"Yo, Medic, how do you think you're gunna die?" Scout asked one night as they all ate whatever the now passed out Scottsman had cooked up for dinner. Their Pyro had been their personal chef until that day, when he had the misfortune of receiving a knife in the back. Scout shifted about in his chair, pointing his fork still with bits of noodle on it menacingly at the other, "Like, how do you wanna die? Can't say dyin' in your sleep, either, chucklnuts."

The German man looked up from his plate, the warmth of Heavy's arm slung loosely around his body comforting him as he thought on such a difficult topic. "Aggh," he started of, "I vould have to say dying in zhe eiserne jungfrau vould be preferable."

"The fuck is that?" Scout asked through his mouthful of food, stabbing at the items on his plate to get more.

A smirk crossed Medic's lips as he thought about the torture device, but it was Spy who supplied the answer, "I believe ze term is 'iron maiden.'" However, Scout was still lost. "A torture device."

"Why the hell would you wanna die from that?" Scout asked, waving the fork about, the food upon it threatening to fall off at a moment's notice.

Continuing on, unabated, Medic added, "Or vas is zhe vord... Ach! I vould like to be quartered." Spy rose an eyebrow, his mask hiding his intrigue, but Scout's face easily showed his confusion. He had no idea what Medic meant, but it couldn't have been any better of an option than this first pick.

"It's vhere you are ripped into four pieces," he explained simply to Scout, not bothering with the details of the act.

Realization dawned on Scout's face, before asking, "You're sick, you know that? Why the fuck would you wanna die like that? Are you retarded? That would fucki--"

But he didn't get to speak much more as soap was suddenly thrust into his open mouth by the Soldier; the man had crept up behind Scout without the other realizing it until it was too late and he had an awful taste in his mouth. "Don't say 'fuck,' maggot!" He held the soap in firmly, pushing it further into Scout's mouth despite the other's attempts to get the soap out, as if he was trying to get Scout to swallow the whole bar in one go. He was going to discipline Scout and make him into a fine soldier, even if it killed him! And Scout was just beating the man over the head with his bat as best as he could in such a situation, but it didn't seem to be having much of an effect on Soldier.

"Doktor," Heavy whispered in Medic's ear with a concerned look on his face. He was ignoring the scene that was going on in front of them, the sight wasn't that unusual for the team. "Why do you want to die so horribly?"

Smiling, Medic kissed Heavy's cheek, replying quietly, "It's vhat's inside of someone zhat is beautiful," he poked Heavy's chest, "I vant people to see vhat is inside of me vhen I die."

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Fin

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Medic is one twisted motherfucker, he's just as messed up as the rest of the classes. The idea of this came to me while I was trying to sleep... of course. I thought this up based on something I said my other TF2 story (in the chapter that I had been working on right before going to sleep).

As always, reviews are appreciated. (:

There might be a second story related to this scene with pairings I don't see often. Like, Scout/Soldier (trust me, this pairing would be amaaaaaazing). Though there would still be Heavy/Medic in it because they're my favorite pairing. Let me know if you're interested in seeing that...