Still
Disclaimer-
I hate these things. No one actually believes I could own FF8, do
they? Reba sings Still.
Ten
years after the sorceress war, a devastated world was still
struggling to recover. After the defeat of Ultimecia, many of the
original SeeD members had quit Garden for the soul reason of
preserving their sanity. Quistis Trepe was one of them.
One
hot Friday night, she briskly walked out of her office and locked the
door carefully behind her. Many untouched files and unread memos were
being left behind, but she could deal with them on Monday. Her job: a
parole officer in Deling. An unusual job for one with her talents and
abilities, but she had reason to stay. A hope to run into
him.
Wishing she was wearing something other then her
'formals', the former instructor made her way down the crowded city
street. People bumped into her from all sides and she found herself
being pushed into the open door way of a crappy grocery store. She
had never been here before, always refraining from entering vibrantly
lit happy places.
The mascot, a giant hotdog, smiled brightly
at her and waved enthusiastically. Unconsciously, she waved back and
found herself drifting into the memories of the old days. Zell would
have worshiped the costume- clad man. And then Irvine would have
relentlessly mocked him for the rest of the outing.
Quistis
shook her head, trying to shake the memories. The past belonged in
the past. Nothing there could help her now.
Rushing past the
hotdog, she decided that she might as well pick something up for a
late dinner. Quistis headed for the frozen section of the store to
check out the 'Lean Cuisine' selection. She might be talented, but
her ability in the kitchen was limited to pressing the cook button on
the microwave.
Pulling her thin blue jacket tightly around her
shivering body, the hungry woman stared dismally at her choices. She
pulled out the least offending meals and weighed them in her mind. A
pea casserole or a chicken/rice bowl.
Just as she was about to
give up and go home to order pizza, she felt a warm breath on the
back of her neck.
"I'd pick the chicken. You never know
what they put in that casserole."
Startled, she spun
around and found herself staring into an all too familiar pair of
green eyes. Gasping, she dropped both of the frozen meals in
question. "Seifer!!??"
Thousands of people live
in this town and I had to run into him/When I saw him there on that
busy street/Those feelings came back again/There was no where to run,
no where to hide/He walked up to looked in my eyes
He placed the dinners in the freezer and closed the glass doors. "So, instructor. What have you been doing these past few years? Still working for Leonhart? I heard he's running for president of Esthar, what with Laguna retiring and all." He rolled his eyes. "I guess it pays to have a father who's connected. You going take up a desk job and follow him around some more?"
Becoming irritated with the man, Quistis grabbed her meals out of the freezer and glared at Seifer. "And to think I was happy to see you. I quit SeeD ten years ago."
Quistis looked down at the floor. She couldn't help but notice how well Seifer had aged. Yet, he still acted like the same guy.
Seifer's eye's softened slightly. "Really? I missed you too, Quisty. It's been so long, I didn't know. . ." He began tracing interesting patterns on the fogged glass. "Do they still talk about me?"
Deciding to get the pea casserole, for the sole reason of pissing Seifer off, Quistis opened the freezer and grabbed the dinner, interrupting Seifer's 'art'. "Who? Come on. I have to get home and change. You want to walk with me?"
Seifer nodded and followed Quistis to the check-out counter. "Squall, Rinoa, and the rest. I've been gone for so long. And after what I did. . . Well, you know."
Quistis shrugged her shoulders. "Don't know. Squall's more, I don't know, quiet then he was before Ultimecia. Rinoa's tactics backfired, I guess. Selphie and Zell ran off somewhere, not together of course. Irvine's a bartender down town and Rinoa's still living off her dad. I haven't talked to any of them since I left about nine years ago."
Picking a candy bar off of a shelf, Seifer smirked. "Figures Rinoa would still be living with 'Daddy'."
Quistis smiled and relaxed a little. "Yeah. So, what have you been doing with yourself?"
Seifer rolled his eyes. "Just going here and there, you don't want to hear it all."
"Sure I do."
And still, the world stood still/I couldn't move and all I could feel/Was this aching in my heart saying/That I loved him still
Seifer looked at her, surprised. "Well, I hid from the general public for about six years, trying to stay out of trouble, but eventually I figured everyone would forget about me. I was mostly right"
He unwrapped the candy bar and took a big bite. Quistis glared at him. "You're supposed to buy it first."
He shrugged and grabbed another one, placing it on the moving belt with Quistis' pea casserole. "Old habits are hard to break. You live around here?"
Shaking her head, Quistis added several chocolate bars of her own to the growing collection. "I live on the rim of town, far away from all the hustle and bustle. I take the bus to work every morning. Today was just one of those days I decided to walk home."
Still inspecting the candy rack, Seifer took down a magazine and began flipping through the pages. "And what does our dear instructor do? Did you find another job teaching little kids to be killers?"
Quistis ignored his question and pretended to be interested in the cover of Seifer's magazine. "Oh, look. A love quiz! You wanna take it?"
Seifer rolled his eyes. "Quistis, dear, we are in a check out line. We couldn't possibly have enough time to do it."
At that moment, the woman in front of the two started arguing with the cahier over the price of some canned yams.
Raising an eyebrow, Quistis took the magazine from Seifer and flipped to the quiz.
"Ok, question number one."
Before she could ask Seifer the first question, she felt his hand on her arm. "Quistis, I've really missed you."
He said how've you been it's great to see you again/You're really a sight for sore eyes/I said I can't complain I'm doing fine/We talked as the people rushed by/We laughed about old times and all we went through/That's when he hugged me and said I've missed you
Surprised at the emotion she saw in his eyes, Quistis barley recognized the warm embrace he was giving her. Pulling out of the hug, Quistis looked up into Seifer's eyes. "Wow."
Grinning at the shocked ex-instructor, Seifer took the magazine form her. "Ha! Got it away from you." With a quick motion of his hands, Seifer placed the offending quiz on the top rack, just out of Quistis' reach.
She glared at him, unable to hide the hurt she felt. Once again, he had drawn her into believing that he actually cared. It was too hard to tell when he was kidding and when he wasn't. She had waited ten years to see him again and didn't want it to be wasted.
"Seifer, I. . ." She began, but was interrupted as the woman finally paid for her yams and moved on to hassle the bagger for not properly bagging the precious item.
The cashier was a teenager who was snapping a wad of pink bubble gum nosily as she glared at the customers. While waiting for Quistis to count out the right amount of change, the cashier flirted shamelessly with Seifer who did his best to hold back his laughter.
Thanking both the bagger and the flirtatious teenager, Quistis grabbed Seifer's arm with one hand and her candy and casserole in the other and walked as quickly as possible to the street.
When they were out of the two employee's earshot, they both found themselves laughing loudly, drawing stares from people passing them on the street.
When she was finally able to stand straight again, Quistis was shocked with the beautiful sight of a truly happy smile on Seifer Almasy's face.
As if in a dream, Quistis slowly reached her hand out to touch him.
And still the world stood still/I couldn't move and all I could feel/Was this aching in my heart saying I loved him still
Seifer stopped laughing and with a smile on his face turned to meet Quistis' eye. Embarrassed, she quickly retracted her hand, as if burned by a hot coal.
"You wanted to say something in there?" He pointed over his shoulder with one hand, taking the bag holding the candy in his other.
Quistis shook her head and grabbed the bag back. "I paid for this. If you want something to eat, let's go to the Café across the street. My treat."
Surrendering the grocery bag, Seifer flashed her yet another smile. "Sounds good. I'm supposed to wait for someone over there anyway."
The café was one owned by an elderly woman who still priced everything as if it were still back in her days.
Quistis picked a small table in the corner of the café next to a large plant. Seifer followed and grinned at her when he pulled her chair out for her. The waitress walked up and asked for their order. Quistis felt her heart beat faster as she glanced at her former student.
Seifer pointed at a large picture on the front of the menu. "I'll take that. It looks better then that casserole crap you got, huh Quisty?"
Quistis laughed nervously and nodded her head. "Yeah. That looks good. I think I'll have one too."
The waitress smiled brightly and shut the notepad. "Merci. I'll be back shortly with your meals."
Seifer leaned back in his chair and balanced it dangerously in two legs. "Never thought you'd be one for calamari, instructor."
Quistis turned a slight green color. She had been so caught up in the moment, she hadn't even thought about what she had ordered. "Cal. . . calamari?"
Seifer snickered, then suddenly brought all four legs of his chair down to the ground. He stared at a point directly over her shoulder as a beautiful woman with vibrant red hair and a short green sun dress walked into the café holding a small child's hand.
"That's her."
Quistis looked up in surprise. "Who? You know her?"
The woman spotted Seifer and walked over to their table briskly. Seifer stood and kissed the woman lightly in the cheek. Stunned, Quistis found herself standing as well and she offered her hand to the woman. "Hello. I'm Quistis Trepe."
The woman gave Quistis a slight smile. Seifer offered his chair to the red- haired beauty and picked the little boy up. "Quistis, this is my wife, Odessa. And this little squirt," he tickled the boy's stomach, "Is my son, Alex."
Odessa refused to sit down and took Alex back from his father. "Its nice meeting you, Trisstis, but we have really ought to be going. Seifer, what were you thinking? The show opens in an hour."
Seifer smiled apologetically at Quistis. "Odessa's an artist. She just got some of her work featured in a new gallery that opens tonight. You could come if you want."
Shaking her head, Quistis sank into her chair. "No. I have. . . something to do. My boyfriend is coming over later."
Seifer smiled. "Ok then. We'll have to do dinner again sometime."
He and his family walked out the door, leaving a devastated Quistis behind.
That's when she walked up to him/He said this is my wife/I gave my best smile/But I was dieing inside/He said we've got to go now/Its getting late/It was so good to see you and/They walked away
Quistis sat, stunned by the recent turn of events. The bubbly waitress bounced up and sat down two plates of steaming squid in front of her. Agitated, Quistis waved the girl off. Somehow, the prospect of eating a plate of squid didn't appeal to her anymore.
What a fool she had been, thinking she had a chance with Seifer. She had spent her whole life waiting for a dream. It had seemed real, but no one can ever be sure. Why had she thought she could handle him? Why had she thought hat after ten years he would want her? Why had he even approached her in the store? Why did he think she forgave him?
Angrily, Quistis stabbed a fork into the squid. Juice squirted out of the 'wound' and leaked down the side of the plate. Delicately, she wiped her fingers on her cloth napkin and stood. On the white café table, she left a hundred gil, more then enough to pay for the meal, and a small silver cross and chain.
The necklace had been a fifth birthday gift from Seifer when they were at the orphanage. She had held it dear even when she wasn't sure where it came from. She thought it had a special meaning. But now that she remembered, it was regarded as a little piece of her past that was unwelcome. It had been a lifeline, a shred of hope, she had clung to. But now, she would make her own luck.
Quistis stepped into the cool air of Deling and smiled as night fell on the city. The hot dog man was sitting on a bench across the store he was representing, smoking a cigarette. A group of kids were playing street ball, dodging cars and buses as a drug dealer watched them. Life was never as one thought. You just had to look past what you wanted to see the truth.
She had spent the last ten years living on a memory. Meeting Seifer's wife had hurt,. it had scarred her deeply, but it left her free to see the truth.
The next day she would quit her job and do something she truly enjoyed, maybe even visit some old friends. Her frozen dinner could wait. She had an art gallery to visit.
And still, my world stood still/I couldn't move and all I could feel/Was this aching in my heart/Saying I loved him still