Thank you Liam. Part one.
"And you think that Finn deserves someone better?" Liam asked, eyes narrowed slightly but a look of understanding on his face.
Rae and Liam were sitting in Liam's bedroom, talking about Rae and Finn's failed relationship. After finding Rae hiding from Finn and the rest of the gang, Liam offered her a shoulder to cry on, knowing that she needed a friend to talk to.
It had been two weeks since their break-up and Rae was still avoiding everybody. She felt guilty for it, but she didn't want to face the gang, thinking that they'd be disappointed by her actions, and she didn't want to see Finn with his sad puppy eyes.
She hated that she let the voices in her head take over. She hated the way they kept screaming at her that she wasn't good enough, that everyone was happier without her. No matter how hard she tried to drown out the voices, they got louder, stronger. So with a ache in her heart and a victory in her head, she accepted what the voices said.
She spends most of her time with either Danny or Liam, or both. Well, she does whenever she isn't locked in her room, crying into her Care Bear quilt. It's not bad though, hanging out with them. They all understand each other and they act like family so, she can't really complain.
Well, she can. She doesn't feel complete. Without the gang she feel like she's a shadow of herself. It's not that she relies on them too much, but it's that they have a piece of her. A piece that feels important. Important enough for her to feel the loss of that piece.
Liam is helping her sort things out, as her thoughts and the voices keep confusing her. She should be talking to Kester about this, but sometimes, she feels like he doesn't really care. Like the only reason he's listening and giving her advise is because of his job. And in a way, it is. She knows that he cares, she does, but sometimes, it just doesn't feel that way. It's different with Liam though. She knows that he doesn't have to listen to her. He doesn't have to give her advise. He can always tell her to fuck off whenever she gets on his nerves. But he doesn't. Because they're friends. Because he get it. He understands what she means, even if she can't fully explain herself, he knows, because he's been there.
She wishes she was more like Liam. She wishes that she didn't give a flying fuck to what other people thought about her. But, unfortunately, she does. She cares about what they say. She cares about what they say to those shes with.
She cares too much.
Then she thinks too much.
Then the voices come.
And they win.
Because nobody's fighting in her corner.
Because she's alone.
"Finn deserves someone who can look at herself while she's naked and not be disgusted in what she sees. He deserves someone who is beautiful, confident, and open. Someone who he's not embarrassed about. Someone who can make him happy, make him laugh, and keep him smiling. Not someone who is just a loud, mad, fat blob, who tried to kill herself." Rae replied, scowling sadly at nothing in particular.
She wasn't what Finn needed. She couldn't make him happy they way he could her. I would end up drowning him in either my fat or my madness. She thought to herself bitterly.
"But how do you know?" Liam questioned.
"What?"
"I said, how do you know? How do you know that's what Finn feels? How you know if you are or are not, all of what you just said he deserves, to Finn." He raised his eyebrows, silently daring her to answer him.
His eyebrows don't even compare to Finn's. Rae mused. I could stroke Finn's eyebrows all day and not get bored.
"Oi, big bird."
"Huh?" She asked, shaking herself out of her thoughts. Liam just stared at her with a look that said 'I'm not repeating myself', until she remembered. "Oh, right. Uh, well. I don't know if he thinks that exactly, but-"
"But nothing. You won't know unless you talk to him."
"But-"
"No buts." His firm tone caused Rae to huff out in frustration and she was about to give him a right ear full, but he simply ignored her and carried on speaking. "Listen, you need to talk to Finn about what you're feeling. The poor lad probably doesn't even understand. We both know that you're in love with him, but as I don't know the kid I can't tell you that he loves ya too, but I have seen the way he looked at ya when you two were still together, and he's definitely feeling more that just a fancy towards you. I'm not saying that you two should get back together right away, but you need to start again. He got to know Rae, 'the girl who was hiding a part of herself'. He needs to get to know Rae 'the mad girl but still Rae' Rae. A clean slate would be good right now, and not just with Finn, with the rest of ya little mates as well."
The room was silent for awhile, Rae was deep in thought, obviously thinking over everything Liam just said, and Liam was watching Rae carefully, hoping that she would take his advise.
The silence was broken when Rae started nodding her head determinedly. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I need to do it. Just stuck it up and do it. I need to put the man back in woman and just do it."
Standing up from Liam's bed, still nodding her head, she headed out of the door, not wanting to wait another moment, just in case she loses her confidence.
Nodding his head along with her, Liam watched proudly as Rae made her way out of his door, she turned back to him though, giving him a grateful smile and a meaningful thank you, then continued on her way.
"Go get him, big bird." He smiled as he called out to her.
As Rae started down the street, the one thing you can tell from her body movements, was that she was on a mission.
One she very much planned on ending in success.