Well, hello to you! Or should I say "Och aye the noo"? I don't really know if I should say it, because, to be honest, I have no idea what it actually means! I have been off travelling the world; well, the British Isles; well, just a little town in Scotland really, but I still consider that to be quite an achievement. I finally got myself off to Wick after the whole double-proposal debacle. I turned Mike down. Well, as Captain von Trapp says in the Sound of Music, you can't marry someone when you're in love with someone else, now can you? Even if that someone else is a hopeless wimp who can't man-up and just say how he feels.
Anyway, I had an evening of very awkward conversations. First I told Mike I was breaking up with him. He was shocked and upset and as lovely as ever and I so nearly gave in and said yes, but he's gone back to work in Africa and I don't think I'll be seeing him again. Then I told Gary I couldn't marry him, and he was relieved even though he pretended he wasn't. Then, worst of all, I had to deal with Mum. She was, shall we say, unimpressed by the whole thing. She stormed off then went on her second honeymoon (I know, it doesn't bear thinking about) without so much as a goodbye.
So Stevie took me to the station the next morning and got me on the right train and I spent three weeks in Wick, moping-slash-recuperating before coming back to face the music. In quick summary, good things about Scotland – young, rugged men in kilts, deep-fried food, and shortbread; bad things about Scotland – old, wrinkly men in kilts, and haggis. Urgh. Anyway, Mum's speaking to me again, but I missed out on seeing her second-honeymoon photos. I know, terrible shame. Unfortunately, she took it upon herself to show them to Stevie, and Tilly, and Gary. I'm not sure whether it's worse seeing a picture of your parents having a naked mud-bath spa-treatment, or having the picture described by two of your closest friends and your, well your… Oh, I don't even know what Gary is anymore! Things were a bit weird when I first came back, but then I thought they'd settled down again, and now I just don't know. He seems to be avoiding me. We never properly discussed 'us'. The only conclusion I managed to come to in Scotland was that I tried moving on from him and it really didn't work. I have accepted the fact that I love Gary Preston, and will probably always love him, and until he tells me he feels the same there's really not much I can do about it.
Anyway, I'll have to face him soon, because it's my birthday next week, and Stevie, Tilly and I are going to the restaurant for a meal. I convinced Stevie I just wanted a quiet day with no fuss. And I mean, everyone knows that that's code for "It's my birthday, you'd better make at least a bit of a fuss" don't they?
"Stevie! Stevie! Stevie!" Miranda galloped down the stairs and into the shop where Stevie was working behind the counter.
"Oh, good morn…afternoon. You know, I did think you might start making more of an effort to show up on time since I had to cope on my own while you were away."
"Yes, good, you're the best friend in the world, I'm terrible for leaving you on your own, I know, I know, now about my birthday…"
"Actually," Stevie interrupted, "it was less work without you here than it is now you're back."
"Well, rude! But possibly true. Anyhow, my birthday."
"Look, stop fretting, my little… well, big friend. It's all under control."
"Yes, and I know I said I didn't want any fuss…"
"And that's what you're going to get. A nice stress-free birthday. A quiet meal with some friends."
"So you're not, you know, organising a surprise party?"
"Of course not."
The shop door sprang open and Gary hurried in.
"Oh, hi guys! Erm, I just wanted a quick word with Stevie." Gary shuffled uncomfortably and avoided eye-contact with Miranda.
Miranda sighed. "Right. I'll be in the office then, doing some work." She glanced back pointedly at Stevie then slunk off to hide as Stevie and Gary muttered together by the counter. She peeked out again a moment later, just in time to see Gary squeeze Stevie's hand before hurrying back out of the shop.
"What was that?!"
"What was what?" Stevie asked, a look of pure innocence on her face.
"That," Miranda flapped her arms in a fluster, "That… handholdy, whispery-in-the-corner thing!"
"It was nothing. Stop stressing. It was more a hand-shake than a hand-hold. Gary and I are definitely just friends."
"Oh, but Stevie, things have been really weird between me and Gary, and there was the lingering kiss incident, and you would tell me, wouldn't you? If something did happen with you and Gary?"
"Miranda, nothing is going to happen with me and Gary, I promise. He's just feeling a little bit lonely at the moment. Clive's gone, and like you said, you two aren't really talking properly, and after the life-coaching phase we all know how good Tilly is at giving advice, and he just wanted some reassurance about something. I know he misses you."
"Well, he's never said."
"No, and you've not told him how much you're missing him either, and until one of you plucks up the courage to tell the other, this will never get sorted out. Which is why we're going to the restaurant for your birthday – so that you'll both have lots of opportunities to finally get things back to normal."
"But…"
"No arguing. It's all organised. Now go unpack some boxes or something."
Miranda was on her own behind the counter of the shop, rearranging her birthday cards for the sixth time so they would be shown off to maximum effect.
"Well hello, and what was that? Happy Birthday to me, did you say? Well thank you very much! True to her word, Stevie is giving me a fuss-free day. I've had to work! I ask you! If I ruled the world, it would be illegal to go to work on your birthday. The only benefit to this situation which I have so far discovered is that if one chooses to arrange one's birthday cards around one like so," she gestured to the little display she'd set up, "then one's customers feel obliged to wish… one?... I think I've said it 'one' too much now… a happy birthday."
Stevie appeared from the office bearing a tray with two mugs and a plate of biscuits on a tray.
"Here you are. Special cup of birthday tea for you."
"Birthday tea? How's it special?"
"I made it for you?"
"Oh. Oh, Stevie, can't we close up early and go do something fun?" Miranda whined.
"No! At your age you should be taking a more responsible attitude to your business."
"At my age?! I'm only three months older than you! You talk as though I'm ninety!"
"Well anyway, we're not closing early. The meal's booked for eight so we've plenty of time to get ready. I've got all my things with me, and you can open your present before we go."
"Oh, you see, now I'm even more impatient to finish work. Please Stevie? Please, please, please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?"
It was half-past four. Miranda and Stevie were in Miranda's flat. The begging had finally worn Stevie down and she was now holding Miranda's present behind her back nervously.
"Now look. I know I usually get you something fun and jokey, but there is a reason for this. I just hope it's okay. Maybe I should have stuck with tradition?" Stevie was starting to stress and Miranda just couldn't take the suspense any more.
"Oh, just give me the present!"
She tore off the wrapping paper in one quick movement to reveal a dark blue dress. She looked puzzled.
"It's a dress." Stevie explained.
"Well, I can see that."
"It's for you to wear tonight. I just thought it would be nice if you had something, you know, nice, to wear when we go to Gary's. But it's probably the wrong colour or…"
"No, it's lovely. It's just, will it fit?"
"Well, I hope you don't mind, it's just I know how much you hate shopping, and actually, after trying to find something for you, I now understand why you hate it so much, but I sort of broke into your flat while you were away and went through your wardrobe and borrowed some of your clothes and took them with me and a very nice shop assistant helped me. Go try it on."
Miranda, quite excited now, and really rather delighted with her present, rushed off to the bathroom.
"Ola peeps!" Tilly came crashing through the door to Miranda's flat. "Hi Stevie! Where's Miranda?"
"Just putting the finishing touches to the outfit."
"And," she lowered her voice, "how's it all going?"
"Great. She doesn't suspect a thing."
Miranda sheepishly emerged from the bathroom.
"Hi Tilly."
"Oh my golly goodness! Kong! You look, actually elegant!"
Miranda blushed as Tilly inspects her outfit. "Really?"
"Queen Kong, I'm actually proud of you! Anyway, birthday kissingtons!" She kissed Miranda on both cheeks, linked arms with her and marched her to the door. "Come on Stevie, I think it's time we went and showed Gary what he's been missing!"
The door to the restaurant opened on to a scene of balloons, streamers, tables pushed back, people dancing. Tilly and Stevie gently pushed Miranda forward with a happy "Ta da!"
"Guys? What's going on?"
"It's your birthday party," replied Stevie, as though it was obvious.
"But I thought you said you weren't organising a surprise party?"
"I didn't. Gary did. And it's not a surprise party. At least, no-one else knows it is, so they're not going to jump out and yell surprise."
Miranda was a little flustered. "Ok, ok, I can cope with this. No, this is good. So Gary organised all this?"
"Well, we helped a bit."
"I invited all the girls from boarding school. All the married-with-kids lot will be leaving at about 10.30, and the rest of us are going on to a club," Tilly explained.
"And Gary got in touch with people from Uni, and I did everyone else," added Stevie.
"Ok, no, that's fine. Right, good. And is there anything else I need to know before I brave the crowds?"
"Not really. Oh, yes! It's a retro party! It is officially 1989 in this room. No music from the 90's or beyond. Party food is over there – little sausages on sticks, cheese and pineapple on sticks, jelly and ice-cream… not on sticks. This way we can be as uncool and unsophisticated as we like, and just blame it on the decade!"
"Oh – high five my friend! This is amazing! Wait. One thing. What about…"
"Coo-ee! Miranda darling!"
"…Mum," Miranda sighed as her mother swept in. "Just what we need – her regaling everyone with stories about giving birth to me! Hello, Mum."
"Darling, I can't stop. Your father's outside with the engine running. We won tickets to a box at the ballet in the tennis club raffle and they're, what I call, non-exchangeable. I simply cannot miss out on a night at the ballet. All those muscly men in tights! Your father's insisting on taking the paper and doing the crossword. Anyway, we'll celebrate your birthday some other day. Must be off. Have a lovely evening."
"I'm sorry? Did that just happen? Do I really have a mother-free birthday?"
Tilly was bouncing up and down looking exceedingly pleased with herself. "Well, I might have convinced Mummy to fix the raffle so that Pen-Pen won."
"Tilly, if I've never said it before – I love you!"
"No problemo. Now, I'm off to catch up with the girls. I'll see you later Kong."
"Erm, are those your university friends over there?" Stevie pointed out a group of handsome young men on the far side of the restaurant.
"Yes, it looks like it."
"Right. I might just have to leave you to mingle for a while. Look, Gary's coming over," and Stevie trotted off leaving Miranda to face Gary.
Miranda was just beginning to panic again when Gary beamed at her and pulled her into a big hug.
"Hey, you! Happy birthday! I'm sorry I've been so weird lately, I was just scared I was going to let the cat out of the bag." Miranda grimaced at the memory of the airport. "Is this all ok? I wanted to surprise you, but now I'm wondering if it's all a bit much?"
"No, Gary it's amazing! Thank you. Erm, do I actually know all these people?"
"Well, most of them. There are a couple of people you might not have met before."
"You invited people to my birthday party who I've never met?"
"Well, yes, but it's for a good cause."
"So, who's that guy over there?"
"Oh. Well, you know Chris and Alison? That's Chris' brother."
"And the woman talking to him?"
"That would be Alison's best friend. And the new waitress over there would be Chris and Alison's emergency babysitter. I had to offer her a regular weekend job to get her to come, but you know…" he shrugged.
"So Chris and Alison…?"
"…were unfortunately unable to find a babysitter this evening, and therefore are sadly unable to attend."
"You've actually thought of everything haven't you?" Miranda exclaimed in delight, flinging her arms around him again for a quick hug.
"Well, hopefully. Look, I'm sorry but I've got to get back to the kitchen for a bit, but I want a dance with the birthday girl later on. Now go and enjoy your party." He turned her towards Fanny who was descending with arms open wide and a greeting of "Queen Kong!"
It was much later in the evening, and Tilly and Stevie were ushering the last of a group of boarding school friends out of the door.
"Look, Miranda, are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Stevie asked, a little hopelessly as they'd already had this conversation twice.
"I'm sure. Look, I've had an amazing evening, but I just feel it's better not to tempt fate. And nightclubs and I have always been a very bad combination. And I want to get things sorted out with Gary. He's been so amazing tonight, well, you all have. Besides, at my age I really should be tucked up in bed with a mug of cocoa by now."
"Well, if you're sure. Hope it goes ok with Gary."
"It'll be fine. Have fun."
Tilly and Stevie disappeared at a run to catch up with the other girls and Miranda started clearing glasses from tables.
"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" Gary strode out of the kitchen and took the glasses from Miranda's arms. "The birthday girl shouldn't be clearing up after her own party."
"The party's over though. I'm not really the birthday girl anymore. And you've done so much tonight already. I can't just sit and watch you work."
"Well you could. But it's Sunday tomorrow. The restaurant isn't open so I can finish off in the morning. Besides, you haven't opened your present yet." Gary leaned over the bar, pulled out a small rectangular box neatly wrapped in gold paper and handed it to Miranda.
Miranda took it hesitantly. "Gary, you shouldn't have. The party was more than enough."
"Oh, go on, open it. You know you want to." Gary encouraged her.
Miranda carefully pulled off the paper and opened the box. Her eyes widened in amazement. Inside was a silver chain with a pendant made up of two spirals which eventually met at their points.
"Gary, I can't accept this, it's too much. You've just bought the restaurant, and we haven't sorted things out properly, and – it's just too much." She put the box down on the bar and turned to flee from the restaurant.
"No, Miranda, wait please." Gary grabbed her arm. "Please, I want you to have it."
"But…"
"No buts. Listen. I've spent the last three weeks trying to make this the perfect evening for you, and that includes finding the perfect present. Now all that's left is my dance with the birthday girl, now that I've got you all to myself."
"Argh!" Miranda cried in frustration. "Gary, that's exactly the problem. Why does it have to be when you've got me to yourself? Why do you run away and hide whenever anyone else is around? Are you ashamed to be seen with me?" She stormed away from him into the middle of the restaurant and started pacing angrily.
"No, Miranda I…"
"Ever since I came back you've been avoiding me. You've barely spoken to me until tonight, and then you ran away to the kitchen anytime I came near!"
"Ok, fine," Gary shouted. "You want the truth? Yes, I was scared to be around you tonight, but it's not how you think. I'm so scared to tell you how I feel, because last time I tried that, it somehow ended up with you running away to Scotland. If it was some other girl, it'd be easy to say how I feel, because if I messed it up with her, it wouldn't matter. But you're my best friend, and I can't keep doing this, because it's messing with my head. I'm normally a fairly relaxed, easy-going sort of a guy Miranda, but since you got together with Mike, I've been so jealous, it's ridiculous! The logical part of me knows that he was a really nice guy who totally deserved you, and the other part of me wanted to just punch him in the face! And just when I thought I knew how you felt about me, he came back and proposed and you went off and it was all weird again. So while you were away I talked to Stevie, and I talked to Tilly, and I told them how much I loved you…"
Miranda glanced up in astonishment but wasn't able to break the flow of Gary's speech. "…and we planned this so that you'd have this one amazing night where you could be yourself and relax and have fun, and at the end of the evening I'd be able to get you on your own and tell you how I feel. But my stupid jealousy got in the way again and I've spent all night hiding in the kitchen because every time any man has come anywhere near you all night, I've just wanted to… to… rip his arms off or something! And I had to stay out of your way because I just feel like, if I touch you, I'll never let go. And once I have you in my arms, I won't be able to stop myself from kissing you. And once I start kissing you, I have no intention of stopping for a very long time, and that could well lead on to other things and I'd scare you away again and that would just break my heart. So the ball's in your court now Miranda. It's up to you. I made a special CD for us to dance to. It's all set up; the remote's on the bar. If you really want this, you just have to press play. If you don't…" He shrugged, physically and emotionally exhausted, once again avoiding eye-contact.
Miranda took a few calming breaths, but her mind was still whirling from Gary's impassioned speech. All of her usual panic bubbled up again. She walked slowly across to the bar, picked up the remote control and the jewellery box which held the necklace and returned to Gary.
Gary looked up as Miranda approached. The expression on her face didn't give anything away, but as she held out the jewellery box to him, he thought she might be trying to hold back tears too. He put his hand out automatically, and took the box as she turned from him. His head dropped and his shoulders slumped.
She stopped a pace away, trying to get control of her breathing.
"Put it on for me?" she whispered.
Tears sprang to Gary's eyes as quickly as hope sprang to his heart. "Are you sure?" he stammered.
Miranda nodded in reply and Gary fumbled to remove the necklace, inwardly cursing himself for choosing such a delicate chain. With trembling hands he unfastened the catch and carefully passed it around her neck. His fingers brushed her skin as he struggled to fasten it again, sending shivers down her spine.
As she pressed the play button on the remote control, Miranda leaned back into Gary, feeling his trembling hands slide slowly down her arms as the first piano chords filled the restaurant. He took the remote from her hand a placed it down on the nearest table, then lightly grasped her hands as Lionel Richie's voice surrounded them.
Girl, tell me only this,
That I have your heart for always,
And you want me by your side,
Whispering the words,
"I'll always love you."
Miranda crossed her arms over her stomach, pulling Gary's hands with hers, and leaned even closer into him. His head dropped down onto her shoulder and he breathed in the scent of her hair, his lips gently touching her neck, his stubble prickling against her delicate skin. They swayed slowly from side to side.
And forever, I will be your lover,
And I know if you really care
I will always be there.
Now, I need to tell you this,
There's no other love like your love,
And I, as long as I live,
I'll give you all the joy
My heart and soul can give.
Miranda gently eased her hands from Gary's hold and turned in his embrace. For the first time in nearly a month they held each other's gaze. Miranda slowly slid her arms up Gary's chest, over his shoulders and around his neck.
Let me hold you,
I need to have you near me,
And I feel with you in my arms
This love will last forever.
Miranda pulled Gary close and buried her head against his neck, letting a few tears escape as the emotions of the past few weeks finally overwhelmed her. Gary held her tight, stroked her back and placed soft soothing kisses across her shoulder, fighting back tears of his own.
Because I'm truly,
Truly, in love with you, girl.
I'm truly,
Head over heels with your love.
I need you,
And with your love I'm free.
And truly,
You know, you're alright with me.
"I love you, Miranda. And I want the whole world to know it. But not tonight. Tonight, I just want you."
"I love you too."
They came together in a soft sweet kiss as the CD clicked over to the next track. After a second or two, Miranda pulled away to exclaim in delight, "Gary! You chose Billy Joel?!"
"Well," he shrugged, with a wry grin, "I thought you might approve."
They kissed again. No longer the tentative, uncertain kiss of two people who don't know where they stand, who are scared of hurting the other or moving too fast, this was a kiss of depth and passion between two people who know and trust each other completely.
Don't go changing, to try and please me;
You never let me down before .
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore.
I would not leave you in times of trouble.
We never could have come this far.
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times,
I take you just the way you are.
Don't go trying some new fashion,
Don't change the colour of your hair.
You always have my unspoken passion,
Although I might not seem to care.
I don't want clever conversation,
I never want to work that hard.
I just want someone that I can talk to,
I want you just the way you are.
I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew.
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you?
I said I love you and that's forever,
And this I promise from the heart:
I couldn't love you any better,
I love you just the way you are.
Gary slid one hand up the side of Miranda's body, coming to rest on the side of her neck. She was already running her hands through his hair and touching his face as they stared into each other's eyes, now completely filled with gazes of love and desire.
"Ok," Gary whispered, his voice husky, "Last chance to walk away."
Miranda shook her head and crushed her lips to his, fourteen years of longing finally pouring out. They fought for breath, hearts beating hard in their chests, hands roaming over each other, gripping clothes and hair, and stroking skin. The music played on, although they'd pretty much stopped dancing by now, at least in the traditional sense. Miranda's hand slid under the hem of Gary's t-shirt and she splayed her fingers across the bare skin of his back as he kissed down her throat.
"Gary?" she gasped, breathlessly.
"Oh, Miranda, please don't make me stop now!" he mumbled as he kissed his way along the chain of her necklace.
"No, Gary, it's just, my legs are turning to jelly, and I think my knees are about to buckle, and, do you think we could maybe move this over to the sofa?"
He pulled her tightly against him, and lifted his head to stare into her eyes, amazed at how straightforward this could be, now they were being completely honest with each other. He pulled her into another searing kiss and guided her backwards towards the sofa area. Her legs finally gave way as she gently bumped into the seats, pulling Gary down on top of her. They moved effortlessly to find a comfortable position, legs tangled together, Gary's body pressing tantalisingly over the full length of Miranda's. With her eyes closed, Miranda felt him pull away, then brush a strand of hair from her face.
"Did I mention how beautiful you look tonight?" he breathed.
She shook her head. "The dress is a birthday present from Stevie."
"No, not the dress. Well, not just the dress. You. Everything about you. Your eyes." He kissed her. "Your smile." He kissed her again. "Everything."
"You're looking pretty gorgeous yourself, I must say," Miranda admitted, running her fingers through his hair.
"Why is this suddenly so simple?" Gary wondered, between kisses.
"Maybe, because we both finally want the same thing?"
"I want you… this… forever."
"Me too."
They slowly began to undress each other.