Questions

Fandom: Wizards Vs Aliens

Rating: K+/T

Genre: Family, Humour

Pairing: Tom/Lexi

Word count: 513

SPOLIER WARNING FOR 02x14.

Summary: *SET AFTER SERIES 2 FINALE*. Benny Jr has a question - but no one seems to want to answer it...Spoilers for S2. Tom/Lexi ONESHOT

A/N: There is not enough Wizards VS Aliens fanfiction! I have loads of other fics and stuff that I should be doing, but I feel like I have a duty to contribute to this fandom. I'll probably upload some more one-shots at some point. DISCLAIMER, as usual, I own nothing.

"Uncle Varg?"

Varg's eyes shifted from glaring at the end of the sofa, down to the seven year old boy in front of him.

"Yes?" He tried to sound as...human-y as possible, but, well, even in human form, it wasn't working.

"Where do babies come from?"

There was a choking sound from the other end of the sofa; Varg sent another withering glare at the halfling wizard, who was trying to muffle his laughter with his hand.

"Benny, why don't you ask your father?" Varg said, trying to bare his face into a smile. It didn't work.

"I did. He told me to ask you."

"Oh...he did, did he?" Varg turned to look at the boy in question; he was almost falling off his place on the sofa.

'The halfling wizard is dead, brother-in-law be damned,' Varg thought, before turning back to Benny Junior.

"Well, Benny, when a halfling male and a halfling female have mutual affection for one another, they decide to - HALFLING, IF YOU DO NOT CEASE YOUR LAUGHTER, I WILL NOT HESIATE TO THROW YOU INTO THE EXTRACTOR!"

Tom grinned. "Go on, Uncle Varg, I won't interrupt anymore."

"Thank you," Varg replied, not really meaning it, before turning back to Benny, who was watching him expectantly, still waiting for an answer.

"As I said, before I was so rudely interrupted..." Another deathly glare was sent Tom's way. "...when a halfling male and halfling female feel affection for each other, they decide to..."

"What?"

"...to..."reproduce"."

"Oh." Benny seemed to ponder this information, before speaking again. "So, is that what Mum and Dad did, then?" There was a thump as Tom fell off the sofa, in a fit hysterical laughter. Varg opened his mouth, ready to yell out a very explicit - and descriptive - threat, child in the room be damned, but was cut off by the door opening.

"I'm home!" Lexi appeared in the doorway, windswept-looking blonde hair falling over her face. "Anything happen while I was gone -?"

"Lexi! Thank goodness!" Varg leapt up, and practically sprinted across the room. "I cannot stay here in this ABOMINAL house any longer!"

"Uh...Varg?" Varg was already trying to claw his way out of the front door. Eventually, he managed it and rushed out of the house, slamming the door behind him. Lexi turned, eyebrows raised, just as Tom managed to pick himself up from the floor.

"Have you been torturing my brother again?"

Tom grinned, unashamed. "Sorry."

"You're awful." Lexi rolled her eyes.

"But, you love me for it."

"Mum?" Benny piped up.

"Hmm?"

"Why did you and Dad decide to reproduce?"

"Excuse me?!"

"Well, I asked Dad where babies come from, and he told me to ask Uncle Varg, so I did, and he said that you decided to reproduce, and then Dad fell on the floor, and then Uncle Varg threatened to extract him, and then he ran away," Benny summarised proudly. "So, I'm asking you."

Lexi sent one of her glares at Tom. "Oh, really?"

"Remember," Tom said hastily. "You love me, BECAUSE I'm awful!"

End.