen already said it, but so far this sucks.
(static)
Sierra: EEEEEEE! I am so gonna win this for Cody! I LOVE YOU MY CODYBEAR!
(static)
Cody: HELP ME! SOMEBODY?! ANYONE?!
(static)
Staci: My great-great (clip is fast-forwarded) invented outhouses! Yeah, before her, everyone just-"
(static)
Chris looked at his watch. "Come on, people, time is money here! Ahh! We're gonna have to do team selections next time. Who will be happy with their team? Who will want to kill even more afterwards? And who will be the first to go? Find out right here on: Total. Drama. Royale!" Chef ran screaming in the background, followed by a cackling Izzy, with Owen and Noah in close pursuit. Chris rolled his eyes.
Chapter 2 will be coming soon. I'm trying to make this season as dramatic as possible. I've got a few plans already made, but I would love challenge ideas. Peace out.
UPDATE: Minor changes made.