The Night of the Shear Folly
Tap…tap…tap… Eyelids fluttering in confusion, Artemus Gordon returned to consciousness as a too familiar sound permeated his fogged brain. He groaned as he rose stiffly from his armchair and grabbed pencil and paper. He opened the secret telegraph compartment and responded that he was ready to receive the message.
'Congratulations on another job well done,' Artie translated on paper, 'Proceed to the San Francisco office for a debriefing with Colonel Shear at noon tomorrow.'
"Shear?" he mused out loud, "It must be something important for him to travel from Washington just to meet with us."
Stifling a yawn, the exhausted agent tapped an acknowledging response to the request and moved towards a nearby window. Peering beneath the shade, he determined that it was several hours past sunset. Calling out a tentative, "Jim?" towards their sleeping compartment provided no response, so he opened a secret compartment to the right of the fireplace. He extracted a bell shaped device connected to a tube. He put the device up to his mouth and blew into it. Hearing a response through it, he began to speak.
"Orrin? We need to be in San Francisco by noon tomorrow. When can we be ready to leave? No, Mr. West is having dinner at the Governor's mansion, but I expect he'll be back in a few hours. OK, thanks. One of us will let you know when he returns."
Satisfied that he would not need to go out and interrupt his partner's engagement, one to which he himself had not been invited, Artie hid the communications device and picked up the nearest book. He returned to the comforts of his chair, valiantly fighting off sleep until his heavy eyelids surrendered to the force that was pulling them shut. The book slipped unread to the floor.
Close to midnight, Jim West swung open the parlor door, freezing at the sight of his partner sprawled uncomfortably in a chair. "Artie?" he queried softly as he shook the slumbering man's shoulder gently. He was rewarded when two bleary brown eyes opened.
Mildly concerned at his partner's apparent fatigue, Jim kept his tone light, "Why are you still up? Did I miss my curfew?
Artie rolled his eyes in response to his grinning partner, "We received a message while you were out. Colonel Shear is in San Francisco and wants to meet with us tomorrow at noon."
"Shear?" Jim pondered a moment, "I haven't seen him since I started with the Service. I wonder why he's come all the way out here to see us?"
Exhaling slowly, Artemus gratefully accepted his partner's proffered hand. He wavered slightly as he gained his feet, picking up and replacing the neglected volume to a nearby table. "Well, James my boy, that is a puzzle we can solve tomorrow. I'm headed to bed. Will you call Orrin and let him know you're back?"
Jim voiced his affirmation as he watched the older man shuffle slowly towards the sleeping compartment. "Good night Artie," he called.
"G'night Jim," responded the drowsy agent.
Shaking off a strange premonition, Jim made a quick call to the engineer then headed to bed. As his head hit the pillow, he felt and heard the tell-tale signs that the train was departing the Sacramento rail yard for San Francisco.
Promptly at noon, two riders approached the military offices. After tying off the reins to their horses, they entered the building and approached the sandy-haired Lieutenant on desk duty. Jim nodded pleasantly, "I'm James West and this is my partner, Artemus Gordon. We have an appointment with Colonel Shear."
The officer rose, "If you gentlemen will take a seat," he indicated to two hard wooden chairs, "I'll let the Colonel know you are here." He knocked on an unmarked door to his right and after opening it, had a brief conversation with the room's occupant. The officer motioned for Artie to enter, but nodded negatively when Jim rose to follow his partner in. Puzzled, the younger agent returned to his seat.
Bored after just a few minutes in the torturous chair, West stood and walked over to a bulletin board, where he perused some wanted posters. In desperation, he even tried to start a conversation with the taciturn Lieutenant, but was shot a glare that propelled him back to his seat. He was relieved when he heard the door open and his partner's voice reply, "Thank you for your honesty Colonel."
Jim watched with astonishment as, without another word, Artie smiled ruefully, tipped his hat towards him and exited the building. Figuring the Colonel would explain his partner's odd actions, Jim entered the office. He laid his hat on a side table and extended his hand to his superior.
"Hello Jim. Good to see you," Colonel Shear grasped the agent's hand hardily, "Please sit down." He indicated a stack of papers with his hand, "I've been catching up with the reports you've been filing. Let me start by congratulating you on the number of successful missions you have completed. Juan Manolo, Colonel Vasquez, General Florey killed; John Avery and Dr. Loveless taken into custody. Very impressive work."
"Thank you Colonel. I'm flattered that you traveled here all the way from Washington to reiterate your appreciation in person." Jim stated somewhat flippantly.
Shear smiled at the faint sarcasm, "You're right Jim. Let me get to the real reason that I traveled here personally. You and Gordon have worked together, what about three months now?" At Jim's nodded affirmation, the Colonel continued, "I'm not sure that you realized it, but there was opposition among some of the high ranking officials in Washington, myself included, of partnering you with Gordon. For some reason though, President Grant was adamant that the two of you be paired up, but with the concession that if in three months the results weren't satisfactory, that we would give you the opportunity to choose a new colleague. The required time is up and I've been authorized to give you your freedom."
"Freedom from what sir?" Jim asked, dreading the answer.
"Not from what, but from whom," the Colonel thundered, "Gordon, that's who!"
Suddenly all the little slights against Artemus Gordon during the past three months began to add up. Someone in Washington not only did not want him in the Secret Service, but wanted him to know that fact. The opposition had been so subtle in making Artie feel like an "associate" that even Jim West himself had been caught up in it.
"Sir, correct me if I am wrong," Jim began hesitatingly, "But didn't you just congratulate us for our run of successful missions?"
"No," retorted Colonel Shear, "I congratulated you. After I read your reports, I knew who deserved the credit for these accomplishments. All Gordon did was parade around in costumes asking questions. Where was he when it came time for action? I'll tell you where he was. He was knocked out cold or across town, following some dead end lead."
Seeing Jim's mouth open, Shear waved him silent with his hand, "Now, wait Jim before you defend him, I'm aware that he doesn't have the same background that we do. In fact, not many people do, but that has just changed. Eighteen fine candidates graduated this very week from the Secret Service training classes at Camp Reynolds on Angel Island. I've got some dossiers for you to look over." He handed two folders to Jim, "In fact, I took the liberty of requesting our two top recruits, Mr. Pike and Mr. Doorman, to meet us here. They are just down the hall and are both very eager to meet you. If neither is acceptable, you have carte blanche to select from any of the others or even pick a seasoned agent from another city."
Dropping the unread folders back on the desk, Jim's voice rang with what could only be called an uncharacteristic forcefulness, bordering on insubordination, "With all due respect sir, what if I don't want a new partner?"
Colonel Shear sighed, "Jim, your loyalty is commendable. I'm sure Gordon has some very fine qualities, but there are those of us in Washington who don't believe he was cut out to be a field man." He hesitated as he gestured to the stack of loose papers on the corner of his desk, "These reports you filed seem to back that up."
Jim picked up the first report in the stack and glanced at it. "I'm sorry you feel that way Colonel, but I have to respectfully disagree. Since Artie has a more eloquent way with words, I've been letting him write our reports and summarize them for me. I can see I'll have to start reading them word for word so I'll know what he is leaving out. I can see that it's not reflected in this report that Artemus was instrumental in capturing John Avery. I'll bet the report on General Florey doesn't mention that his eloquence got us out of a tight jam during that mission as well. Now, I'll be the first to admit, and he would probably agree, that his fighting skills could use some polish, but our styles of investigation complement each other." Throwing down the report, Jim continued forcefully, "You can't quantify a man on paper, especially this one."
"Jim, you don't have to cover for him anymore and you don't have to worry about his future either. I won't waste what talent he does have by firing him. We'll reassign him, maybe to Washington, to our labs. He'll be happier and you will too. Not only that, but you'll be safer. You are our top agent and you deserve a partner you can trust to watch your back."
"Colonel, believe me when I tell you that there is no one I would rather have at my back than Artemus Gordon. I know that wherever he is, his first priority is the success of the mission. We have built up a level of trust that it would be impossible to duplicate. If Artemus Gordon can't be my partner, then I will work without one. I've found it's better to only have yourself to count on than to work with someone you can't."
"Well, Jim, I didn't realize you would be so passionate about this matter. I wish I had spoken to you first then," Colonel Shear said shamefacedly.
"Why?" Jim dreaded this answer more than the others.
"Well, we were all so sure that you were just tearing your hair out wanting to get rid of Gordon that I…," the Colonel faltered.
"Colonel," West's voice took on an almost menacing tone as a knot settled in his gut and a distinctive chill was felt in the air.
"We, I mean I, may have given him the impression that you had requested another partner," the Colonel blurted out, "I gave him a train ticket for the 1:30 back to Washington. He was returning to your train to pack."
Seeing the disbelief in his best agent's eyes, Colonel Shear tried to excuse himself, "Jim, we thought it was for your own good. His too."
West jumped out of the chair and retrieved his hat. His parting words to the Colonel, "I can only hope for the good of the Service that I can stop him," persuaded the superior officer of his convictions.
Jim spent the time galloping back to the rail yard composing his thoughts and marshalling his persuasiveness to fight what could be the most important battle he had yet faced in his short Secret Service career. Reaching the train in record time, he flung open the door to the parlor. He breathed a sigh of relief when he heard noise in the hallway coming from the sleeping compartment.
Artie walked into the parlor area with a suitcase. "Here to see me off?" he queried sarcastically.
As Jim West took a breath, Artie forestalled him by holding up his hand, "I'm sorry Jim, you don't have to explain. Colonel Shear was very frank in his assessment about my lack of qualifications to be your partner. After listening to him, I'm surprised that you put up with me for as long as you did. I do appreciate the chance and I hope you find a partner with whom you are better suited." He appeared to contemplate shaking Jim's hand, but instead headed for the door.
As Artie's hand reached for the knob, West called out, "Artemus Gordon, I never took you to be a coward." The older man turned and set his case down, confusion written on his face. Jim continued, "If you walk out that door, all you will do is prove to that high and mighty Washington crowd that they were right; that you couldn't handle the pressure of being my partner, of being a field agent. No matter what Colonel Shear implied to you, he was mistaken. I didn't request a new partner and I don't plan to. Our track record speaks for itself. Now, if you've decided this life, this job, is too much for you, there's the door, but otherwise, I'm asking you to stay. I won't say it will be easy: getting knocked down, blown up and shot at, but if you are as dedicated to your country and your president as I think you are, then there is a place on this train for you for as long as you want it."
It was the longest and most heartfelt speech Artie had ever heard from his normally reserved partner. Blinking moisture from his eyes, he nodded his affirmation. West grinned, "Now why don't you take that suitcase back to your room and change into something comfortable, while I move some furniture around. I've got a few moves to show you!"