Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or CSI Miami. Meep.

OK, before you tell me, I know the story is stupid. I know it seems like rapid nonsense. I just wrote this because I was bored, never wrote a CSI fanfic, and wanted to shake things up a bit! This doesn't mean I'll slack off on my other fics though.

Yes, it is a crossover with CSI and CSI: Miami. It bends reality, too.

"GUESS WHAT!" Nick walked into the Las Vegas Crime Lab, where the rest of his group was eating lunch. "I'm going to get kidnapped, or otherwise harrased by some psycho! Again!"

"Great, so we have to save you? Again?" Warrick was eating a sandwich.

Greg was trying to figure out how to peel an orange. "Orange won't peel!" he threw the orange down on the table, frustrated.

"That's great, Nick…makes me want to…philosophize." Grissom looked thoughtfully into his coffee.

"We can't think about kidnapping! We have a case!" Catherine walked into the lunchroom and looked around. "Hey, why is the light off?"

"Dramatic effect," Grissom replied.

"Sweet. Anyway, this case is pretty cool! Read the description!" Catherine handed the file folder to Grissom. He took it and inspected it. "Why are you giving this to me? It's in Miami. That isn't even in the tri-state area. And besides, I hate those Floridian a-holes you had to go see for that one case. And this case isn't cool. This girl was just shot in the head in her bedroom."

"But look at the suspects!"

Grissom sighed, disappointed. "The suspects are her parents, ex-boyfriend, and best friend who she had a fight with. I've seen better suspects in Sara's pants."

"What?"

"Uh, nothing!" Grissom changed the subject. "So how is Lindsay?"

"She's fine. She just pulled a knife on her boyfriend and stole some fifth-grader's mp3 player, but other than when she makes her one phone call to me from the police department, she doesn't talk to me that much."

Greg made a wretching noise and pointed in the air behind the other CSIs, where the characters from CSI Miami had begun to materialize.

"Hi." Horatio Caine said without feeling (duh). "We decided since you've been to Miami already, we're coming to Nebraska."

"This is Nevada." Warrick said.

"You just keep telling me and eventually I'll remember."

Catherine handed him the case file. "But this case is in Miami."

Eric Delko grabbed the file and tossed it over his shoulder. "Now it's on the floor of Las Vegas!"

"But the evidence is in Miami." Nick commented.

"Then find us a new case!" Tim Speedle commented.

Catherine looked at him, puzzled. "Aren't you, like…dead?"

He checked his pulse. "Uh, no."

"You were before!"

"Oh, right…well, I came back to life, I guess. The bullet actually came out of my body, and the blood went back in. I needed a new shirt, though."

"Dead people!" Greg jumped out of his chair and ran into the wall. He turned around and sat back down, unaffected.

"That was the general reaction of the funeral party 3 graves over. I actually rose from my grave before the bullet un-shot from me."

"Whatever! Can we just do a case? I want to say science stuff!" Nick said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

Ryan Wolfe stepped away from the Miami CSIs and stuck his hand out to greet Nick. "Hi, my name is-"

"You look like me!" Greg interrupted.

Grissom took out a magnifying glass. "He does look like Greg,"

Catherine shone a light in his face. "Hmm…"

Warrick took out a little swab. "I'm going to need some of that DNA, Greg Two."

"But my name is-" before Ryan could continue, Delko yanked a leash he had and Ryan went flying back. "Back, boy!"

Ryan wriggled, trying to get out of the leash. "But I want to go say hi!"

Horatio tugged on the leash as well. "Heel!" Ryan sat like a dog in response.

Speedle kicked him. "Yeah, be quiet Replacement Me. No one likes you. But they like me!"

"No one likes you either, Speed." Female CSI Calleigh Duquesne commented. Speedle went off to be sad, alone, and previously dead. "Just go to an internet poll. Only people that like liked your actor's crappy movies liked you better."

Delko looked at Calleigh. "I like Speed."

"That's because you're his partner."

"Yeah, yeah, world sucks for Speedle and people watch CSI: Miami only out of pity, big DEAL! I want to do a case!" Nick jumped up and down.

Speedle stepped forward to face Nick. "I want attention!" He grabbed Warrick's sandwich and tossed it at Calleigh's face.

Warrick looked mournful at the scraps of bread and lunchmeat on the ground and on Calleigh's nose. "…won that sandwich in a bet…" He put his head down on the table. "…sandwich…"

Horatio looked at Grissom. "We need something to calm Speedle down. Do you have any mace handy?"

"Hey, Speed, look! There's honey in the pantry!" Delko pointed to the closet.

"HONEY!" he imitated Greg's move and ran into the closed closet. But he didn't get up.

"I hate these weirdos. I'm going to go look at my bugs and think of snappy philosophies." Grissom said, walking out the door.

Nick shivered and ran behind Warrick. "I hate bugs!" he hissed. "Especially fire ants!"

Sara walked in after Grissom left. "Damn, Grissom's bugs are so hot. Just like him. So do we have a new case?" She asked Catherine.

"Maybe when that portal in the back room spits one out again."

"It just did, my science homies." Al The Coroner walked (or rather limped) into the lunchroom. "Hey, who are those interesting people that smell like sunshine dust?"

"Just CSIs from Florida. So there's a case?" Sara looked over at him.

"Yeah, something weird."

"Not as weird as those people in animal costumes, the midget convention, or Liquid Man. What do you have for us?"

"I have for you: Faceless-Man Who Plays Guitar in a Band Who Was Found In A Toilet. How's that for a title?"

"Faceless like how?" Nick queried.

"Store-window mannequin faceless."

"That's my favorite kind!" Greg shouted happily, spraying confetti from his turban.

In this story Greg is a bit retarded, Sara and Grissom have slight romantic implications all the way through, and since Speedle was brought back to life, he has no soul! Mwahaha. Please review. And don't tell me how stupid it is, I know.