Hello! Masterday here!
Rated: T for language
Warnings: Not Hyuugacest unless you choose to see it that way. More of intense family love, like how you can love your friends but not that way…that's what I mean. For the record, I love my friend K.K., but not that way. Get it? No? Too bad, you get to deal. Also, character death.
Disclaimer: I, Masterday, do not own Naruto or any of its characters. I simply write the fiction.
Please take note that this fic takes place twenty years after the chuunin exams, so Hinata is 33 and Neji is 34, or around there.
..sama/start
When Naruto became Hokage, she cheered.
When Hanabi told her she was getting married, she laughed.
When I told her I loved her, she smiled.
When they told her she would die, she frowned.
Oh, Hinata…
"Excuse me. I must have heard incorrectly. Would you please repeat that?" Hinata-sama sent me a very subtle glare, clearly indication it was time to shut up, but I continued on. "I could have sworn you just said that this disease was deadly and incurable. I could have sworn you just said Hinata-sama would die."
All but one of the informants twitched despite their training in hiding their emotions. The one who did not flinch at my frosty voice and equally cold accusation now lifted his head and stared at Hinata-sama and I with dead eyes. Slowly, he opened his mouth and spoke.
"We are truly sorry, Hinata-sama, Neji-sama, we really are." His face, however, proved otherwise as it was still as expressionless as before, the liar. I was about to reply that he should get his 'sorry' ass out of our manor and get the hell to work on finding the cure, that this was Hinata-sama we were talking about and there was no way in hell she was going to fucking die, damn it—but she shook her head at me.
"It's alright, Neji-kun." She turned from me to face the four men who had been sent directly from the Hokage. "I know that we cannot blame the messenger for his tidings. Please inform the Hokage I would like a private meeting with him at his earliest convenience." Her clear, warm voice became frozen, and her hands began to shake with something I could not, would not name. "Also, I would be greatly in your debt if you implied to him that I am not pleased."
Oh, Hinata-sama…
I stood outside her door. It was late in the evening, but I knew she was still awake. I had memorized her daily schedule long ago. I moved my hand into a ready position for knocking. I sighed, and let my poised fist fall. It contacted the wood of the door with a loud 'thunk'.
"State your name and business." That was her new voice. Her commanding voice, her leader voice, her Hyuuga voice. I wanted Hinata.
"Hyuuga Neji, wondering if his precious cousin is feeling alright." I said with a slight tinge of annoyance. A sigh came from within her chambers.
"Come in." I complied, and then closed the door. She stood there, long, blue-black hair, usually kept so neat, left down and tangled, her thin frame shaking, her pale skin even whiter than usual. Those eyes, her lovely, pearly, lavender eyes, pride of the Hyuuga clan, were wide from shock. We stood there, tense, ready to speak but unable to, for what seemed like hours--and finally, she broke the silence.
"Neji-kun…what should I do?"
"I do not know, Hinata-sama. I wish I did…"
Oh, my cousin…
Hanabi arrived the next day. Hinata met her in the informal meeting room. My younger cousin had already heard the news, and quickly ushered her many children and single husband out of the room upon Hinata-sama's arrival. The three of us left took our seats at the table, and Hinata-sama poured us all tea. No one took a sip.
"So, what brings you here, Hanabi?" The young woman's eyes widened slightly before she replied.
"Hina-chan," She started, using her childhood nickname for my Mistress, "We have heard that you have fallen ill. Are the rumors true?"
Will you really die?
Hinata winced. She had not done that since the late Hiashi-sama had scolded her as a child. She closed her eyes and schooled her face into a calm mask once more.
"Yes, Hanabi…I am afraid I have taken sick."
I am afraid I will die.
Oh, my sister…
Hanabi did not stay long after that. Hinata-sama said she would be fine and when Hanabi did not believe her, Hinata-sama ordered her home. A week later, Hinata-sama had her meeting with the Hokage. To put it simply, it did not go well. She stormed out of the meeting hall after only ten minutes and left for our mansion without saying a word to anyone. When we finally got home, she went out to the training grounds and destroyed everything in sight, regardless of its importance. Soon she informed me that with the exceptions of check-ups, (she would come with me for those) she was sending me alone to find out and then update her on the most recent news of anything regarding her illness. It was because of this that I was told one of the horrible truths behind her sickness.
"Are you absolutely sure?" I demanded. If this was someone's sick idea of a joke, I was ready to kill anyone who might be involved.
"Yes, Neji-san, I am. Following the path this disease takes, she will soon lose her sight. It happens every time."
"But…"
"I'm sorry, Neji-san, there's nothing you can do."
I lifted my eyes from their desolate place on the floor to his, gazing at the offender with obvious ill-intent.
"I can do plenty." With that said, I bid the medic a frosty farewell and left, contemplating the problem at hand—how to tell Hinata-sama the news.
Oh, my lady…
Hinata-sama did not take the news well.
"What the hell do you mean, I'll go blind?"
"Exactly that, Hinata-sama."
"No! This will not happen! I refuse to let it happen!" She stalked the room, a tigress readying herself for the hunt, and then caught sight of her unsuspecting prey—me. "Neji-kun, if you really love me then you won't let this happen!" I stared at her, shocked and hurt.
I could do nothing for you, Hinata-sama.
Quickly I slipped my emotionless mask into place before she could see my pain.
She just stared at me. Then her lovely eyes filled with sorrow.
"Neji-kun…I'm sorry."
"It's alright, Hinata-sama." I did not remove my mask, however. She noticed, and made a face.
"Neji, I really am sorry. I did not mean a word of it."
"I know," I replied softy. But now that the mask was back in place, uncomfortable because I had not needed it nor used it for many years, it would take more than a simple apology to break.
That apology, however, was not completely powerless. Combined with Hinata-sama's next actions, it was more than enough to shatter my façade.
She stood up, calmly walked over to be, placed her thin arms around me, and buried her head into my shoulder. Shocked, it took me a few seconds to return the affectionate gesture.
We stayed that way well into the night.
Oh, my mother…
I woke up one day, weeks later, expecting nothing out of the ordinary. Hinata-sama's condition had stabilized long ago, and all we could do now was wait. Wait for her to lose her eyesight. Wait for her to lose her mind. Wait for her to die—just wait.
I was just starting to get dressed when I heard something that made my heart stop. Someone was screaming. An extremely familiar someone. Dropping my shirt, I dashed out of my rooms and sprinted to Hinata-sama's.
"What the fuck is going on!" I bellowed at one of her door guards. He was shaking, but he lifted his eyes to meet mine without fear.
"She's waiting for you. Save her."
I did not need to be told twice.
"Hinata-sama!" She turned. Eyes wide, she stared at me.
"Neji-kun? Is that you? Oh, god, I can't see. Neji-kun, it's so dark. You know I hate the dark." She giggled.
"I know, Hinata-sama, I know."
Her white eyes, once so caring and piercing at the same time, once so strong, were shadowy. They were misty, soft, blurry, weak, and I had to accept it. She was blind.
She giggled again and stretched out her hands, walking towards me like a drunken man. I watched her in horror until she tripped over her own feet. I ran foreword to catch her, but did not make it in time. She hit the floor with a loud thump. She sat there, staring slightly over my shoulder, obviously thinking that's where I was. I slid over to her and put my hands on hers. She flinched, not expecting any contact. Carefully, I laid her hands on my face and whispered, "I'm here now…It's me, it's Neji."
"Oh…hello, Neji-kun." She giggled for a third time, before moving her hands around my face, feeling all my head had to offer. Her hands brushed over my forehead protector, and then carefully removed it. Her own features went oddly slack, and then she began to scream out of pure terror.
Oh, my daughter…
The council, unable to avoid the fact that Hinata-sama was not well any longer, decided that Hanabi would be heir. Hinata-sama had never married; she had been too wrapped up in leading the clan to care about men. Soon, it would be too late.
I tried not to think of what I would do when Hinata-sama was gone. Even if she lived through this disease, one day she would die. What would I do then?
Truthfully, I did not know.
Hinata-sama's health continued to worsen, but her mental health took the largest blow of all. She would not let me go anywhere unless I took her with me. If I did leave, and I had tried a couple of times in the beginning, she would scream, and piercing, unending wail of such utter terror it sent shivers up my spine. She would continue to shriek until I came to calm her down. The servants soon moved my belongings into Hinata-sama's rooms and I stayed there with her, slept with her, occasionally took her outside, but never out of the mansion. Even checkups took place within her suite.
In the daytime, she stayed composed in front of others, but she would still not let me leave her side. It was in the daytime, with the sun shining down upon us, that I really felt like things were normal, that Hinata-sama was fine.
Late at night, often he would wake me to assure her that she was still alive, that there was still light in the world even if she could not see it. She would cry then, and bury her face into my chest. I comforted her while she sobbed, whispered assurances I did not believe into her ear, told her everything would be alright, and soon she could see the light again, and that I would never leave her.
"Neji-kun? I know you won't leave me, but will I ever be forced to leave you?"
I did not answer.
Oh, my child…
I stood in the bleached hospital room, panting. I had argued and threatened the nurses and guards to no avail for many hours, but when Hinata-sama woke up and found I was not in the room with her, the damn idiots finally let me in.
Hinata-sama.
She was lying awake the starched bed breathing erratically, squirming and trying to free herself from the thick bands of cloth that kept her tied to the bed. She did not hear me come in, to preoccupied with her bonds.
"Hinata-sama?" I breathed. She did not hear. "Hinata-sama!" I repeated louder. This time she noticed. She stopped vainly struggling and faced me, her sightless eyes boring into my own.
"Neji-kun? Is that you?"
"Yes, Hinata-sama, it's me, it's Neji."
Her face transformed from curious to contempt.
"Oh…oh ho…So, Neji, decided to finally come, did you?" I was shocked, and did not reply. "Well, bastard, you're too late! I'm dying! Dying! Me! The great leader of the Hyuuga clan cannot survive a simple sickness!" Sarcasm laced her words when she spoke the last sentence. I had never heard her be so brutal, but it could not compare to what she said next.
"I hate you, Neji. It's all your fault. You didn't protect me." Venom laced throughout her words, and I felt my heart begin to crack. I could take this from most people, I could shrug it off without a second glance, but—
But I loved her.
"That's not true!" I screeched. "Hinata-sama, you know that's not true. I tried to help you, I tried—"
"You failed!"
"Hinata-sama…I'm sorry. I am so sorry." My heart was breaking. It hurt, so bad…
"Sorry does not cut it!"
I'm sorry…
"I will still die, no matter how sorry you are!"
Please…stop…
"I trusted you!"
It hurts…so much…just stop…
"I trusted you, Neji!"
Please, stop!
"Hinata-sama, what should I have done?"
She did not reply.
"Please! Tell me! What could I have done to keep your trust? What could I have done to combat your disease? What can I do to save you?"
She closed her eyes, and then opened them again.
"I'm scared." Her voice, more quiet then I had ever heard from her, shook. Her eyes rose to my face, and it was extremely eerie to stare into her white, unseeing yet still so insightful, bottomless pits.
"I'm so scared, Neji-niisan." Her voice shook and tears welled up in her eyes, a beautiful misted lake, before breaking free of its confines and spilling over her cheeks in rivers. Suddenly, it was like that past twenty years had never happened, we were still children and Hinata-sama was still scared of everything and anything. This was not anything, however.
This was death.
I will protect you.
"Hinata-sama." Her eyes poured all of her raw emotions out to me. Sorrow, regret, and so, so much fear…
"I will protect you. I promise." She nodded, and I walked to her bed and hugged her, despite the restraints.
She began to cry.
"Neji…Neji!" She screamed.
"I don't want to die! I don't want to! Don't make me do it, Neji, please don't make me do it!" She resumed her struggle with the bonds on her bed, and I realized what they were for. Her disease caused people diagnosed with it to feel fear in its true state, and Hinata-sama was no exception. Nurses, including Sakura-san, rushed in hearing her shriek, but could do nothing to calm her down.
"I don't want to die!"
I know…
"It's so dark! I hate the dark; I'm scared of the dark!"
I know!
"It's so dark here, Neji…"
"It's okay, Hinata-sama!" My voice cracked as I desperately tried to calm her down. Her complete panic would only bring Death faster.
"Don't leave me alone!"
"I won't, I promise!"
"I don't want to be alone!"
"I'm here!" I untied one of her hands, ignoring the glares from some of the nurses and the looks of sympathy from the rest, and put it on my face. "You see? Everything is alright! I'm, I'm here!" My voice broke again as Sakura-san ushered all of the medics out of the room to let us have her last moments alone.
"It hurts, Neji!" She screamed again, this time a mix of terror and agony. "I don't want to die!"
"You won't!"
"I don't want to die!"
Suddenly she stopped moving, and slowly her eyes became blank.
I held onto her long after all the heat had left her body, and as I felt it leave, I knew it was her life that was being drained away. I knew she was dead, I knew that my Hinata was dead, but I continued to hold her. Hours later, Lee came in to talk to me.
"Neji…it's time to go. She's gone." He whispered, putting a hand on my shoulder. Despite his gentleness, I flinched.
"She's not gone. She's scared. I promised her I wouldn't let her be alone. I promised her." My voice came out raspy as I tried to explain why I could not leave to Lee.
"She's gone, Neji." Tears were running down his cheeks as he embraced me and began to pull me away, and I knew there were tears on mine as well, knew that I was crying, knew that what he said was true, knew that she was dead.
I could not believe him. I could not believe myself. I could not believe the proof in my arms; I could not believe that she was dead.
I would not believe.
"No…"
I'm scared…
You're not dead. You're not. You can't be.
I'm so scared, Neji…
You're not dead.
I don't want to be alone!
I'm here! You're not dead!
I don't want to die!
When Naruto became Hokage, she cheered.
When Hanabi told her she was getting married, she laughed.
When I told her I loved her, she smiled.
When they told her she would die, she frowned.
When the Hokage could not help, she scowled.
When Hanabi came to inquire, she winced.
When I told her what would happen, she yelled.
When she lost her sight, she screamed.
And when she died, when my Hinata-sama died…
Oh, Hinata.
..sama/end
So? Did you like? I did, this is much better than Once Upon a Time…Thanks to ElricTheDragoness for her support; otherwise I would have never written angst/tragedy again! But now I just want to write more…
I might write a sequel to this in Lee-kun's point of view as he watches Neji lose his mind. What do you think?
Review decently please! And by decent, I mean a real review, even flames would be better than 'um' or 'good' or 'update'. I mean at least 5 words. I know you can do it.
I went back and proofread again armed with new knowledge, and fixed it. Also, I put in the line thing which wasn't working before. Sorry about that….
Once again, I reposted it, and hopefully this will be the last time. Apparently, last time I didn't proofread very well. Sequel may be coming up, look for it!
Review!
Review!
Review!
Masterday has left the fic.