It clearly isn't going to happen.
You have been trying to sleep for hours and it's already three in the morning. If Dad knew you were awake at this hour, he'd probably faint. Maybe face planting into a cake on the way down. Shit, don't laugh, you'll wake Dave up. Unlike you, he had no issues and was asleep within seconds of his face touching the pillow. You didn't even get a goodnight kiss, which had upset you quite a bit.
Perhaps that's why you can't sleep, it must be Dave's fault.
In your frustration you 'accidentally' kick Dave's leg with your foot and his eyes open, staring at you.
"Dude, what the fuck?"
"O-Oh, uh, sorry Dave…"
"It's three in the morning. Go to sleep" he mumbles, pulling you close into a hug.
"I can't sleep…"
Although part of you wants to blame him, it's bad enough that you just kicked your boyfriend awake in the middle of the night. Blaming him for your problems would be a step too far.
Maybe…
No, definitely too far.
"Ugh man, come on. Just close your eyes. Think about boring math problems"
"Math isn't that boring"
"Yeah, it is. But whatever. Count sheep. Count my fucking pubes for all I care, just don't kick me again"
"I'm sorry! I was kinda mad because I decided it was your fault"
He frowns and raises an eyebrow.
"How the hell is it my fault?"
"Well you didn't kiss me goodnight! You just fell asleep straight away!"
To be fair you're making it sound like he had a choice, but you both know after today he was exhausted. Despite knowing Dave for years, why he and his brother decided they needed to have aggressive fights every day - fights which leave Dave bruised, bleeding, sometimes with broken bones, and Bro with no marks at all - you had no clue. When you had told Dad about it, he'd instantly misinterpreted it and thought that Dave was being abused.
Which you can kind of understand because sometimes you find yourself wondering if it is some sort of abuse. Especially when Dave tells you not to come over because his bruises are particularly bad. Odds are he's only stopping you seeing him like that because you always make a fuss. Of course you do, it's hard to see your boyfriend in such a state.
"John? Dude, snap out of it"
"Oh, sorry"
"Anyway, I said if a kiss is all you want then you just gotta ask nicely"
Hmph, you never usually have to ask. It should be a law that every night you must receive a kiss before either of you fall asleep. Stupid Dave.
"But Daaaaaaaaave"
"No buts"
"I thought you liked my butt?"
"Alright, aside from your butt, no more buts. Fuck sake…"
He's clearly getting pissed at you. A sleepy Dave is a very irritable Dave. Which is something you know from personal experience. So you decide to crawl into his lap and nuzzle against his neck.
As planned, the irritation melts from his face.
"Adorable"
You grin up at him as he strokes your hair, wrapping the blanket around both of you. Gosh, you love Dave. Which is why you know how to calm him down and get back on his good side.
"I love youuuu"
"Yeah yeah, I love you too. Dork"
Damn right you're a dork. Not just any dork, you're his dork.
Suddenly his lips were pressed against yours. Open mouth smooches were banned at night because Dave easily got a boner from them and it was a pain in the ass to deal with it. Oh shit, you made an accidental pun. Don't laugh, don't ruin the kiss. You're smiling but you can totally play that off as just being happy to receive the kiss. Damn right, you've got this covered.
He pulls away and suddenly you find yourself getting tired.
Whoa, was that really the issue? You just lacked a goodnight kiss?
Your eyes slide shut and you manage to quickly peck Dave's cheek before you fall asleep against him, leaving him grumbling to himself about how he should've just done that in the first place.