A/N: Hi, so this is my first South Park fic, there probably won't be any gay pairings,
and the boys are around 17. I'll also be putting a chapter track :)
There's not really any more to say. Please R&R :)
Chapter track: Fleetwood Mac - Landslide
Some say the worst feeling in the world is when a loved one passes on.
Some say it's guilt.
But imagine that your best friend is hanging in between life and death, that they did it to themselves and you didn't suspect a thing was wrong.
Yeah.
I'd say that's the worst feeling in the world.
Sharon was in hysterics; Randy had only just calmed her down. She was in his arms; quiet, but still shuddering with each sob stifled by his chest. Shelley wasn't there. She was at college majoring in journalism; she mustn't have known yet.
Kenny was outside; he'd probably smoked his whole box of cigarettes by now. I'd usually tell him off for it but tonight was under different circumstances; it calmed him down.
Wendy was sitting in between Cartman and I who were holding either one of her hands while she did her best to stifle her sobs. Honestly, neither one of us knew what to do for her, this was probably best.
Cartman stared into space, barely blinking. He hadn't said a word.
And I had my head resting in my free hand; I was absorbed in my thoughts, wondering why.
Why, why, why on earth would he feel the need to do this? He seemed fine. He seemed happy.
I could feel a headache developing and the hospital's heating wasn't helping. I placed Wendy's hand down slowly and patted it awkwardly. She looked up at me, her brown eyes brimming with tears.
I mustered a half-hearted smile and mouthed 'Kenny'. She nodded shortly and I headed for the entrance. Kenny was sitting on the steps with a cigarette hanging from his mouth and he stared at the lighters flame; the orange glow drawing him in like a moth to a light.
I plopped down next to him and he pocketed the lighter.
"You shouldn't smoke, you know."
I said after a while.
Kenny smirked and held the death stick in front of my face.
"Wanna' draw?"
I sighed and took it off him, holding it in my own mouth, taking a long drag.
He gave me a quizzical look and let out a light chuckle.
I coughed a few times and he pulled it from my hands.
I couldn't handle the smoke too well but I could see what he meant; in a way, it was calming.
"Alright, calm down, Smokey."
Kenny sniggered and he hit me on the back.
I took a breath of fresh air and smiled sheepishly at him.
"How... How is he?"
He ask a few moments after, his voice lowered to an almost whisper.
I opened my mouth to speak but then settled on taking another long breath instead.
We stayed silent for another moment.
"I don't know."
I whispered finally.
He closed his eyes and nodded solemnly.
I scooped some snow up from under my feet and held it to my forehead.
"You right?"
He asked.
"I'll be fine."
Kenny stood up and flicked the remainder of the cigarette into a nearby bush.
"C'mon."
He held a hand out to me.
I let the snow fall and took hold and he pulled me to my feet.
We walked back inside.
I sat back down in my original seat and Kenny sat himself down on the other side of me.
Wendy had fallen asleep, her hand still around Cartman's and he was still staring blankly into space.
Now I felt physically ill and my thoughts from before hit me again like a punch to the gut.
I didn't take Wendy's hand again; I cupped my face in both of mine and took a long breath through the cracks between my fingers. I heard a door open and my head shot up.
The doctor walked towards Sharon and Randy.
"He's stable."
Sharon broke in to a fresh round of tears and Randy took her in his embrace.
"Can we see him?"
He asked.
"Yes, but he's not conscious yet."
We all stood up at once and the doctor turned to us.
"Family only, kids."
We sat down slowly.
"K-Kyle's like f-f-family."
She rasped quietly through hiccoughs.
I averted my stare from the ground to Sharon, who was pulling herself away from Randy and taking a few deep breaths. She held out her hand to me.
"C'mon Kyle."
Randy said.
I stood up shakily and took Sharon's hand.
"You feel a bit hot, sweetie."
"I'm fine... Are you?"
She nodded.
Stan was stable. Meaning he was fine. He was alive.
For now.