Fear – Harry Potter One Shot
I wake up in the middle of the night, gasping, faint images of a nightmare. I look around the dorm, seeing my dorm mates still sleeping, I get out of bed and walk down the stairs to the common room, sitting on the couch in front of the fire that's still going, cuddling into the pillows, still thinking about my nightmares, about what is causing them. Though I know that answer. For as long I remember, I've had dreams of that night when Voldemort came to my home and killed my mom and dad, but now with the dementors near, bringing the memories forth, the nightmares are coming more frequently. I'm scared. I'm suppose to be the boy-who-lived, even if I hate that moniker. I'm not suppose to get scared, to be nervous, to be afraid, to have fear. I'm a Gryffindor, I'm suppose to be brave and courageous, and have chivalry. I'm not suppose to want to run away. To get away fro the danger. But I can't and I suffer through these nightmares because it is expected of me. It is expected of me, and I fear that. I want to be brave, I want to be courageous, I want to be chivalrous. I don't want to be a coward, I don't want to be a disappointment. A disappointment to my friends, to my teachers , and especially to my parents. But I fear that I am a coward and a disappointment. But I don't want to tell my friends my fears, I fear that they won't understand. I know what's causing this. The nightmares, the doubts, the fear, it's because of the dementors.
I hate the fear. The way it consumes me, fills me with coldness, fills me with a darkness, fills me with pain. The pain if remembrance, the fear of the memories. The memories turn into nightmares and dreams, consuming my thoughts every waking moments and throughout the night. That fear all consuming. I hate that it can consume me , filling me with desperate thoughts, wanting to get rid of it. I'm tire of it, of everything around me. Tire of being brave and courageous, tire of being afraid and scared, tire of the emotions, tire of the fear. I'm especially tire of the fear in me. I'm tire but I can't sleep. I close my eyes but all I see is green, all I hear the s screams, and then I wake, still feeling tire. It's like all the energy is gone and I can't fight it, or maybe I don't want to fight it. I just might nit have the energy anymore to fight the fear.