A/N: Okay.. not much to say about this one. A random result of boredom, mixed with my love for Jacob and my trying to defend him. This takes place in New Moon, Jacob's thoughts right before he goes into Bella's room at night to try and tell her he's a werewolf. Please review!
I watch her sleep. Even when she sleeps, she still looks worried. Mourning. I can't believe he'd leave her like that. This beautiful angel, tossing and turning in her sleep, calling out his name. What I couldn't give for her to love me like that.
I would never leave her. Not for the world. She is my world.
The funny things is, she knows nothing about me, and she doesn't even realize that. She doesn't know my birthday or my middle name, only one of my interests and hobbies (cars). Yet I am her best friend.
She uses me. Worst part is, I am aware of that. And I just keep letting her use me. I wonder how long it will be before she sucks away my very being. From the very start, ever since that day at the bonfire, when she used me to figure out what her beloved Edward was ,to now, as she sucks away my happiness and stays on my mind more and more often. But I don't care.
I know it takes a while to get over losing someone you love, but how long will it take? And how long will this go on? How long will she torment me? Is she scared that I will pack up and leave suddenly, too? I won't, and I told her so. I tell her every day, try to show her every moment we're together.
When will she finally believe it?
I'm driving my friends crazy, thinking about her. They hate it when I phase and they have to hear my thoughts, see my fantasies. I can't help it. I love her with all of my heart. Let's face it, I'm infatuated.
Now I have to tell her. I couldn't stand how I tried to leave her today, how much it hurt. And I knew that by leaving her, that would make me like him. And I don't want to be a monster like him. Even if, physically, I'm as much of a monster as him, mentally, I vow to never be. She needs me, even if it's not the same way I need her. And that's why I have to tell her my secret now, and hope she still likes me.
Damn… how did it get like this?
I knock at her window.