Bryan Kuznetsov liked three types of games; violent games, games into which he could incorporate violence and, last but most definitely not least, drinking games. He boasted of his amazing alcohol tolerance regularly. Regularly being every single time him and his teammates passed a pub, bar, restaurant, off license, liquor store, winery, brewery, swimming pool, library etc. As such, of course he had to challenge the brand new shiny Irish bladers to a drink-off after he heard a young girl boasting about her own abnormally high alcohol tolerance.
"It's like that time, at that concert, jeez lads, how were we not wasted?" she had said as Bryan passed through the hotel lobby.
"Perhaps you're forgetting; orange juice doesn't have an alcohol content," Bryan had stopped to sneer down his nose at the short purple-haired girl, who then turned to him and smirked.
"If you're makin' fun of my size, ye'd better think twice," she said casually, unbothered despite her words. "I'll have you know, I'd had more than you could probably take."
"I'll have YOU know, IM Russian."
"I'll have YOU know, I'm Irish."
Bryan almost flinched. Almost. "Is that a challenge I smell, little girl? My whole team is Russian, I'd bet we could take on all of you." He jerked his head towards her teammates.
"Aye," a short brown-haired boy said. "Well, we're always up for a bit of craic."
Bryan blinked; these kids were hardcore, but he was hardcorier...in his own mind.
The time was set for the hotel bar after dinner, all Bryan had to do was convince the ever sensible Kai...
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Why?"
"Because, Bryan, they're Irish, you'll get drunk."
"No, I won't."
"Yes, you will, and when you're drunk, we're all drunk."
"So?"
"I'm not waking up on a pool float ever again," Kai was now grinding his teeth, his hands clenching his newspaper until his knuckles turned white.
"That was Tala's fault, he was drunk."
"Bryan."
"What?"
"That's my point."
"Fuck you Hiwatari."
"Sorry, Bryan," Kai said smoothly, crossing his legs and loosening his grip on the newspaper. "But I'm always on top."
Bryan left the room in a rage, kicking over random pieces of undefined furniture on the way. He decided to find Tala, being team captain he'd have no trouble in making Kai join in on his quest to protect his self proclaimed title.
"IVANOV!" he thundered, marching into the stairwell, where the White Tigers had hidden a few stolen woks for practice purposes; damn hotel had no dish.
"KUZNETSOV!" Tala yelled back, in a mocking voice. "What's wrong?"
"We're going drinking tonight."
"Oh, honey!" Tala exclaimed, trying to hug a struggling Bryan. "I thought you'd never ask!"
"Fuck. OFF!" Bryan shoved his captain off him.
"Alright, alright," Tala laughed. "What's the occasion?"
"Damn leprechaun-lovin' Paddies think they can out drink me!" Bryan yelled. "I need you to make Kai go too."
Tala laughed, then ruffled Bryan's hair earning a glare.
"Did Kai-Kai say no to Bry-Bry?"
"Fuck you."
"Oh, Bryan, you should know I'm alwa-"
"Just fucking get Kai to fucking go drinking with us!"
Two hours, some death threats and several broken pieces of furniture later, Tala, Bryan and Kai were sitting across from three Irish teenagers.
"Áine," the purple haired girl held out a hand to shake, to which Bryan turned up his nose. She rolled her eyes. "This is Conor, and Lucy." She gestured towards her brown-haired friend and another girl, this time blonde.
"Ready to kill a liver, little girl?" Bryan was sneering again.
"Ready when you are," Áine smiled innocently, before calling over a waiter. "Shall we start small, or...?"
"Six tequilas, please," Tala smirked, his competitive streak showing.
Six little glasses of the amber liquid were placed before them and downed instantly. Bryan swore, the leprechauns hadn't even blinked.
"Vodka!" he yelled at the waiter, who sighed. Waiters have feelings too, and no one likes being yelled at.
The vodka was thrown back just as quickly.
"So, lovely weather we're having," Conor tried to start a conversation.
"Less talk. More drink." Bryan said.
"Sounds like Fr. Jack," Lucy murmured to her friends who laughed, much to the confusion of the Russians.
"More drink!" Bryan yelled in frustration at the Irish team's calm attitude.
-5 units later-
"Y'know Conor, you're pretty cute," Tala leaned over the table only to have Kai pull him back by his belt.
"No homo," he said.
"ALL THE HOMO!" Tala squealed.
"DRINK!" Bryan bellowed towards the bar.
The Irish team simply laughed.
-7 units later-
"Low, lie, the fields of Athenry,
Where once we watched the small freebirds fly," Lucy sang loudly.
"Hey baby let the freebirds fly!" Conor, Áine and Tala yelled.
"MORE DRINK," Kai and Bryan yelled.
-11 units later-
"Drunk yet?" Bryan smirked at the lazy looking face of Áine.
"Nope," she smiled.
"Prove it."
Áine got up and stood in a clear space on the floor, right foot out, toe pointed. Conor began tapping beats out on the table while Lucy sang and upbeat tune. Áine readied herself before launching into a complicated jig. She danced around the little clear space, not missing a beat, before landing back in her chair.
Bryan swore.
"Teach Kai," Tala said.
"What, why me?"
"I've seen you dance, you need help."
"DRINK!"
-16 units and a dance lesson later-
Lucy had dozed off, being a sleepy drunk and Kai was looking longingly at the door, praying someone would come save him from another jig. Bryan was still quite sober, as was Áine, Kai was a little disoriented, Conor was singing rebel songs and Tala, well one can never tell the extent of his sobriety.
"You've a lovely voice," Tala said to Conor, reaching an arm across the table, before being caught by Kai.
"No homo."
"All the homo, biatch."
"Drink..."
- 20 units and a rebel song later -
"RAY!" Kai yelled as the Chinese boy walked into the bar.
"Kai?"
"Ray! Save me! They made me dance! A-and the black and tans are coming! THE BLACK AND TANS RAY!" Kai stumbled across the bar to Ray and grabbed him by the shoulders. Ray looked past him to the table, they'd been mixing drinks.
"Uh, guys, I think I should put Kai to bed..." Ray said.
Bryan looked toward the sleeping Lucy, then Kai.
"We can afford to lose one," he decided.
Ray guided a stumbling Kai away from the bar.
"How come Kai gets to go to bed?" Tala whined. "I wanna go too!"
He leapt across the table, with a grace defying his drunken slur and grabbed a ditzy Conor by the waist leading him away as he continued his retelling of the 1916 Rising through song.
"Fucking Ivanov," Bryan muttered. "He's faking it to get away."
"Just us left then, eh?" Áine smiled.
"Good luck t'ye." She raised her mixer in Bryan's general direction before downing it. "Your turn."
"DRINK!"
- 25 units and some competitive remarks later -
"You're still fucking sober," Bryan said in disbelief.
"Aye," Áine replied. "I told you so."
"We've run out of drinks," Bryan continued.
"Not yet, I've one idea left."
"Eh?"
Áine pulled a clear glass bottle out of her bag.
"There's no label," Bryan eyed the drink. "What is it?"
"Poitín," Áine smiled. "You'd be arrested if you printed a label for it."
"No, what IS it?" Bryan asked.
"Illegal potato-juice," Áine said matter-of-factly. Bryan glared.
"Alcohol made of potatoes," she told him, and asked the waiter for two tall glasses.
"You've to down it in one go, no pausing, 'right?" she asked, a mischievous glint to her eye.
"Right" Bryan was determined to defend his title.
-2 poitín later -
"Holy shite, Bryan, are you 'right?" Áine asked, leaning across the table to shake Bryan's shoulder.
"D-d-da da daaa dada daa," he sang quietly while he stared into space.
"YES! I WON!" Áine screamed to the empty bar, throwing her hands in the air, and letting Bryan's face drop onto the table.
"Uuuuuuugh..."
"Oops," Áine said before taking out her phone. "How'yih, I won. Yes, so get down here now."
A few minutes passed before a sleepy Kai walked in, money in hand.
"Thank you!" he said. "Maybe now he'll stop drinking in libraries to prove points."
- The next day -
"Uugh," Bryan rolled over in the bed, feeling rather delicate. There was a knock on the door before Tala walked in bearing coffee and asprin.
"I lost didn't I?" he asked forlornly.
"Yup!" Tala chirped.
"In that case, screw the coffee," Bryan grunted through his pillow. "Get me my library card and a bottle of vodka."
"Kaaaaiii! He's doing it again!"
Fin.