Experimental, thoughtless, and CRACK. It depends of the feedback that I receive from this story, if I continue writing this or not.
*Takes place in the shower room where Ed and Al are talking *
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"Envy's the worst." Edward growled out, and Alphonse nodded his armor head in agreement.
"He really is the most wicked one. Not only does he not care about hurting others, he finds it entertaining! I can tell by that disgusting smirk he always had on his face. Always messing up our plans, and-" He paused briefly, anger getting the best of him. And killing Maes Hughes. He thought with a hint of sadness."Without his interference, everything would become easier."
Even Alphonse's iron body started to fidget in unease. "Brother. You don't want to-?" He questioned in a rather hesitant voice, apprehensive of his sibling's response. The fury in the shorter Elric's statement died out instantly as he caught the implication of his brother's unfinished question and he put his arms out in a yielding attitude.
"Of course not. I don't mean, you know... killing him. I don't think we could never murder a human being-"
"-Although he isn't exactly human to begin with." Al mused to himself. The other Elric boy merely sucked on his teeth, deep in thoughts. "...Right." He stated evenly. "If he is or not, we are not capable of taking another person's life; even if it's questionable to keep that said 'person' alive because of logic." With that said, Ed's younger brother stayed silent, considering his words deeply. A sudden snarl came out of the short alchemist throat, catching Al off-guard.
"Even if he deserves the WORST possible death." He added venomously his eyes growing darker in rage. Just remembering the green-haired sin boasting about his atrocious actions while they were seemingly about to die in a bottomless pit made his blood boil. He didn't want to dwell on that too deeply, not yet anyways or he would lose his temper. Once again, Al subtly nodded, not wanting to actually voice his approval.
Ed then spoke again in a thoughtful tone. "And even if I did want to kill him, and didn't give a shit in doing it, I don't think I am PHYSICALLY capable of going through it. Homunculi aren't exactly mortal." Al put a pensive finger to his nonexistent chin. "He isn't immortal either. It's not impossible, Brother. Roy Mustang killed Lust pretty quickly."
Ed's automail hand waved at him dismissively. "Yeah, but I can't snap my fingers and create combustion instantly like that flaming bastard does. Mere alchemy cannot defeat him, or at least not quickly enough before I become exhausted trying. Did you already forget that Mustang almost died killing her? If he hand't burned his wounds shut, he would most certainly bled out in less than a minute. It was pure chance, Alphonse. Too much of a risk to take, even if Envy is not as collected and quick-witted as Lust was." He muttered in frustration.
"Besides, we don't really want to go that path, do we? We don't need to eliminate him...just make him useless for the time being. " Alphonse looked at him, troubled. "And how do we do that?"
The blonde boy shook his head in response, not really knowing the answer to the question. Then he went into a bit of deep thinking and replied,
"If there was only a way to get rid of his shape-shifting abilities, then Envy would become a liability in Father's eyes instead of an advantage. But to do that...Damn, alchemy can only go so far though-"
Edward halted his own words abruptly as if something startled him silent, his golden orbs wide and big as silver dollars. He stayed like this for quite a while, making Alphonse grow curious. "What is it, Brother?"
"There is no such thing as bringing the dead back to life, right?" Ed spoke slowly, gears obviously whirring in his head.
A short mental movie projected in Al's metaphorical eyes: vivid, graphic images like a slide show of his brother passed out and bleeding to death. The signature stench of blood couldn't be detected, even though the entire floor was bathed in it. He could sense anything now that he thought about , he noticed his own body was not flesh and blood but metal and hard, cold as the cement floor beneath them. And his brother... his arm and leg was taken by the Gate Finally, he directed his line of sight to the center of the transmutation circle, to that thing that was not their mother. It wasn't female. Damn, it wasn't even human! Al sighed at the terrible memory.
"Yes." He said softly, looking down. "No such thing."
"But, it is possible to transmutate living organisms from one place to another; Gateway-wise. " Alphonse's nonexistent eyebrows furrowed in bewilderment.
"I don't understand..."
"When we were in Gluttony's stomach, Envy told me something interesting. Gluttony is the result of a failed attempt in creating another Gateway of Truth. What Father wanted was ultimate power, but instead got a fake Gateway with no limit, no distance, and no escape. At least, that's what Envy thought. There was a way to get out of there, and it involved human transmutation." Ed spoke breathlessly, while Al still was in shock.
"Human transmutation? But-" Al still was not sure how to go about this situation. He never really actually knew how Ed, along with the others, came back to the underground Lair, in one piece.
"Don't you see Al? We weren't dead! The equivalent exchange was not faulty this time! By creating a transmutation circle again, I managed to retransmutate Envy, Ling and myself to the OTHER side of the gate."
"Something doesn't add up." Alphonse declared, after going through his brother's statement in his head. "You still had to give something up in order to make the transmutation work!"
"We did." He replied evenly. "Or, well. Envy did. We used a part of his philosopher's stone, which drained him of quite few souls to make it happen." Alphonse gave a sound of doubt but eventually nodded, understanding what Edward was talking about. "Alright. But what does this have to do our situation?"
"I was getting to that," Edward said, annoyed, " If Envy's core IS a philosopher's stone, then we can make another human transmutation happen to get rid of the homunculus strength."
Alphonse's make-believe eyebrow rose up. "And how could a human transmutation eliminate his power?" Edward sighed and started to wring out his wet sopping hair out like a rag, occasionally wiping his hands on the white towel that covered his lower body section.
"Maybe I can take out the physical body, who actually carries the abilities to shape-shift and regenerate, then we are left with a simply harmless but still annoying asshole who can't do anything but bitch and whine. " Ed grinned as he said this, expecting Al to immediately catch on. Unfortunately he didn't.
"Brother, I really don't know where you're going with this. You're speaking in riddles," The younger Elric sighed in exasperation. A sweat drop appeared anime style in the back of Edward's head "What I mean is...what If I only retransmutate his soul?"
It was like a lightbulb appeared above Al's head as he suddenly gasped harshly and pointed an accusatory finger at his brother.
"YOU WANT TO ATTACH ENVY'S SOUL TO AN ARMOR!"
"HA! So he can never tire and become practically indestructable? HELL no! We want to defeat him, not make him stronger. I practically almost kicked the bucket fighting No. 48 and I will not risk fighting against that again! What I am thinking, maybe can't even be done. There is no harm in trying, except of course a rebound. What we should do, Alphonse-" Edward took a deep breath of anticipation, draped the white towel to his shoulder and grinned again.
"-Is leave his soul at the Gate."
"WHAT'S TAKING SO DAMN LONG THERE?!-" A blonde military officer, or Envy in disguise, slammed the door open only to be greeted by Ed's naked form, and Al's horrified expression.
"AHHHH!"
Their blood curdling shrieks were heard through out the entire Central headquarters.
Weird plot that's for sure...well, tune in to see what happens next , I guess.