Hey guys, this is my first fanfic so here it goes. It's about Edward's life as a newborn vampire and his struggles. Mainly writing this because I wasn't satisfied with Breaking Dawn and how Bella was all self-controlled. I really, really wanted her to go wild and kill somebody XD; So there will probably be alot of that murdery goodness in this fic with Edward. I will update more chapters later on.

I could feel my body weakening.

Yes, clearly now I wasn't going to make it through. With all the bustling and panic going around in the hospital it felt as if they had all forgotten about me. Well, except for that one doctor. Was it Dr. Cullen? I couldn't remember, not with the pain clouding my mind. I started vaguely thinking about my life up to this point. My dream as a soldier, my mother, my father. I heard my father had already died. It didn't bother me now, since I knew I was about to join him soon.

My whole life I could have lived if it weren't for this epidemic. My life ended by the Spanish Influenza, like all those before me. Huh, I wanted my end to be some what heroic. Can't change that now. So this would be the end for Edward Anthony Masen.

I started sensing someone standing over me. I forced my eyes open slightly and saw the perfect pale features of that one doctor. Why wasn't he getting sick also? Maybe he would be the only one left surviving this disease. Dr. Cullen was looking down at me with dark topaz eyes.

"Edward, how do you feel?" he asked gently.

I opened my lips to reply but a hard cough escaped my mouth. It made my throat even sorer than it already was. I gave up and closed my mouth. He took that as an answer. Slowly he spoke once more.

"Well, with all honesty, your condition is deteriorating quickly. I'm afraid I cannot do much more, except…"

He glanced away quickly but then returned his gaze.

"We will have to change location for this…" he muttered softly.

I didn't understand what was going on, but I didn't care now as to what he meant. I just wanted the pain to be done with. At this point it didn't matter if he had another solution to help. Death was my solution, and it would have been all over already if death wasn't so slow.

While I silently started growing more annoyed with death, I felt a quick rush of air and saw my images spinning. I shut my eyes instinctively and felt myself moving extremely fast. What was going on? Was death supposed to feel fast and rushing? I felt wind whirl against my limbs and cold air whipping my face. Hopefully it would end after this.

It all came to an abrupt stop and I could feel myself being lifted down and laid on something soft. My body was so weak at this point it was tiring to peek out of my eyelids. I could see a blurred shape of white and blonde edging toward me, coming down toward my neck.

I recognized the shape as the doctor who was just speaking to me. I smelled his sweet breath as he came closer. What was he doing? Ugh, was he gonna kiss me or something?

"Forgive me for what I'm about to do," He whispered, leaning over me.

I felt sharp pain cut through my skin and searing flame run through my veins. The fire was more painful than anything I'd ever felt. So it wasn't a kiss, but what did he just to do me? Was this some sort of cruel joke that he brought me here to make me suffer more? It felt like every cell and every nerve in my body had just been dragged across hot blinding white shards of glass. After the first moment of pain, every second felt like eternity. Except at this point I didn't even know how long a second felt like. The fire seemed to go on forever and the darkness of my eyelids changed from black to bright fiery red.

This continued for another eternity, and another. Anything felt better than the flame that was engulfing me, and by now I was deeply upset that death hadn't come for me like I thought. Or maybe this was death and I was suffering for my sins. But what sins had I done? I couldn't remember anything that was worth the torture as this. Maybe God had found a fault in me and I couldn't even remember what I had done. How unfair, at least I should know what I'm guilty of.

My heart beat was hard and fast, much faster than what it was supposed to be like. It felt like a continuous motor, duh-dum, duh-dum, duh-dum. That was the only thing I could use to keep track of time. I started counting my heart beats and slowly, ever so slowly, it became clearer to count and my mind started focusing on other things besides the fire.

I could hear a loud noise ring through my ears every few heart beats. Where was this sound coming from? Even though now it came on less often, it was beginning to annoy me. I clenched my jaw tight. Whoa, did I just feel myself move? Since the start all I had felt was the fire. Maybe that meant it was going away soon, since now that I noticed, I could feel the pain leave my fingertips and toes. With a sudden shock I realized that noise was coming from me. Did I really scream through that whole eternity with out realizing it? That made me feel silly, so I clenched my teeth tighter and heard no more noise from myself after.

After about 2,000 heartbeats I noticed the fire creeping away from my legs and arms. Now all the pain was in my torso and chest. Then suddenly, WHOOSH! My heart took off like helicopter blades and the heat that was in me previously felt like bath water compared to this. The fire became so hot I felt surely I would erupt like a volcano. I thrashed my arms about and clutched my chest. My back arched and I heard the loudest scream of all rush through my mouth. In the background I faintly listened to a person murmuring something that sounded like apologies.

My heart studdered. Duh-dum, d-duh-dum, duh… dum…

And no more…

Wooo! That was fun, but it was too short. Sorry if it seems a little rushed. I just wanted to get to get to the part when he's a vampire already... Also most of it is based on Bella's experience in Breaking Dawn, so it could sound a bit repetitive. And about the kissing thought Edward had, well, I'm not exactly sure why I added that there o.o