A/N: Ah- new story! And this one is all to be blamed on Future ADA, who just had to ask if I was going to continue this AU… and I wasn't really planning on it… but plot bunnies abound. *sigh* So, a month later, we have part 4 of a series- New Beginnings.
Disclaimer: Recognizable materials are property of LucasFilms and the like. I make no money, I just toy with other people's characters for my own sick amusement- and hopefully yours, if you're reading this. :-D
The Series: This is the FOURTH part of a series, which consists of: (all available on the site)
1- An Informal Apprenticeship- in which Jaina agrees to apprentice with Kyp during the Yuuzhan Vong war, and soon finds herself further in over her head than she ever expected (Rated M). (K/J)
2- Betrayal, Forgiveness, Redemption- in which Kyp succumbs further to the dark side after Jaina leaves him following the incident with the worldship at Sernpidal , betraying her and shattering her trust- with some shocking revelations at the end. (J/J)
3- Against All Odds- in which the 7-year-old daughter of Jaina and Jag is kidnapped, and Kyp is the only one who can save her- committing treason and attacking Jedi in the process.
This story… as far as background information, I would recommend at least reading part 2, Betrayal, Forgiveness, Redemption. There are numerous references to events in parts 1 and 3, but nothing that will be horribly confusing if you haven't read them. But the early parts of this story especially will be confusing if you don't have the background provided in part 2.
Summary: Set four years after Against All Odds, Jaina and Jag find themselves at a stressful crossroads in life: Leyla prepares to start her Jedi-training on Ossus, Jag's job takes its toll on his time with his family, and Jaina has an unsettling appointment with Cilghal- to discuss why, after four years of trying, her and Jag can't seem to have a baby.
Rating: T- for mild suggestiveness and sexuality, and some disturbing situations (or references to them).
New Beginnings
Prologue
Her legs dangled off of the examination table, kicking absently as she stared around the room, familiar but never seen from this perspective. Before, it had been a room in the Jedi temple, one she visited rarely, to check in with Cilghal or Tekli about something; once, she had been a patient down the corridor in a recovery room, only for a day after receiving a blaster burn in the side. But now, she was here, not as a patient, per say, but as an enigma, a problem to be solved.
She needed Cilghal to tell her what was wrong with her.
The mon calamari healer Jedi Master in question came striding into the room moments later, and Jaina gave her a wan smile that didn't betray her underlying frustration. Wordlessly, the healer attached a handful of sensors to various places on Jaina's head and body- mostly on her exposed midriff- and then sat back in a chair, hands clasped in her lap, staring intently at the patient.
"You say it has been four years?" her gravelly voice was grave.
"Yes…well," she hesitated, "we were really trying for a year, and then thought that maybe we were stressing too much about it, and it was so soon after the whole thing with Leyla being kidnapped… so we relaxed, realized that we had plenty of time, and just sort of… passively tried… for a couple of years," her mouth quirked wryly. "And then last year, I finally decided that it was time to see a doctor- a specialist in such things," she explained, and Cilghal blinked her understanding, "and he couldn't pinpoint any particular reason that it should be so hard for the two of us…"
"But you've still had no success."
"Obviously."
The healer considered the young woman carefully. "Well, Jedi Fel… I will of course do what I can, but… this is a relatively uncharted area in terms of practical Jedi application, and does not really fall under the heading of 'healing' so much. I only want you to have fair warning that I'm out of my element in this problem."
She nodded curtly. "Understood."
For close to an hour, Cilghal alternated between peering at monitors, connected to the sensors on Jaina's body, and relaxing into deep meditative-like states with a flipper-like hand lightly touching Jaina's head or stomach, reaching, sensing, feeling…
During that time, Jaina lay back, bored, on the table, eventually drifting into a light doze that glaringly showed the lack of rest caused by stress- and not really helping her case here. Finally though, Cilghal pulled away and a sense of consternation emanated from her, giving the patient pause. "What is it?" Jaina sat up. "Is there something wrong with me?"
For a long moment, the healer was quiet and contemplative. "Had there been a common or identifiable physical problem with you, your other doctors would have found it," she murmured. Then, almost hesitantly, she asked, "Jedi Fel- I wonder if, when you were pregnant with Leyla, you sought out and received appropriate medical care?"
Jaina started, and then looked mildly abashed. "No, Master; you know that I hid the pregnancy, going to the med bay aboard the Ralroost to ask for a check-up may have blown the whistle a wee-bit." A flicker of amusement crossed the mon cal's face, but the concern did not vanish. "Why?"
"A hunch more than anything supported with substantive evidence," she admitted. "It's been far too long now to know for sure, but… Jaina, I think the reason you struggle to conceive with your husband goes back to those… tumultuous times."
Jaina frowned heavily. "That doesn't make any sense- Leyla was born healthy, the pregnancy went well, all-things considered; how could that have had any effect on trying to have another baby?"
"Ah," Cilghal glanced downwards, huge eyes swiveling in their sockets. "You misunderstand; I refer not to the pregnancy, but rather to the… conception."
That certainly got Jaina's undivided attention. She stared at the healer for a minute, a look of dismay crossing her features, before she sighed, slumping forward exhaustedly. "Sometimes I forget about the… extreme measures… Kyp undertook."
And it was easy to forget; only five beings in the galaxy knew of the full story of Kyp's desperation, that he'd gone so far as to use the Force to persuade her body to conceive- and those beings were, of course, Kyp and Jaina, her husband Jag, and her uncle Luke and Cilghal, who had discovered the incident in the first place. The version that the rest of Jaina's family knew was damning- and accurate- enough; simply that, in the thralls of the dark side, obsessive, possessive and manipulative, Kyp had raped her, and that the ensuing pregnancy had been the unfortunate but unforeseen consequence.
It was a very good thing that Kyp hadn't relapsed to the dark side again during the intervening twelve years.
"Yes, well," Cilghal frowned, "there's something… I may even be imagining it…"
"Unlikely."
"… but I'm sorry to tell you that my instinct is that Master Durron did damage where he never intended- not damage visible to your ordinary doctors… but something living and changing within you, something responding to the Force but not to simple medical instruments."
Jaina unconsciously wrapped her arms around her body protectively, growing uncomfortable. Of course, raping Jaina had not been a good strategy to winning back her affections, and Kyp had known that; so he'd knocked her unconscious first, raped her then… and her uncle postulated that Kyp intended on returning to see her once more, when he was confident that she was, in fact, pregnant, and seducing her.
Things had never progressed that far- the deed had been discovered when her body had rebelled against the subtle manipulations, it had become evident to her in the next two or three weeks that she was pregnant, and she'd run away to put as much distance between herself and the newly-captured and quasi-imprisoned Kyp, and only her uncle had been aware of the full reasons for her disappearance; she'd never even told Cilghal that she was pregnant.
"Living and changing?" Jaina asked, lips pursed in slight disgust. "What does that mean? Clearly Kyp didn't render me unable to bear children, or else I wouldn't have had Leyla in the first place."
Cilghal spread her hands wide. "Simply put, I think it means that the attack on you twelve years ago was impulsive, emotional, lacked control… and, as a result, your body is temperamental even now. Physically, you're fine, and with some effort, I think we should be able to overcome the problem, but…"
"But?"
The healer remained silent for a moment, thinking and subdued. "The problem, Jaina, is that your uncle- in the attempt to protect your secret- never made Master Durron answer for what he did to you, never wanted him to suspect that he had been successful; and by the time anyone else knew, he had returned from the edge of the dark side, you had forgiven him, and I dare venture a guess that the surprise of Leyla's existence drove the issue out of people's minds fairly quickly?"
Jaina flushed and nodded. It was true; her parents, brother, and aunt had of course been angry and alarmed when Jaina confessed the truth of Leyla's parentage, and how it came to happen. But the thrill of a new addition to the family, at a time when war was just ending…
Kyp had pretty well gotten off the hook. And now, with Leyla nearing twelve years old, Kyp was long-forgiven and on good terms with his daughter and with Jaina and Jag.
"Well," Cilghal continued, "I should have liked the opportunity to learn from him exactly what he did that enabled you to conceive a child while on a medication that should have made the idea preposterous."
Jaina winced. "And you want to ask him now?"
Her head moved back and forth in a gesture of uncertainty. "It is, understandably, an uncomfortable subject for you and your husband- and for Kyp- and there is the possibility that he won't even be able to tell me very clearly or certainly. It's been more than a decade; he wasn't truly himself at the time. But…" she trailed away, glancing once at the floor. "Even if he cannot in detail explain… he might be able to… undo the damage."
Jaina stared at her blankly. "Undo it?"
"If there are lingering effects of his attack, they will have left resonances in the Force, resonances that will be more clearly followed by the one who… caused them."
She put her head in her hands and laughed mirthlessly. "Great. You know, Master Cilghal… all told, I've had incredible luck stemming from a horrible situation. I was able to hide Leyla when it mattered, Jag's always treated her like his own, Kyp's never resented him for it, Jag and Kyp get along great, actually, and now Kyp and Leyla have the kind of relationship that I think he always wanted with her. So it really figures that this would be the thing that finally drives a wedge in to all of that…"
"You think your husband will not be so forgiving anymore?"
She sighed. "I think he's been bothered and stressed for four years, worried and wondering why, at the age of eighteen, I was able to have Leyla just fine, but at the ripe old age of twenty-nine, I'm suddenly… infertile."
"You aren't…"
"I know," Jaina cut her off before smiling apologetically. "I know. But… it seems- likely- that Jag will funnel some of that frustration and stress into anger at Kyp. Rightfully so, perhaps," she admitted ruefully, "but I hate the thought of such a rift and what it would do to Leyla."
A long, mildly uncomfortable silence stretched between them before the healer spoke up in halting tones. "It is, of course, your choice how to proceed. And I can attempt to trace the source of the problem more thoroughly myself now, though there is really no way to gauge success save…"
"Me suddenly being pregnant," Jaina grinned. "Yeah." She sobered a little. "I understand; I guess that's just what we'll have to do for now. I can come back whenever," she added hastily. "But if that doesn't work… well, Leyla is leaving in a few weeks to spend a few months on Ossus, so…" she trailed away looking a little despondent, and Cilghal laid a flipper-like hand on her shoulder.
"I understand, Jaina. Why don't you come back tomorrow morning, and that will give me a little time to think about how best to proceed."
Jaina nodded and slid forward off the table. A thought occurred to her as she straightened her shirt and reached for her tunic. "Master Cilghal? Why don't we just have Kyp come along tomorrow morning, if he's free? Then you can perhaps gain a little insight into how to proceed, and the chance of success would be greater…"
Cilghal looked skeptical- for a mon cal, anyway. "I thought you did not want to involve Master Durron yet."
"If it was just the once, Jag wouldn't need to know. I came to see you, problem solved, I'm pregnant, bam."
Her gravelly voice was low, tinged with worry perhaps. "If you are… comfortable with that, Jedi Fel; I will not deny that consulting with Master Durron would be the most efficient way of determining how to help you and Ambassador Fel."
At the healer's cautious tone, Jaina hesitated slightly, but said, "I'll talk to Kyp tonight; either way, I'll be back tomorrow, Master."
End Prologue
A/N: *sigh* Silly Jaina… there's ALWAYS drama…
Anyway, I hope you'll follow along! Cheers!