A Life Well-Lived

A HariPo oneshot

by mew-tsubaki

Note: The Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling, not me. Well, I've been working out my head-canon for those in Harry's year…and this is something that's stuck with me for a while—I'm only just now writing it. Angst ahead, but… ;_; Read, review, and enjoy! *Note: This story happens at the same time as my oneshot, "if you fall at midnight," which you don't have to read, but I'd suggest it. Some of the later dialogue comes from it, too. :]

- ^-^3

"I'm a wanderer now; sorrow befalls me.
I laugh often so I suppose I'm gonna be fine.
Mozart, he said, 'There's nothing to composing.'
And that's all we do:
We just write and play and write and play and write and…"
—Meg and Dia, "Here, Here, and Here"

Anthony smiled gently as he came over to Terry, a warmed mug of butterbeer in each hand. He passed one to his boyfriend as he sat down beside him. "Hey."

"Hey, yourself," Terry said, glancing at the blonde boy over the edge of his cup as he took a sip. The drink did nothing to settle him, but it was the thought that counted. "What's the occasion?"

Anthony shrugged. "Aberforth managed to pass some along through the portrait. He got a barrel from Madam Rosmerta last night, so he's been sending mugs through every twenty minutes or so." He stared down at his own cup. "It's nice, isn't it?"

"It's not bad," the other boy replied. He wasn't sure what Anthony wanted to hear, exactly.

"Terry…" Anthony frowned and faced him. "You've got to calm down."

"Uh, I am calm."

The other wizard's frown deepened. "No, you're not. You've barely moved from this spot by the window since yesterday, luv. And," he added, grabbing Terry's hand, "you keep running your hand through your hair. You only do that when you're rattled."

Terry blinked. "Really?"

"Really. I first noticed that in third year, during our Transfiguration final."

Terry chuckled. "That long ago?"

"Of course." Anthony sighed and rested his chin on Terry's shoulder. "I can read you like a book, Terry S. Boot."

The brunette turned red. "Hey! I thought I told you not to bring that up. It's a family name, okay? From my mother's side…"

Anthony laughed. "I know, I know…" He sighed again. "Would it help to share your thoughts?"

"Agh, I dunno… Probably not."

"Oi, you two," Michael called from Terry's other side. He was stretched out on his side, facing away from them, his cloak draped over him like a blanket. "Please save the pillow talk for when I'm not around to hear it."

"Yeah?" Terry said, smirking conspiratorially with Anthony. "Then stop eavesdropping."

Michael grunted and groped around near his head. When he found what he wanted, he tugged and pulled the pillow out from under Padma's head, and he placed it over his free ear. Padma hit her head on the stone floor and woke up, grousing and then cursing when she realized what Michael had done.

Terry snickered while Anthony gasped. "Oops. Guess we won't have to worry about Michael's whining for the rest of the night…"

"Agreed," Anthony said. He looked around the Room of Requirement, taking in all that Terry saw—their fellow eagles, their fellow D.A. members, their fellow Hogwartians from nearly all Houses and nearly all years. "It's hard to believe that all of this has come together this school year…"

Terry's nervousness returned, and he couldn't fight running a hand through his brown locks this time. "I just can't believe that we're not doing anything we used to before. There's no studying this time around. There's no enjoying Hogsmeade, or getting the chance to abuse prefect and Head Boy duties…" Anthony gently grinned at that. "There's no enjoying chats with Flitwick or yelling at Peeves or, or any of that. There's no playing Gobstones or Exploding Snap with our friends in the other grades." He shook his head and smiled wanly. "On the bright side, I'm getting good practice at becoming a Healer already. Lisa would be jealous if she knew."

Anthony gripped Terry's free hand in his and pulled him to his feet. "Well, while we're without most of our freedoms, maybe there's something we can still do." He gave his boyfriend the most trustworthy look as he led him away from where most of the others were trying to sleep and where those who were still awake were planning.

In the half shadows of the dim lighting of the room, Terry was led behind a brazier with a small flame, and heat flooded him, thanks not to the little fire. No, with his hands in Anthony's, his body felt incredibly warm, just as it had many times before. Every time Anthony got affectionate or intimate like this, Terry always felt like any normal teenager, and it was a feeling he relished.

Anthony Goldstein was such a perfect, respectful boy. He was young in regards to some subjects, and he was always so innocent, a look heightened by the pale pink that often tinted his cheeks and by the flawlessness of his clean-cut blonde hair. Sometimes, especially when his nose was buried in a textbook and his cheek and fingers had smudged ink on them, he looked to be the perfect student and ideal Ravenclaw, something for the others to strive towards.

Terry, who often felt like one of the oldest students in their House alongside Michael, was studious, as well, but in a different way from Anthony. He demanded knowledge for competitive reasons, similar to Michael in that way, too. Anthony was just a sponge for facts, while Terry was just an average eagle. Still…

There were times, like this one now, which Terry liked best. They were the times when their roles switched. Anthony could be the one in charge. He could lead, and Terry would follow. And, revered Rowena, he would follow Anthony wherever he was led.

Presently, he was being led to the wall behind the brazier. Anthony pushed him up against said wall, and the two wizards simply took in one another's scents, picking them out at last as they were finally away from the others. Then Anthony cupped Terry's face in his hands and gently kissed his lips. The kiss was quick, but Anthony's hands remained. After an agonizing minute, Anthony moved his hands down Terry's neck slowly, sliding his fingers under the dirtied white collar of Terry's school shirt.

Terry's breath hitched, and he could hear Anthony smirk. In additional response, Anthony placed small, soft kisses along Terry's jaw and down his neck. Then he buried his face in the open shirt collar.

Terry wanted to ravish him right then and there, but that would be too inappropriate. He didn't care about scarring the minds of the others in the room—he only cared about embarrassing his love in front of the others. Still, he couldn't help how his hands roamed and toyed with the hem of Anthony's sweater, pushing it up so that he could slip a finger behind the buttons of his boyfriend's shirt, just to touch his skin.

Anthony flinched at the touch, for it had been a very long time since they'd been this close—about two months, since the time they'd relocated to the Room of Requirement with Michael, Padma, and Morag. But now Anthony jolted, bending forward into Terry, and it was nearly too much. Their mouths dangled by each other until finally pulling together like magnets. Terry wondered if he would indeed finally relax, and that idea grew stronger and stronger as he yanked Anthony's sweater off and Anthony at least undid his belt and—

"Oh, brilliant, you two. Someone else had to let me in!" came Mandy's gripe.

"Cripes, Mandy!" Anthony gasped, breaking away from Terry.

Terry swallowed his own yelp and glared at their friend as Anthony hastily pulled on his sweater. "Thanks a lot," he said through gritted teeth, but his annoyance ebbed when he saw how her hair was a mess and that her eyes were red. "Hey, are you all right?"

Mandy jerked a thumb over her shoulder, pointing to Ernie and Neville. "They let me in after Hannah saw me running here outside. I got on the bad side of Alecto finally."

"What happened?" Anthony asked, his voice innocent and full of concern—and completely different from a few moments ago when he'd been alone with Terry.

"I was going to sneak food here again, and Alecto saw me slipping out of the Great Hall." She grimaced. "Guess it's easier to spot departing students now that there are a lot more empty seats at the Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Gryffindor tables."

"Yeah, things have turned out that way," Terry agreed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Are you okay? You don't really look it."

"Thanks for noticing." Mandy gingerly pushed her wavy, reddish brown hair over her shoulder, and she winced. "That bitch grabbed me by the hair and then—" She bit her bottom lip, her eyes angrily watering. "She tortured me. She used the Cruciatus Curse, right there, in front of all the other students. Gave the younger ones a right fright."

Terry cursed under his breath and patted his pockets for his wand. Finding it, he cast a spell to take the ache away from her injuries. "Sometimes I get the feeling that nothing good will come of this."

Mandy shrugged, though she looked visibly happier, having healed somewhat. "I dunno about that. If anything, I think I might've inspired some of the younger students," she said defiantly, and with a glint in her eye.

"For now, go rest with the others," Terry said. "And see if Susan or Romilda still has those potions Kevin last delivered to us. If so, take one to get your strength back."

Mandy nodded, but Anthony said, "Wait! How're the others? Stephen and Kevin, and Lisa and Su?"

"They're hanging in there," the witch answered. "But Lisa's getting fed up and Kevin's making a lot of potions, practically nonstop." Her pale mocha eyes softened. "They're okay, Tony."

He nodded and they let her go, but once she was out of earshot, Terry made a noise of disapproval. "For now, they are," Terry corrected.

"Don't remind me," Anthony said.

"And you said I was the one who was down."

Anthony didn't appreciate Terry turning the tables on him. He gave him a disappointed look and then headed for the door. "Come on, Ter. If we're going to be up, we might as well take the next watch."

- ^-^3

Throughout the night, more students arrived. Several of them were younger students from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. In fact, along with Luca Caruso's and Alice Tolipan's arrivals, the entire D.A. now resided in the Room of Requirement. It truly was an amazing feat of magic, for the room to expand to accommodate them all.

The day flew by easily. Well, it went as easily as it had been for a while for those rebelling against Snape's regime. There were the usual injuries, with Seamus laid up in a hammock again and Neville looking like a completely different person, his face was so bad.

When night fell, Terry and Anthony were eating day-old rock cakes and flipping through week-old Prophets when something flitted within their sight. Suddenly, a bird landed in front of Anthony—it was a red-winged blackbird, the bird Stephen summoned when he cast the Avis Spell.

Terry's first feeling was one of panic, because he hoped Stephen and Kevin and the girls were all right. But Anthony reassured him they were.

"Remember the system, Ter," the blonde said. "We attach different colored strings to the birds' legs if there's an emergency. This is just Stephen saying we should meet." He patted Terry's leg. "You stay here. I'll go ask Ginny and Susan to see if they'll go with me. I'll need them if Kevin's made as many potions as Mandy implied, because I won't be able to carry them all by myself."

Terry refused to let his protest die on his lips. "Then I'll go with—"

Anthony pressed a finger to Terry's lips. "No, luv. If you're here, then I'll have peace of mind, knowing you're safe." He gave him a quick snog and then he was off.

Terry, without anything to do, darted his eyes to the window. It was night again. And, just as he had to do every other night, Terry had to wait.

The better part of an hour passed, and when a second hour arrived, Terry began to feel nervous. He'd initially distracted himself by trying to heal more of Neville's face, though that was a story in and of itself; some of Neville's cuts were cursed to heal normally, without magic, and Terry also couldn't do anything about the missing tooth. Though it did make Terry wonder exactly what the taunt had been to get Alecto and Amycus to attack Neville so viciously…

The general quiet of the Room of Requirement was interrupted soon enough, though. Anthony, Ginny, and Susan returned, but they had Lisa and Su with them.

Terry ran over to them, as did Michael, Justin, Parvati, and Dean. "What's going on?" Terry asked.

"You didn't run into any more trouble, did you?" Dean inquired warily.

Ginny shook her head. "No, it's—" She stopped and looked over at the blonde witch in blue. "Well, Lisa, you can explain."

"I decided it was high time for me to join you guys down here," Lisa replied shortly, a little out of character for her normally sweet and soft-spoken personality. War really was changing everyone. "At first I was just adding to Stephen's list of helpful spells for everyone, but when Ginny and Susan told us about Seamus and Neville, I couldn't sit still any longer. So, I'm here."

"Nice to know we've a competent Healer now," Michael teased, eying Terry and avoiding Lisa's look he earned from the joke.

"Joking aside, I'm here, so let me put to use the skills Madam Pomfrey has risked her life teaching me in secret this year," the girl huffed. She stomped off to where Seamus rested, Su following behind her.

"All Su said was that she wasn't letting her girlfriend go alone anywhere," Susan informed them, to which the eagle boys nodded, as it made sense. Lisa and Su, who had never quite named their relationship, had always been strangely inseparable. Terry thought it was good for them to come to their senses about the truth at last.

As the little powwow split up, Terry conjured a cup of water for his boyfriend, and they sat down by some of the younger students, who were keeping their mind off things by playing around with their magic. "So…think Stephen and Kevin might come here soon, too?"

Anthony frowned. "I'm not sure. But we'll definitely see them again—Kevin's not stopped making his range of potions," he added with a tiny chuckle.

"Yeah, well, if only things were that easy…"

The other wizard nodded.

- ^-^3

Terry got a decent night of sleep for once. He wasn't sure how it had happened, but all he knew was that he'd woken up on the floor with his head in Anthony's lap and a blanket draped over both of them. He figured Mandy, Lisa, or Padma had put it there, and he silently made a note to thank all of them later, regardless.

The day passed without much pause, and its peacefulness set Terry more on edge than he had been two days ago, when Anthony had told him to calm down. He got the feeling that others sensed it, too, that today was just a little bit different from all the others. In general, people just appeared a little happier, a little more confident. Neville even dared to grin, in spite of his injuries and missing tooth.

"I've a good feeling today. Or maybe about tonight," Neville said to most of the D.A. Ginny agreed with him.

All in all, Terry's heart thumped in his chest. He just hoped that the adrenaline by which they were all functioning would help and not hinder. Sometimes hope could be a disastrous thing.

By evening, however, that good mood could be explained. It had, in fact, been a premonition of the good to come—

—for Harry, Hermione, and Ron returned that night.

The uproar in the Room of Requirement was brilliant, and if there hadn't been a war going on, Terry would've been the first to start a party. While the others celebrated, Anthony and Terry took Ginny's post so that she could reunite with Harry, and they took their posts just in the nick of time, for Stephen and Kevin were running their way.

Anthony spotted them first, and both he and Terry motioned for them to get inside. Stephen and Kevin apparently had followed Stephen's red-winged blackbird here instead of using it as a message.

"About time you blokes showed up!" Terry gasped as he and Michael closed the door behind them. "You had us worried there, wondering if you'd be trapped up there in the dorm or trapped in the Great Hall with Snape."

"Is it true, that Harry's back?" Stephen asked. He and Kevin did appear awestruck by the use of space, though that was the only attention they gave the Room of Requirement.

"Yes," Neville answered him, but he had already started handing out assignments in Harry's stead. "And he's got a job to do, so let's do ours."

The Golden Trio had quickly gotten down to business, and once it was sorted that they'd go searching for Rowena Ravenclaw's lost diadem (why, Terry had no bloody idea—it was lost for a reason, wasn't it?), and Ginny, Neville, and Luna left, as well, Seamus, Parvati, and Dean set about acting as the sextet's lieutenants, and the D.A. began to break into groups. Michael, meanwhile, pulled aside all the eagles in their year.

"Anyone have any suggestions?" Michael asked.

"The spells I sent—has anyone practiced them?" Stephen inquired.

Padma frowned. "A few have. Just the wording. I wish we'd had time with a real teacher to teach them…"

"I've at least got potions," Kevin said, opening his bag and rummaging around until he had two in each hand. "In general, blue is poison and/or acts like an acid, green will explode, purple will cause side-effects, and red will make the pain go away."

"That's brilliant, Kevin!" Mandy exclaimed, taking one of the red phials. She looked hopefully at him. "Got any more for healing?"

"Orange—a few." He looked at Michael. "If we're splitting up into teams, I'd suggest one of the orange ones per team, though each is about only two servings."

Terry gazed in awe at Kevin's stash. "Merlin! And to think I've had Lisa helping me with Healer spells!" He really couldn't believe that Kevin had had the time to make so much. Lisa, however, raised a disapproving eyebrow at Terry and cleared her throat, as if to remind him that becoming a Healer did entail use of spells.

Kevin basked a little in the praise. "It's all right. Steve helped."

Stephen's face flushed momentarily when all eyes landed on him (Terry thought that Stephen and Kevin could be so simple to figure out sometimes, and it was amusing), but then he cleared his throat. "I guess we're not all going to be on one team, yeah?"

Anthony nodded. "Safer that way, for some." The last bit he added wistfully with a quick look to Terry, and Terry looked back, hoping his eyes conveyed enough. He'd save his words for later. But he also hoped to mention shortly to Anthony that there was no way in Azkaban that they'd be on separate teams.

Morag cleared her throat. "So, I guess we'll plan a double civil ceremony after we kick the bad guys' arses?" she asked cheekily, as she showed a ghost of the spunky witch she'd once been with her rough Auror's mouth coming through despite not being an Auror—yet.

Terry saw Kevin blush, and Kevin and Stephen broke apart; apparently, someone had grabbed someone's hand. "I don't know what you're talking about," Kevin fibbed.

The others gave them a mixture of looks, throat clearings, snickers, smiles, and "hmph"s, though, so clearly they were unconvinced. Terry just had to wonder how Kevin and Stephen could think that they'd kept it quiet all these years. Yes, Terry and Anthony had been public and Lisa and Su had been rather obvious, but Kevin and Stephen were like an accepted fact that no one mentioned when in the room. And apparently Kevin and Stephen hadn't realized that they'd been such a fact.

Turning their attention away from individuals, Michael broke away from the group to converse with some of the other D.A. members. Since Neville, Ginny, and Luna had already disappeared and now Seamus, Dean, and Parvati were acting as their lieutenants, it was decided that remaining participants were to break up into groups of four. Even the older students, such as the Weasley twins, had disappeared to prepare for the fray, so those left to fight were basically the remnants of Dumbledore's Army.

The grouping had to happen quickly, however, as the sounds of battle came suddenly. Terry found himself in a group with Anthony—of course—Justin, Parvati, and Sally-Anne, the last of whom had turned up at the call to arms despite being a Muggle-born. But then something terrible happened, and Anthony said words that Terry didn't want to hear in this life or even in the next:

"Terry, you shouldn't be in this group."

Terry's heart jumped into his throat and his palms didn't feel. They didn't feel clammy or cold—they were just numb. "Wha…?" His voice couldn't work properly enough to let the entire word out as his eyes widened.

Anthony pulled him aside, but they couldn't talk for long. This had to be quick; there was fighting to be done. "Ter, I love you to bits and I will never love someone else for as long as I live—"

"Don't say that! You sound as though we won't see each other again!"

The blonde smiled grimly. "Luv, we can't guarantee it. As smart as we are, we can't guarantee it."

"Then let me stay on this team! I'll protect you!"

"That's what I'm afraid of." Anthony closed his eyes, and Terry wanted to scream, to get those tender brown eyes back on him. "Terry Strong Boot," he whispered, using that blasted full name, "if you are nearby, I won't care about anything else. You are my Achilles' heel. I would die for you." Even with his eyes closed, Anthony was tearing up. "So please, don't fight right beside me. We'll both die that way."

Terry bit back every selfish retort he had, for Anthony had poured every fiber of his being into saying those things to Terry. And, as much as it hurt Terry to hear them, he knew it hurt just as much if not more for Anthony to say them. So, Terry nodded, and they rejoined the others.

"Morag's lot needs another member," Justin said, and then they headed out, Terry sullenly leaving with Morag, Romilda, and Mandy. They went for the Entrance Hall while Anthony's group left to defend Gryffindor Tower.

"Defend as well as you can," Morag told the three of them. "But—" Her voice caught, but she pushed on. There was a hard look in her eye when she glanced behind her to look at them. "Don't hesitate to kill, guys. The Death Eaters won't."

Terry's blood felt chilled at her statement. Though the logical part of him knew she was right, it was still terrifying to hear her say those words. And, as they joined the fight, he thought he heard Professor McGonagall say something along those same lines. It truly was a fight for their life now.

Terry's group had a short reprieve before the actual battle. With the covered bridge blown up thanks to Neville and Seamus and the stone bridge defended by the suits of armor that Terry had once thought were only for decoration, Hogwarts was protected for a little while.

But then the Death Eaters were coming at them in full force, and they brought giants, Dementors, and acromantulas with them.

People screamed and yelled everywhere, and Terry could focus only the opponents before him. Begrudgingly, he began to understand why Anthony had separated them. The Death Eaters and the giants were bad enough, but at least the spells and the motor-sized feet were a tad easy to avoid. But the spiders and the Dementors? They were a big problem.

The spiders chased their victims into corners when possible, and the Dementors seemed to appear from the shadows when one wasn't looking. Terry had a hard time conjuring his Patronus—a swordfish—in time to fend off the fearsome creatures, and sometimes his Patronus flickered out. Still, he had enough good memories of loving Anthony and having his family and being friends with Michael and with their classmates to keep producing a fully corporeal Patronus.

But it wasn't enough. His group ended up chased into the Clock Tower. Though the acromantulas couldn't follow them and the Dementors turned away in pursuit of other prey, the Death Eaters came at them with renewed strength. Some fat man and a reedy-looking woman ran after them, shooting off hexes and jinxes whenever Terry looked over his shoulder.

Ahead of him was a scream. Romilda had been caught by the Cruciatus Curse. She was held by it for only a few seconds, but she lost her footing and was sliding off the platform and towards the gears. Morag lunged for her just in time.

At that moment, the Dark witch threw another curse that way. Morag dodged it, but just barely. There was little chance to breathe a sigh of relief, however, as the Dark witch motioned for her companion to join her in the onslaught. And so they threw spell after wicked spell at the students. There were so many colors, all colors of the spectrum, that the inside of the Clock Tower lit up like a Muggle celebration with fireworks. Every inch of the place was lit; there was no place to hide.

But it was still hard to miss the large, sharp streak of emerald that flew over Terry's shoulder. He heard it connect, and then a body dropped, and his stomach plummeted, but he didn't dare look to see who it was until their opponents were dispatched.

However, Terry's rage grew within him. He wondered, as he took Morag's grim advice and threw the curse at the Dark witch, how many of them would be breaking the law tonight. And yet…

When that witch's body fell, frightful expression frozen by the Killing Curse, Terry knew that it wouldn't matter until the fighting was done.

He heard another scream from Romilda, but he and Morag managed at least to push the Dark wizard to his knees. The man ended up knocked out, and only when he stayed that way for a solid minute did Terry and Morag turn their attention elsewhere.

Her body limp like a marionette at rest, Mandy lay perfectly still on the wooden boards. Her hair was a mess around her head, but at least her eyes were closed. Terry wasn't sure he could've looked at her if her eyes had been open.

Morag dropped to her haunches by her friend and gingerly reached out for Mandy. She held the body in her arms and rocked back and forth, swallowing her sobs. Romilda came over, having at last gotten her wits about her, and touched Morag's shoulder. Morag shook, so Romilda held her. But there was nothing to be done about Mandy.

"You've got to let her go," Terry said leadenly. It didn't sound like his voice to his ears. They didn't sound like his words. But it was his voice; it was his sentence.

Morag sniffled and stood with Romilda's help. "We have to come back for her, though," the green-eyed witch stated.

"We will. But only after, when…" He didn't finish that thought. No doubt there would be numerous bodies to bury.

The trio headed for the exit. They were on their way down, Romilda first, Terry second, and Morag pulling up the rear, when a rolling and flopping sound occurred. Terry only had time to blink before the Dark wizard they thought they'd knocked out regained enough consciousness to Blast them out of the remnants of the Clock Tower. Terry pushed Romilda down, trying to shield her, but they all went flying.

Terry stood weakly in the courtyard, where they landed, and looked around. Romilda was up ahead of him, moaning but otherwise okay. But he couldn't find Morag. "Morag!" he shouted, as if he could be heard over the tumult.

Romilda joined him in a quick search, but her overwhelming panic did nothing to help. Her eyes welled with tears. "Morag…," she whimpered.

Offhandedly, Terry wondered how close the two had been. But he returned his thoughts to the conflict at hand, and hours passed as he battled almost numbly. If there was a mask, it got Blasted. If there were robes of jet, they got Stunned. If there were frightened faces in blue, red, yellow, or even green, they were saved.

The lively crowd dwindled as the bodies, unconscious or dead, piled up. It got down to the point where Terry began to Bind any Death Eater-looking person, but after some hours it seemed as though things had quieted.

It was only when Terry and Romilda made their way to the Great Hall and saw no war did it hit them that Harry had done it. Harry had defeated Voldemort. And they had missed it.

Terry blinked, incredulous. After all that had happened, he couldn't believe that he had actually missed probably the greatest thing ever to happen in his lifetime. But he didn't bother complaining as he sought something to celebrate.

In the Great Hall, Romilda broke away from him and ran crying. Ah. She had gone to the body of Colin Creevey, who, along with his brother, had snuck into the castle to fight. But Dennis had not died. No, he was there with his friend, Nigel, and Romilda, and the three of them looked on in horror at Colin's cold form. Terry turned away, for he didn't want to see that.

He didn't want to see that Fred Weasley had died, either. And he didn't want to know that Professor Lupin and his wife had been killed. He didn't want to know that Megan and Leanne had passed, and he didn't want to see that someone else had retrieved Mandy's body. And he had a right fright when he saw the terror painted on the face of Kevin's body. How did Stephen feel right now?

And, most importantly, where was Anthony?

Terry's pulse quickened and he searched the sea of faces. He didn't quite care that some of the older, Dark Lord-sympathetic Slytherins had died. He couldn't be bothered to learn the first name of Rivers, the Hufflepuff boy who shared a dorm with Justin and Ernie and Zach and Wayne. He already knew that Mandy and Kevin were dead. And a small part of him grew into a jealous beast when he realized that all of the lions in their year had managed to survive.

He jogged past some younger students and an injured Firenze. He ran past where Parvati poured over Lavender, for Lavender was barely alive, her neck a nasty spectacle. He looked all around him, slowing only when he found Michael alive and well. The two boys embraced, a friendship now immortalized as a brotherhood by the relief in seeing one another alive. "Mike—" Terry had to catch his breath, but not from running. His heart hadn't stopped pounding at one hundred miles per hour. "—have you seen Anthony?"

Michael's face fell. "No, I haven't. I figured he would've gone off running to find you after what Harry did." He managed a smile. "It's over, you know."

Terry nodded distractedly. "Yeah, yeah, I know. But Anthony—" He spied Padma walking away from her twin. "Oi! Padma!"

She came over and joined them. Padma enveloped them both in one large hug, happy tears in her eyes…or maybe she was just trying to cry the debris out of her eyes. "Hey, you two. Merlin, it's good to see you, Terry."

"Yes, but have you seen Anthony?"

Padma paled. She didn't even open her mouth to speak.

So Terry's dread worsened. "Padma, no…"

Her gaze fell to the ground as she fidgeted. "Terry, I—"

"No, don't say you're sorry." Terry, for the second time that evening, felt his rage rear its ugly head, and he felt terrible for even thinking how perfect it would be in that moment for one more Death Eater to appear just so he could hurt the bastard.

Michael's shoulders sagged. "No. No, you've got to be wrong."

Padma turned, her braid a frizzy tangle against her back. All she did was motion for them to follow her.

This trip to Ravenclaw Tower was not one that Terry or Michael wanted to take. But it had to be made. Padma led them up and up until they could see the huge hole. She stood at the edge and pointed down.

"Justin and Ernie went to find his body, but they've had no luck."

Terry almost fell, as the muscles in his body weakened. But Michael caught him and Padma finally looked at him and Terry almost felt as though they were just as disheartened as he was. But he didn't think that possible, and he didn't want any pity either.

So he ran.

He ran down the stairs. He ran through the halls. He ran outside. He ran around the castle, leaping over broken tree branches and spider bodies and climbing over rubble piles and dead giants.

And he saw that Justin and Ernie had stopped looking a while ago.

Terry clawed through the fallen rocks, but Anthony wasn't there. There was the tiniest spark of hope inside him at not finding Anthony buried. But then his brain told his heart to calm down, and Terry looked up.

He could still see Padma standing at the edge, although now Michael was standing beside her. Terry mentally edited them from the image and thought about the blast and how Anthony could've fallen and then it clicked:

Anthony had not fallen…he had flown…

Terry turned away and surveyed the area. Calculating the trajectory based on how far he, Romilda, and Morag had flown after their own attack—and he made a mental note to search for Morag, as well—Terry could only guess that Anthony was at the edge of the castle's base, where building met natural foundation.

He carefully edged the mouth of the canyon below. As predicted, Anthony's body was here, further out from where the others had assumed. A sob caught in Terry's chest, but he Levitated Anthony's body to him, the word "Levicorpus" sounding much too deadly for once, and held the body in his arms.

Time seemed to stand rigidly still for as long as Terry held Anthony's body. But he knew that he couldn't stay there indefinitely.

Terry carried Anthony's body into the Great Hall. He walked until he found Kevin's body and he put his lover down beside his friend. By the sound of their sluggish footsteps, he knew when Padma and Michael came up behind him.

"All we found of Stephen was his tattered cloak, nothing more," Padma whispered. "We've searched all over for Morag, going by what Romilda said happened. We can't find her, but…" She didn't have to say it. Morag was probably dead, too. "Lisa and Su are missing, as well."

Terry darkly laughed. "We did brilliantly, didn't we? Only three of us survived." He didn't look at them. "Only three of us survived and yet all of Harry's crew is fine."

Padma opened and closed her mouth, probably poised to say something about Lavender, but then Terry stood. He finally faced them, and their eyes met—blue and brown and darker brown. Then Padma reached for his hand and Michael drew him into his arms and the three of them stood together, shaking while trying not to cry.

As much as Terry had wanted to hurt someone earlier, he knew he couldn't kill again. Once had been enough. And Anthony wouldn't have liked knowing that Terry had done that anyway. Anthony had been a good pure person, so…Terry would be that good that Anthony was. For Anthony.

- ^-^3

Okay. I vote for me not writing angst for a while. Or charrie death. It kills me to write it, because I love these charries so much…stupid head-canon of mine! Dx Agh… Well, there you have it. This coincides with "if you fall at midnight" and leads in to "the broken ones," which I strongly suggest you read if you want a happy ending for Terry. Lastly, Stephen/Kevin and Lisa/Su are M&MWPs, so some credit would be nice if you wrote them, thanks. Also, no OCs were used in this fic, just a lot of VERY minor charries, so yeah. Finally, the implied Morag/Romilda comes from my good pal, autumn midnights, so please give her credit for that pairing. :)

And now to write "the broken ones"! Dx Thanks for reading this, though, and please don't favorite without reviewing!

-mew-tsubaki! T-T